It's Been a Rough Few Days

Oh yeah.

2 months ago my husband of 11 years attacked me (his temper has been getting worse and worse these past few years). I filed for divorce, restraining orders, and custody. Tuesday, we have our first hearing. I'm completely in knots. If my husband gets unsupervised visitation and no requirement for anger management I don't know what I'll do. I am TERRIFIED of him killing our son.

This week I spent a LOT of time throwing up... because his 'response' via his lawyers came in this week, along with letters from people all saying what a wonderful husband and father he is, and how I'm a deranged, crazy person. One letter, from my SIL who I've been friends with for 11 years, watch her kids -that I love and adore- a few weeks most years, and has been trying to help me with my husband's anger problems for YEARS ... the letter is so vile I could barely get through it.

((On the upside... a lot of most of the letters are bizarre. Like saying my son doesn't have the medical conditions he has. When that's REALLY easy to verify that he does. They're trying to say I've 'self diagnosed' him! Yeah. Sure. And on the basis of "my" diagnosis he's been hospitalized for months? And of course, I prescribe his meds, right? Right. Then they go on to say that my husband lived and worked out of the hospital. When that's easy to verify that he didn't, I was. Or that I never called 911/filed a police report/wasn't injured when he attacked me... when again, super easy to verify. But most of the letters are nothing short of total character assassination... with all kinds of unverifiable craziness. The only one that isn't is from a "friend" who goes on and on about what a wonderful husband and father my STBXH has been. Which just makes me another kind of ill.))

Of course, every single insecurity I have is jumping on my head right now (as parents we don't have insecurities, do we?). I'm a mess. And to top the cake, I spent 3 weeks playing phone tag with the DV advocate, trying to get my son into the KidsClub which is half therapy half playtime with other kids who've had to deal with this BS... and it "closed" for registration 2 weeks ago. The next one doesn't start until next year.

More fun... I have no money (STBXH makes 6 figures, but he has a new bank acct... and all my savings have gone to the lawyers), no car (he took the Jeep with him 2 months ago), and have had a headache from this concussion for 2 months. Then saturday I started crying blood. And had period like clots coming out of my sinuses.

And I'm trying to get the house ready for the guardian ad litem...

And most our "friends" have decided to be "neutral" (nope, sorry. It's not okay to be neutral when someone almost kills me. My near death, and the attack on my son, is not a switzerland invoking instance).

And, and, and. Ugh.

Shudder. Yeah. Bad week.

I'm in Buena Park and wish I knew where in Anaheim you are, I would come give you a hug, you HAVE had a rough week!!

I have as well. My family had my Dad home for hospice for 4 weeks, and he went to his Heavenly glory Friday night. It was rough seeing him decline more and more in those weeks to where we knew he was going to be dying soon.

Then the middle of last week he received a letter from the hospital in Fullerton he has been in and out of for the past year, saying his private information, the one HIPAA laws are there to protect, was compromised March through August of last year, they are investigating to see if anyone obtained his Social Security #, mother's maiden name, bank account #'s, etc., and offered him a free year of LifeLock...he was in a coma by then or would have raised the roof!

Thursday we were dealing with two 10 year old's and one 13 year old who couldn't understand why we were allowing their Tata to die and weren't "doing anything." Friday Dad was "uncomfortable" and I had to call and have a nurse come to assess him, the doctor increased his morphine for pain and lorazapam for agitation, so he could go peacefully. My ex-daughter-in-law found out about Dad and showed up to visit Friday evening, not one of my favorite persons normally, but praise God, she was here when it was obvious Dad was passing and she was a comfort to my mother, and she called my oldest grandson so he could be a part of what was happening. I went in at 9 p.m. to give Dad his meds and saw he was breathing differently, alerted everyone and called my brother and his wife who had just left back, Dad passed at 9:11 p.m., obviously I will never forget the time.

It was rough but what was rougher is that it took f o r e v e r for someone to come and pronounce Dad...I called a 5th time and was asked to hold, and I said, "NO, I cannot hold, I was put on hold the last time and disconnected. My Dad has passed and we need someone to come and pronounce him, NOW." Finally a little after 1 a.m. he was pronounced and we were allowed to disconnect the oxygen. We had waited 4 hours for someone to tell us what we knew...but it gave us time to get hold of family that wasn't here and grieve alone as a family.

A new coach and team mom will hopefully step up, have you considered doing so?
I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother, {{HUGS}}.
Your cousin's wife needs to grow up, who in their right mind says really mean things to a 2 year old?
Your niece has a rough road ahead of her, I hope she has her family for support.
Your daughter will heal with meds, but may be more susceptible to UTI's in the future so watch for them.
I hear you about the eczema, my sister's is raging, my fibromyalgia is flaring and I am just now able to keep food in me after about a week. Stress isn't fun at all.

Hang in there, life is like a roller coaster at times and the highs are coming!

God bless

Wow--you HAVE had a rough week!
So sorry about your grandmother.
T-ball? Life goes on.
Cousin's wife--at least you know her true colors now.
UTI? antibiotics.
Try to keep calm and hopefully the eczema & rash will subside.

Take these issues O. at a time....you know...the way you eat an elephant...O. bite at a time.
Hang tough!

I'm so sorry you are having a tough week.
Take a deep breath and take one thing at a time:
-I'm so sorry about your Grandmother. This is really tough & I am sorry you are going through it. Take any down time you can get to think of her.
-Your poor daugher w/her UTI but it will be ok. She will get a prescription to take c/o this.
-Your niece: just be there for her & your aunt.
-Steer clear of your cousin's wife. She's not worth it.€
-Do you have anything to help w/your eczema?
-Okay now....take a deep breath again, remember life is short, it's how we live it that matters, hug your kids, tell those you love them that you love them, surround yourself w/loved ones.
-Treat yourself to some inexepensive flowers at the supermarket.
-Remember...tomorrow is a new day w/new possibilties.
Hang in there & hugs!
-Hug your kids, tell them you love them.

Not this week but this was a BAD week wasn't it?? No wonder you're stressed! My best advice is to grab a friend, take a walk, have a good cry, a glass of wine, breathe and just try and decompress for awhile. Regarding the mean words from your cousins wife-blow it off, she's not worth it, you have bigger fish to fry. Please accept this virtual hug, it'll get better...hang in there.

I'm sorry it's been such a difficult week. Our week has been bad as well, but that is because my entire family has been home sick all week. My daughter appeared to have it the least and today started a fever of 103.8. It's 1:18am and I am up listening to her cough and blow her nose, but can't do anything for her because I've already given her meds, humidifyer, tea...

I am so very sorry to hear about your Grandmother. So very sad...

Karma will get your son's coach and team mom. Your cousin's wife as well. They're just rude people.

Sorry about your niece. Your family is going to need to be really supportive and rally together at this time.

Hoping your daughter gets better soon with antibiotics.

Hang in there and breathe!!!!

Stephanie