Is This Tacky?

I think it's a great idea! Seriously, what is wrong with people? If you're worried about the old biddies then just don't call it a shower. But personally, I'd go on ahead with it!!

Would this be to shower her, or the orphanage she is starting? If for the orphanage I think it is a fantastic idea.

As long as you know for certain that she does not struggle with infertility or something like. I would be uncomfortable with it if I didn't know her very well. I can see where most people would want to find a reason not to do it if its making them uncomfortable. Maybe rephrase it as a baby shower themed bon voyage party instead of a straight up baby shower.

I get it - she's starting an orphanage so she will be "having babies" soon! That's pretty cool.

Let those old biddies squawk about tackiness all they want... They don't have to come.

I think it's a lovely gesture to send her away with.

Precious!

There will always be nay sayers..

Oh, who cares about the old curmudgeons. Do what you want!!
I have been on mission trips, and there was a small party thrown for me. I received invaluable things, that you simply can't get in poor or third world counties. Sunscreen, antibacterial wipes, chapstick, lotion, toilet paper (seriously!!!!) hand sanitizer, soap, shampoo and conditioner...all kind of things!!

The gifts I actually received were small ones, like mentioned above. Mostly, I received gifts for the children I was going to teach. Arts and crafts supplies, clothing, small things I could pack. Kids LOVE art supplies, and they do not get it where they live.

To me, what you are suggesting is no different then a going away party. It's perfectly acceptable.

I think that an "orphanage shower of blessings" is a wonderful idea. However, I would think there could be a problem with transporting these things if your friend is going far away (getting through customs, airline charges for extra baggage, etc). She might find it difficult or even impossible to take these things with her if she's going to a different country. She may not have a place ready to store these things yet.

So why not do something like a "future promises shower" or something? You could have a party and get a really big greeting card, and have the guests sign it and promise to keep in touch with her and "shower" her orphanage with necessities from time to time, maybe at Christmas or when her orphanage opens and receives its first children. Present the card to her and tell her to make a wish list and you and your friends will do your best to fulfill those wishes. If in the future she finds out that she needs fabric for clothes, or diapers, or blankets, promise her that those needs will taken care of, and form a cohesive group to stay in touch with her and help her out.

Love the idea of calling it a "shower of blessings."

One thing I believe is important: I know the event is a surprise, but I would absolutely ask her what kinds of things the orphanage will need MOST. That might not be baby items at all. You can do it without giving away the fact of the event itself. You don't want her to be given tons of newborn/infant items if in fact most of the kids who enter the orphanage are older than newborns -- in many places, it's kids who are older who are the ones who are not cared for by family or who have trouble getting placed anywhere but an orphanage.

I would want to ensure that she can truly use every gift, so I'd find a way to get that information so she's not inundated with cute baby clothes and diapers if what she really needs are blankets, preschooler-sized clothes, children's shampoos and soaps, first aid kits, etc. If she is doing this through a church organization, check with that organization about what is most needed to get her mission going effectively. I know the idea of a "baby" shower is fun, but you want to be certain the gifts are going to be used.

And yes, as someone else noted, she might have to deal with customs agents opening her shipping container and asking a lot of questions and demanding fees. Definitely check that aspect with the organization that's sending her, if there is one.

Not trying to put a damper on this very generous and sweet idea, just trying to be sure it does not create later issues for her when she is overseas.

I think it is a wonderful idea. Missionaries make immense personal sacrifices. Consider adding in just one or two small luxuries with the necessities. A bar of scented French milled soap goes a long way to making a woman feel pampered after a hard day.

A bon voyage party for your friend is not tacky. Giving her some gifts at a bon voyage party is not tacky. I think the "issue" these ladies have is that it's being called a shower, and they know that she's not married or pregnant so calling it a shower wouldn't be technically correct. Oh well! If they don't like what it's called, then they don't have to go. In this instance it's a cute play on words (because of her starting an orphanage).

I do think that a bon voyage party for a missionary trip is appropriate. I'm sure that your friend will greatly appreciate it.

The older women in the church who think it "tacky" are most likely cheap & don't want to fork out the money!

She's doing a wonderful thing and it should be celebrated :)

What a wonderful send off. So maybe don't call it a shower. This should satisfy the few that think it is tacky. God bless her. Enjoy your party.

I think it's a wonderful idea! I don't know where she's going but I'm sure anything given would be appreciated. My sister was a missionary in Africa for several years and loved getting anything; the kids where she was basically had nothing! We often sent care packages of items they could use.

The only concern I would have is whether or not she would be able to take everything with her. Or would she be able to ship stuff? You might want to check this out - you may have to restrict the "wish/gift" list. Just a thought!!

Good luck!!

She is having kids in a way, a lot of them! I love the idea.

Sounds like fun to me! A cute spin! Don't invite the complainers.

We had a send off shower for a girl at church that was leaving to go on a mission for 18 months. Her family had 4 boys out on missions or about to leave on missions too.

We got her towels, long johns, sheets, blankets, etc....anything she might need for her room where ever she might be while in Salt Lake City. Two of her brothers were in Peru and had hoped she'd go over seas somewhere but she stayed state side. She was very grateful for the items she received.

I think its a wonderful, sweet gesture and the "shower of blessings" is a nice title.

How amazing!! I love the shower of blessings idea. Can you post it in the church newsletter so other people can bring something too? I would love to attend a wonderful celebration like that!! Many blessings on her new children.

My thought is that generally, if you have to ask, yes it's tacky.

As a missionary, your friend is headed into a simplistic life, that's part of being a missionary.

Instead of a party to give her things, why not have a goodbye part, an collect items she can take to the orphanage and use. Take the focus off the missionary and focus on those she is serving.

Just my two cents worth

No, of course not! It's fun!

My friend's daughter went to Bolivia for her LDS mission. I was stunned to find out she would be unable to purchase tampons or pads in Bolivia or some other South Americian countries. The women there still use rags as our grandmothers did.
We routinely sent packages boldly marked "Missionary Supplies" but by the time she received them they had often torn open and things stolen out of the packages.
You may want to find out if the country she is going to will have personal care supplies for her to purchase or plan to continue to send her things while she is there.

I think the 'baby shower' idea is wonderful.

I don't think this is tacky at all! I love the idea.

Don't forget shoes! Those babies/kids are usually wearing shoes 5 sizes too big. :( Choose shoes that can be worn for a LONG time and breathe well....like Toms (or Toms knockoffs).

God bless her!

Well I don't think it's tacky, but I'm not sure it's really appropriate.
Of COURSE throw her a goodbye party!
But honestly, she's not really going to know what she needs until she gets there and sees what she has to work with.
Plus it's just going to cost her extra money to bring all these "gifts" that may or may not be useful.
Host a farewell dinner/party but save the "gift giving" part until she's there. At that point she'll have a good idea of what she needs (diapers? books? clothes?) and you can organize a drive at your church!

I like the idea, but if some say it's tacky, then call it a going away party... and those who want to bring gifts can do so..
I would add however that If she has to bring in more items, she may have to pay customs... not positive, but although you mean well, your gifts might end up costing her.. maybe you could ask her family what is needed in that money "might" be the best bet in that she can buy things there.. again, I could be wrong about this, but it's something to think about..

good luck

Some have already mentioned the cost of shipping or the cost of import taxes. I know from personally experience that import taxes can be HUGE!! Five minutes on foreign land and we were out $500 that we had to pay for ONE item that we were bringing for one of my brother's colleagues. Many countries will charge an import tax on anything that you bring into the country that could have been purchased in the country. You also don't want to send things that have a high value. Custom agents are known for helping themselves to things they want.

My brother and his family now live in Haiti and he and my sister-in-law have lived in three different African countries between the two of them. I also have a friend who spends a lot of time in Tanzania. One thing that they have always said is that it is better to send money than items if those items can be purchased in the country. If you send money you are helping the economy of that country. The $20 American dollars spent in one store may be substantially more than that shop owner earns in one week! Purchasing items within the country also insures that they are getting exactly what they need. And in some cases they $20 you spend on one pair of shoes in America could buy three pairs in that country. Granted, she will probably have things she needs that she can't buy there. Those would be the types of things to send later.

Be sure to check what things are not allowed to be brought into that specific country. Some countries will not allow you to send fabric, jewelry, food, or some types of print material in addition to other things that you might not ever think about.

I love the idea of doing a shower for her, but I don't want you to find yourself or her with a huge headache. Maybe at this point it might be better to do a "money tree" and then later send her things she can't get there. Best wishes!

My honest opinion? Don't treat this as a baby shower. Instead, organize a "baby and child treasure hunt" at second hand stores, consignments, Goodwill, etc. She does NOT need new nice baby stuff for orphans. She needs stuff in bulk. If you treat this as a baby shower, she will not get near as much and it won't go very far.

You can still have the party for the fun of it all. Forget wrapping stuff - no need. Have the party at her house so that everything is there for the movers.

That's my view on it...

As her friends, you know what she likes and would want. These older women don't seem to. And they don't have to go do they? And it seems that the shower is a GREAT way to support her in her new adventure in life!! Do what is best for your friend despite what the negative people have to say, there are always those who have a different opinion. And God bless you for being there and being so thoughtful for your friend :)

Are you talking like a baby shower? I think that would be silly if you are talking baby shower. I mean, where would she put baby stuff while she is gone? I'm sure she wouldn't take it with her, she doesn't need it. Although the thought is nice, I would opt for a shower to give her all the stuff she will need while she is gone, like toiletries, stamps, and such. I have a friend who is getting ready to leave to become a missionary for a year, and she has had to buy a years worth supply of all those sorts of things because they will be unavailable for her to buy during her stay. Whatever you decide to do I'm sure she will appreciate it, and you are good friends to her to think of it.

Call it a "Going Away Party with a Shower Theme".