Just Got Two New Cats, My Toddler Is Being Too Rough - Advice?

She is young.
Kids this age do not have full "impulse control" developed yet.
She cannot yet... nor has mastered.... full control of handling a pet.
It is best... to keep expectations, age-appropriate... because, punishing her will not work.
She is 3.
They cannot yet do, fully, nor have fully mastered.. their compulsions.... or impulses.

This is a kitten... pets 'mesmerize' young children.
It is new to her.
She does not have the know-how... on how to manage a pet... or handle it, yet.

all the best,
Susan

Cats do have that fascination for toddlers. But you're going to have to teach your daughter anyhow. You'll need to keep the cats separate from her when you can't be right there watching. Happily, kitties don't mind taking naps in a closed room as long as there's water, a litter box, and something around for them to get into - preferably something that they shouldn't.

This is one reason, incidentally, why some shelters will not adopt out baby kittens or pups to families with very small children.

Clare Turlay Newberry, a children's author of several decades ago, had a book called THE KITTENS' ABC (I recommend it because the illustrations are wonderful!), and one of the rhymes says, "Be gentle with a pussy cat - do not grab, but softly pat." I taught my children with this little rhyme. If your cat-loving girl can't mind you on this, there needs to be some sort of time out.

You see, if she inadvertently terrorizes your new kittens, they may assume that all children - or all strangers - will treat them badly, and then you have a worse problem! (This is aside from the reality that the kittens could be badly injured, and/or so could your daughter.)

When you are with your daughter, if a kitty gets in your lap, show her how to love the cat properly, and talk about how we MUST be gentle to animals. Maybe if she had a stuffed toy kitty of her own, it would help as well. She can squeeze a stuffed kitty all she wants and it won't mind a bit.

oh lordy...the kitten thing, we just went thru this and came out alive. I almost wish we never had poor kitten for all i have been thru. My husband got one of those clear plastic totes, the big ones and cut a bunch of air holes in it and my 3 yr old daughter was allowed to play with the kitten by just looking at it and not holding it all the time. My main thing was that i am preggo and did not want a kitten in the house. But inside its little house, she was allowed to bring it inside our house sometimes. We had many battles, but soon the newness wore off and the kitten got bigger, she began to try and hold it less and less and now its just part of our family and she doesn't hurt it anymore or try to hold it. It has got alot bigger. I thought i would never live thru the whole ordeal, i felt sorry for the poor kitten and almost got rid of it

On the bright side when the cats get tired of having their tails pulled they will go hide or get on something high where she can't get to them. My son has been around cats all of life - I had cats before I had him. But he also went through what I call a "smoosh stage" with them. Just had to love them all the time and got frustrated when they ran off cause he was loving them too much.

If you are doing time out, and telling and showing her how to play gently with them and she is still not listening how about simply removing the cats when she gets too rough with them? Literally pick them up and put them in a separate room. Tell her that they can come back out to play when and only when she calms down and plays nice with them.

Is she gently with her baby dolls? Maybe also explain to her that they are babies and have to be treated like such. Maybe check out some books from the library about kitties and kids, etc. that you can read with her.

She is understandably excited about the kitties - but she may as well learn now that cats never never never do what we want. But you don't want them to become afraid of her and you definitely don't want them to hurt her if she pulls too hard on their tail.

Good Luck and enjoy your new pets.

I had this struggle with my older one. We had an elderly cat when he was born and I really struggled to teach him to be gentle (he is naturally a rough, loud, high energy kid). It took until about age 3 for him to get it. From when he was 3 for about 18 months the cat was sick and he was reminded constantly to be gentle (she died this past summer at age 21). I told him over and over she is as old in cat years as his 90 year old great grandma. Get her a stuffed cat (my kids love the beanie baby cats). Make sure the cat has a refuge away from her and put the cat in a separate room if your daughter gets rough or the cat has had enough. My older cat hid under the bed when she had enough. I would give time outs when she is not minding about being gentle and supervise her with the cats until she gets it.

This is why I don't recommend kittens for kids under 6 years of age. Sorry.

We fostered some kittens my older girls found in the alley. They were only about 3 or 4 wks old so they were really small. My 2 yr old went crazy for them. Unfortunately, she would also pick them up by their ears or neck, or even drop them to the floor. I used a kennel to keep them contained so she would not hurt them. We would let them out but only when I or my older girls were able to supervise. We also worked with her in holding them. She was fine when sitting on the floor. At this age, they don;t put cause and effect together so don't understand that the kittens have to be held nice.

Wow, as I read this post, I felt Iike I could have written it, word for word. We just got 2 kittens and my 5 and 3 yr olds are rough with them, and I have no idea what to do. They love them, and get so excited when they see them, but then they start grabbing, pulling, and aggravating. My oldest's hands are scratched up a bit from the claws. I'm not sure if I'll get them declawed or not. They are just the sweetest loving cats. I sure hope this issue gets better for us and you. I'd hate to think that getting them was a mistake.