Just a Rant - Tacoma,WA

I've been there.

While its good for kids to learn to sleep with some noise, the yelling out used to grate on me too. The key here is to be aware of how you respond to the 3y so that she doesn't become resentful of the 5m old for delaying what she wants.

Here are some things that worked for me:
-Tell her that we only use inside whispers when in the baby's room.
- Set up a drawer with snacks that she can get herself so that if she is hungry she can get them herself.
- When the baby does wake up startled. Soothe him for a minute then put him back down and walk away. Its okay for him to cry for a bit. He's tired and the crying will help him sleep.
- As soon as possible, grab a shower. For me, showers always take the edge off.

Hugs.
M.

i know what you mean. When I try to put my daughter down for her nap, my 3yo has quiet time in his room. He is not allowed to come out until I let him out. It took a couple of days but works like a charm. I get to spend the 10-20 minutes i need and want to put my baby down and he is rewarded with "Mommy and Me" time while she sleeps.

I know what you mean.

We helped our babies to get used to noise by playing classical music before they we put down and while they slept. That made it much easier on us.

Good luck to you and yours.

.

Oh, I know just how you feel. That used to drive me crazy!! You've gotten some really good advice so far. I especially like Cathy S.'s white noise idea- I have found that my babies would sleep longer in the summer when I would have a fan on. I also think Nina K.'s swing suggestion might work.

The only things I wanted to add are to try to remember that 3 yo have really crappy impulse control so I'm sure she's not trying to make things harder for you- I know, it still sucks- it'll get better.

The other thing is it would be good to try to put the baby to bed when he's drowsy, but still awake so he learns to go to sleep on his own. It might not be easy at 1st, but the pay-off is sooo worth it. I finally did that with my 3rd, and my life would have been a lot easier if I had done it with #2, and to a lesser degree #1 too.

Hang in there!! =o)

She's showing you by her behavior that she can't do this. Maybe the baby would go to sleep in a swing while you read a book or something quiet like that, nearby with your daughter?

Do you put baby down in his own room, with some white noise(a fan maybe) and the door shut? Or does your toddler just ignore all that? The white noise will help block out noise from outside sources, keep your toddler in another part of the house and offer a reward if she can keep quiet, or maybe adjust the schedule where she's down at the same time as baby? Just a few suggestions,... Wishing you extra sleep tonight. C. S.

She doesn't know what "Be Quiet" means. You have to tell her some other way and SHOW her what you mean. Whether you call it an "inside" or "soft" voice, you have to show her by talking softly. Or say, "Baby is sleeping so we need to use our baby voices." and whisper when you talk.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

I 'trained' my son to specifically sleep around noise. My 2 kids are 5yrs apart. My son can sleep with his sister screaming right next to him... Because he got used to it right from the beginning.

My suggestion would be is to talk to her WHILE you're trying to get the little one to sleep. Your 5mo old will get used to the voices and learn to fall asleep dispite the noise.

Lack of sleep will most definately contribute to the irritability along with hormones constantly changing and having a toddler. **This coming from a woman that, just like you, has(during PMS)/had (w/pg) crazy hormones. But I also have Idiopathic Hypersomnia with long sleep cycles (polysymptomatic). **

Everyone deserves a rant!! Hope you feel better!!
I learned (finally) with my 3rd one that they do much better when they can sleep when it's noisy. My youngest could sleep thru anything, vacuum cleaner even!! With two older brothers 5 and 7 yrs older our house was never quiet. She got used to all the noise and when she was tired, she slept. Poor thing now she is 14 and has to have some kind of noise to fall asleep still!! TV Ipod or something.

When the baby is asleep we use our whisper voice. Sounds good right? It will probably work. When mommy puts the baby in the crib, we don't yell. Use consistent consequences for her loud behavior if she doesn't listen. Even if she is likely to scream in a time out or something, take her as far away from the baby as possible, leave only a crack in the baby's door, and block out as much noise as possible.

My daughter was 3 going on 4, when I had my 2nd child. Her little brother.
Before I had him though, 'naps' were a daily routine. She napped.
So then once her baby brother came home, 'naps' were still a routine.
And I explained to her.... what a baby is, and that they nap too, and that Mommy 'naps' too because the Doctor said I have to rest. (I had had a c-section) etc.
So I explained all of this to her. She understood.
I synchronized, the afternoon naps to be at the same time as her baby brother.
And I rested too, at that time.
I would ALSO say, that "it is Mommy's nap time too.... and baby brother..."
That worked for me.

3 years old, is not an easy age. Developmentally.
So keep 'expectations' age appropriate, or the child will get frustrated, and you too.

My daughter, even at that age, understood that when someone is sleeping, it needs to be quiet.
We tip-toe, whisper, and make quiet.
I explained that to her. That she can talk, but has to 'whisper' and tip-toe in the house. And I would, show her how. And that Mommy did that too.

I explained to her, all along and each month, what a 'baby' is and how they are developing and what they can or cannot do. That a baby cries/i nurse him/they wake etc. But it is Mommy's 'job' to take care of baby, and she does not have to feel, bothered by it.
My daughter understood.
Because, instead of expecting her to just understand.... I approached it as... this is all 'new' to her too. The baby. Thus, I simply explained things to her. A child does not understand 'why' unless you explain to them, and incorporate their own age-related development, too.

In the afternoons, was QUIET time in our house. It was a DAILY routine. Thus, my older daughter knew. Because it was just routine.
I would lie down too, on the sofa etc., after I put her baby brother to nap, and then I would put HER to nap. That was my 'sequence' of it... and putting my kids to nap.

Anyway, that worked for me.
My son is 4 now and still naps in the afternoons.
My daughter even if she is 8 now, will still nap in the afternoon is she is tired.
Because, it has always just been the 'routine' since they were babies.

Perhaps rather than asking her or telling her to be quiet, you can give her an activity AND a snack AND a drink AND make sure she's hit the potty before you put the baby down for a nap. That's method number one. Don't give her a reason to interrupt you when you're settling the baby.

Method number two involves carving out more one on one time with her so that when you have to spend alone one on one time with the baby (as she sees it) putting him to bed she won't feel a need to interrupt and demand attention. This could very well be a need for attention. Especially if you used to have bonding time and closeness during getting her settled down for naps. She may miss that, and she now sees you doing that with the baby.

My mom's theory was NEVER make a special effort to be quiet around a sleeping baby, but she usually had a radio and a fan going by the crib to make the sounds the rest of us were making less startling (the vacuum is also good white noise). I'm the oldest and I sleep ok. My youngest sister however can sleep through a RIOT! But with three older siblings and all their friends running through the house when she was little she had plenty of practice.

I'm still trying to get my 13 year old to be quiet. Hope you get a nap in today!!!

My daughter did this only twice in my entire career as a Nanny... and that is because this is what I did.

The first time she woke up the baby I was trying to lay down because she was impatient... I spanked her.

Second time she did it, I got her carseat from my car, placed her in it far away from us without any toys or TV and clipped her in and she stayed there until baby was asleep and I came back out.

I continued to do this for a week - clipping her in the carseat until baby was safely sleeping... she realized what would continue to happen if she tried to interrupt and wake the baby.

I was a Nanny from when she was 6 months to just over 3 years old. I did the carseat thing around almost 2 years old.