Jealousy Rearing Its Ugly Head

try giving her a responsibility.. such as when you change the diaper she has to get the diaper and unfold it and hand you the wipey. also if you put them both on the floor and have her teach the baby to play with her toys. have her hold the baby while she is sitting dwon because she is "helping mommy" by holding the baby. if she is more involved in her cae she may get better. also i recommend individual time with her without the baby. maybe a park or just a walk aroudn the block. when my 2 boys were growing up we always had dates. sometiems it was jsut 1/2 hour at a time but they both new that when it was their time the other one couldnt bother us unless it was 911 time.

Hi B., Try making a play date with another mom and little girl your daughter's age. She needs to start seeing that she has friends that she can enjoy while you are there with her. This will lesson the jealousy and fear that you love her sister more than you do her. Also, let her be the BIG sister by being your special helper.
I've also found that making cookies together - any recipe that can be rolled into balls and placed on a cookie sheet works - starts to give them focus on what they can do that the little sister can't.
Let me know if this helps. Grandma S.

Everything your doing is helpful, but I would also try including her with her sister more. Maybe making small comments, "Look at (baby), she just adores her big sister!" "Shes smiling at you, she thinks you're just great!" Asking her to help you with the baby and pointing out how helpful she is to you and how much you appreciate her. Ask her if she would please watch the baby whenever you have to leave the room, and keep checking in, call out and ask her how she's doing, how is the baby doing, and upon returning, make a big show of how everything was fine without you in the room and you're so thankful she was around to help you out etc. When she begins to get used to the fact that she's JUST AS important to you AND her sister, the jealousy will decrease. Thats the plan anyways, hope this helps!

I have two boys and a baby girl. I was lucky my oldest just adores babies. My second was the opposite of yours... didn't know what to think for the first 6 months, then started to kind of like his baby sister when he realized she was an actual person (those babies don't do much). I definitely like the ideas of making sure you have some special time with your older daughter. Also, suggestions of getting your daughter together with other friends sound good. Frequent meltdowns happen most often in my family when someone is overtired. At 2 1/2, your daughter should be getting about 12.5 hours total sleep (1.5 hours daytime sleep and 11 hours at night). If your daughter is not sleeping or napping enough, you will see this manifest in her behavior. Focus on getting her a good, consistent sleep schedule and see if she cheers up. Good luck!

HI B.! I an going through the EXACT SAME THING right now with my girls! They are 2.5 and 5.5 months old and it really is getting frustrating dealing with the fits and tantrums from my oldest everyday! I try to get my oldest involved, but she has almost no interest anymore (in the beginning it was fun for her to help, but now it's not!) She is very jealous of the time I share with her little sister- and I feel so bad sometimes! I see you posted this a while back- so maybe if you learned any tricks, you could send them my way??!! Thanks!!!

Your children are spaced about the same as mine. The first idea would be to try to get your oldest as involved in the baby care as possible, such as having her help hold the bottle or handing you the diaper. Discuss with her what a big help she is and how the baby needs lot of help. Also discuss with her that there are times you need to be with the baby and that you and she will have special time. I think they just need lots of reassurance. At 2 1/2 they are really able to understand so much, but make sure you take the time to talk with her and when the baby is quiet you and she spend some time together. My oldest delved into the big sister role and was so eager to help that we idin't have a lot of jealousy issues. We do have those issues with my son and youngest daughter, but he has just had to realize that they each get time with mom, and that mom's lap is big enough for both of them (just not all three:) I hope this helps. Your daughter is also probably going through a stage and the more she sees you return she'll get past it. Good luck!

A friend gave me a book, "From one to two". It has been helpful included warning you that each milestone the baby has and as it gets cuter and more animated, the toddler will go through a period of behavior troubles. One on one Mommy time might help. another helpful thing was that a family friend sent a book "I'm a big sister now" The package coming addressed to her made her feel special (we were also lucky that most visitors had the sense to fuss over the baby, but pay some attention to the toddler too.) and the book itself became a favorite. It talks about "I'm big, I can help" my daughter loves helping and quotes this line. that and playing mommy with her baby dolls. Good luck