Just Need to Talk - Chicago,IL

I have been using a wonderful supplement that has helped me greatly and if you have a finacial strain you can get involved with the company. Let me know if you want more info, ____@____.com. I know how it is, after getting involved in this business that takes almost no effort, I have gotten a regular cleaning lady and now go for regular massages. It makes life a little easier! Good Luck,G. Chambers

W.:

One of the things I do to unwind is that I color. I use colored pencils and a more grown up coloring book that you can find at the craft stores (like Michael's). Sometimes I just make photocopies of designs from books. Colored pencils allow you to blend colors and be creative without a lot of mess or expense.

Good luck.

C.

Hi W.,

I too live a very hectic life - with working full time, being involved on several community groups, and keeping up with three children (ages 10 - 16). I knew that I needed to add something for me, but didn't want to take even more time away from my family. I also knew that I needed to exercise. This Spring, my children wanted to try tae kwan do, so we began taking it together. It gives me time to do something with them, to exercise, and to still enjoy some me time. At times, I also use a treadmill, which allows me to be at home and still get some exercise.

S.

HI W.,

I have had some of the same health problem as well, my doctor also stressed to me that I have to find something to keep me calm and relaxed. I sat down one day and thought back to when I was younger the things I was really into, thats when it came back to me I loved doing puzzles. I went out and bought a 1000 piece puzzle for less than $5.00. I also started making a specific ME TIME each and every day (even if its an hour) to sit down with a glass of pop, water, lemonade or etc. And work on my puzzle all alone. I also explained to my children ( 7, 8, 10 yrs) about what Mommies ME TIME meant. That keeps me relaxed. I also joined a book club, that way I have an intersting book to read when its time for my ME TIME. Hope this helps.

I hear you! I'm a little younger, and only having #2. But I understand that health and family can get in the way of feeling great. I too have migraines, etc. It is hard when you don't get a break at all!

Coffee? A nice walk? Please let me know if you would like to talk. I know how it is!!! Everyone needs a break! Good for you for your your 6 kids!!! God bless!

M.
H ###-###-####
C ###-###-####

Hi, sorry to hear about your migrains....A friend of mine gets them bad too. She swears by magnesium (sp) Maybe it could help you too?

Yes - EXERCISE!!! It's the biggest relief in the world. But most specifically exercising out in the sunlight with no sunglasses is important because it triggers seratonin production, which in turn, makes your moods lift. I'm actually writing a book on better health - specifically involving greening and outdoor exposure - and I've done a ton of research on it. The book is called Gardening Nude - but ironically there's no nudity or gardening in the book - HA! It's all about stripping away THE EXCUSES and getting outside to feel better.

I'm turning 42 this year - have a lot of stress in my life - but cope lots better because of my outdoor time.

Be sure to eat well too.

Best of luck to you! OH - and if you want to learn about some of my healthy ideas, go to my website - www.thecasualgardener.com.

Take care and best of luck!

S.

There are some simple ways you can learn to relieve the pressure that is making you ill.
You cant give what you dont have which is why I started a Mother's support group. It is free & we get together every first Thursday at 7pm for about 1 1/2 hours to learn stress management & relaxation techniques at a cafe at 4352 N. Cicero.
Also if you can commit to spending 20-30 minutes daily as you go off to sleep listening to a relaxation recording you can develop the part of your mind~the same part you use when you meditate or pray~to focus on feeling better.
It is no surprise that most of my clients are loving & nurturing women who just need a little guidance to discover how to unwind.
Wishing you wellness.

I am a mom of 5 who feels the same way. So, finally I did a small thing for myself...Just last week I had my friends babysitter(so I knew she was reliable and great) come for 3 hours. It is the first time I have ever had a sitter!! I had a list of errands to run BY MYSELF!! It was so nice I only got half the list done! I found myself "lost" in the stores actually looking at things. It was very relaxing! I even read some labels at the grocery store instead of acting like I am on a game show and throwing everything in the cart! It was so nice that I have her scheduled to babysit one day a week for a few hours for the whole summer! I figured $40/week for my sanity is well worth it!

As far as migraines go I get them REAL bad too. I have also been to the hospital many times. But, I found a solution! I was tested for food sensitvity. I think it cost $75?? Anyway, I found I was VERY sensitive to corn syrup and gelatin!! Now I avoid those 2 things...which is not always easy, and I only get one migraine a month(PMS) which I can control with my migraine meds when I feel it coming on! If you want the phone number for the testing just let me know! It was well worth the money to me!!
Good Luck...and take a deep breath :)
J.

Good Morning W.,

I am a mom of 5 and also have 2 step kids, so I know what it is like to "forget" to do the things we need to do for ourselves. My kids are older now so trust me when I say it does get better and you will find time for you eventually. In the mean time you have to do the best you can with the time you have and pray for God's hands to help.

My husband, who drives over the road and can not get tons of exercise time, suffered severly with migranes, like you in and out of the ER, on IV's, all kids of drugs, vomitting, laid out for days... It seemed like there was no hope this had gone on for as many years as he can remember. Anyway, what we did was simple, we simply switched our shopping habits and store. We changed our home to healthy non-toxic home with safer, botanical products.

In 4 1/2 years since I joined Melaleuca, my husband has had but 3 headaches and with the use of the Pain-A-Trate on his temples they were gone in a matter of minutes. Our medicals bills have gone down greatly and he no longer needs to take all the drugs he did. Today he takes Vitality for Life Total, uses only Melaleuca products (shaving creme, shampoo, after shave, laundry...), and carries his Pain-A-Trate just in case.

And on top of my hubby being headache free, we earn a nice residual income from Melaleuca as well. However the most important thing is to get you pain free so that you can enjoy your family to the fullest. Let me know if you would be interested in becoming a customer. You can set up a temporary account and try our products risk free for 120 days and the cost to become a customer is way less than Costco or Sams it is only $14.50 till the 20th of this month. Let me know if you are ready to make a change and simply switch stores for a better healthier you.

Many Blessings
M.
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Hi, W.! I'm a massage therapist and have a set of cards that detail natural healing. If you have an email address you'd like me to scan and send them to, I can scan the ones regarding migraines and any remedies that are recommended. From there, you can go to a natural health food store (like Baum's on 30 in Merrillville) to ask more questions and get what they recommend. To relax, have your husband watch the kids (or have the oldest ones take the youngest to the park for a little bit) while you take a nice bath. I get ocular migraines (have had only 3), so I can only imagine the pain you're in by your description. I hope things get better! Good luck!!!

Hi W. my name is M. and I have friends that suffer from migraine headaches and I can inderstand your pain, I have a sister that sells nature medicine that can help you control the pain her name is Norma and if you want to talk to her call me and I can tell her to follow up w/you, you mention church,do you live in Chicago, send me a response so we can chat and good luck!!!!
M.

God never puts more on us than we can bare, but it certainly doesn't mean that we ourselves don't. As mothers we feel obligated to make sure our children and husbands/significant others have wonderful fulfilled lives and we forget about ourselves. If one of our children should miss a practice or baseball game, we beat ourselves up tremendously. Not thinking about how many times they themselves drop the ball and disappoint us. That's not to say we go tit for tat on who disappoints who, but at the same time, we have to stop being so hard on ourselves and understand that sometimes we just need a day. Even the good Lord took a day why shouldn't we. We aren't God, but often times because we multitask so much we feel as if we are. You really need to MAKE and TAKE the time for yourself. Start with 30 minutes. Tell your family you have a specific time everyday just for you and enforce it. Increase your time as you can or see fit. You deserve it. Explain to your family that if they want you physically around longer, you need to find time to nourish yourself mentally, physically and emotionally and that it would mean a lot to you if they would cooperate for just that little bit of time each day.

Good luck. God loves you and I appreciate you for being the woman that you are. Now, go make time for yourself.

T. - single mom of 2

Hi W.,
I know life can be very crazy at times and with 6 even more so. I find for myself, that a walk or exercise helps to relieve most of the stress in my day. I do find it difficult to fit it in some times, but miss it when I cannot do it. I have started getting up before the household and walk with the dogs or on my machine. Also, for the migraines, I also suffer from them, and I read an article about the vitamin B1 helping to reduce or eliminate the migraines altogether. It has worked so far for me, but if you think you are pregnant you may want to check with your DR first.
Hope this helps.

WOW...that's a lot of kids!! I had very, very bad headaches too and started going to a chiropractor. I know some people think they are quacks....but they really are not. After my first adjustment, I felt a LOT better. See how much your insurance covers. Do you live in the Bloomington-Normal, IL area? I can tell you that my chiro is Dr. Ryan McLaughlin. He is a great guy, funny and totally approachable. I like chiropractors because I don't have to go to a hospital or get injections and other nasty medications. It's totally natural!! If you have any questions, feel free to email me! :)

Hi W., There are alot of good ideas here; I hope you can find a way to de-stress. I too have had excruciating migraines and I'm convinced they are partially triggered by stress. I think that is what your doctor is saying. We caring type women sometimes have a hard time caring about ourselves. I suggest this: think of yourself as one of your children or good girlfriends, what would you do for her? What does she need? What I mean is, if you could see yourself from the outside, what would you see? I'm guessing you secretly think of yourself as someone who doesn't need her own time etc.,or doesn't deserve it and you truly do. You might need to do a number of things to really change your priorities and unwind. It might be quite difficult for you. But clearly you are getting the message that you do need to, in fact I would even say that you are getting that message from your higher power (God or whatever you call it) through these various agencies, (your doctor, your migraines, and now Mamasource.)All the best to you and please do find a way to put yourself first part of the time. By the way since you are a spiritual person, remember the Lord said "love thy neighbor as thyself" not love thy neighbor to the exclusion of thyself. Yes?

I know this seems impossible (6 kids?!!), but I've found that the only way to be sure I'll have some time to take care of myself is to schedule it. Hopefully you have some help (your husband and other willing and able babysitters) and you're not doing this all by yourself. As far as money goes, one idea is getting massages at a massage school rather than a spa or getting facials at a cosmetology school. My hat truly goes off to you for even wanting to have that many children. I don't know how you do it as I only have one and feel that more children would be more than I could handle. God bless you!

What about something free, like a walk in the park or a visit to the library? Or, if there is a beauty or massage school nearby, maybe they offer discounted services to let their students “practice” on you (I’ve been and it was a pretty good experience). Sometimes, a long soak in the tub with NO interruptions is just as good as a fancy spa day. Just set ground rules (yes, with children and husband that can be hard) and take even 30 minutes for yourself. You’ll notice the difference right away.

Hi W.!

I don't mean to intrude, however, something that was missing from your question is your husband/partner. Are they available to give you an 1/2 to 1 hour a day to yourself? If not, you don't mention the ages of your oldest children, but possibly they can watch the younger ones for 1/2 hour? You can also try your church or school...possibly time share with another parent, once or twice a week you take their child(ren) and vice versa.

Not everyone has time for extra's like excercise and yoga, but if you can turn a negative to positive, life can be more fun.

If none of these can work for you, I suggest getting up 1/2 hour earlier (staying up later can only make you more tired)and making that time yours to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee/tea and start moving slowly. Eat something nutritious to get yourself going. Wake up with a positive thankful attitude for your blessings and try to think of at least one thing good everynight before you close your eyes.

I'm soon to be 43 and have a husband and three kids that range in age from 16, 12, & 5. I know stress when I see it. Deep breathing and a lot of clowning around with the kids helps too. Turn a negative to positive....when my kids begin bickering, I make them sit indian style with the noses touching until pretty soon they are laughing and the dog is in the middle trying to put her nose in too. Pretty soon they forget what they starting fighting about. I started this when they were very young, and still do it now (not very often, I'm very lucky). Or give them water guns (making sure to have one yourself) and let them have at it...it's only water-rules are below the neck only and not on the furniture.

Hope this helps. Good luck and God's blessings.

I am the single parent of a highly intelligent and very very active seven year old- and she about does me in. I can't imagine the pressure of being the mother of 7! The only thing that really holds me together is the practice of yoga. There are breathing techniques and sets of exercises that transform my anger, frustration, fatigue and pain into tranquility and strength. Truly. I used to suffer from migraines and bad low back pain, but since I began practicing regularly they have both disappeared. In order to deepen my practice I took teacher training and am now a yoga teacher! I have a small studio in the Pilsen neighborhood- Studio Ganesh- it is listed on the Mamasource website. Please come by! Classes are only $11 and you can leave with some techniques to practice at home for lowering blood pressure and releasing tension. I teach lots of mamas and teachers!

Greetings!! Wow I admire you for being a mother of 6. I am struggling with just one 18 month old. Maybe you can find a way to relax at home instead of going somewhere like a spa. Even if it is as simple as a warm bubble bath. I had a particularly stressful day the other day and dragged a boom box radio into the bathroom, put on my favorite CD and then filled the tub with hot water and my daughter's Mr. Bubble: Pink Bubble gum bubble bath. It was a little silly but I lost my stress for about 20 minutes!! Also, I don't want to freak you out but if you haven't already, I would insist on an MRI for your headaches. A friend of mine (healthy 32 yr old) was being treated for migranes and died suddenly of a brain anurysm (spelled wrong). Had she been given an MRI, her death probably would have been prevented. She was a newlywed too, very tragic.

It sounds like your body is trying to really tell you something. I used to get migrains too. As a Christian too, i can tell you that God wants you to take of your self too. Also, you can't help your kids if you're too run down with a migraine. with that said, I'd suggest praying to god to ask for help first of all. Then, I'd ask, how much sleep do you get? What are you eating? Do you have enough down time? are any of the kids old enough to babysit or could you trade off childcare with another mom? Have you asked anyone for help in specific ways? Having kids taught me to ask others for help and to learn to say no to some things i simply didn't have time for. For ex, I can only volunteer in one or two areas, as oppposed to how much i used to volunteer. I also benefit hugely from a Bible study group with a bunch of multigenerational ladies who support us younger moms and acknowledge how raising our own children is a service to God and support our setting LIMITS in our lives, as we too, are children of God who need some rest too.
I took lots of steps. i saw my doctor, took vitamins, learned to drink more water and better foods and started an exercise regimen to de-stress, all of which helped!
Good luck and God bless,
K., (mother of an 11, 8 and 6 year old who can tell you it does get easier when the kids get older.)

Hi W.,

You sound like such a wonderful mother, and like most of us, we do forget about ourselves!

I host free, yes free spa parties! Most of my clients are moms just like you, and they end up doing 2 parties a year to be pampered and spend time with friends!

You can view my webpage: www.myjafra.com/hjohnson2

I can guarantee a relaxing and fun night for you and/or with friends!

and try this in the meantime: while checking email, watching a half hr tv show, anything that has you sitting still for 15 or more minutes. Soak your feet in hot water with bath salts, and scrub with a peppermint foot scrub. Dry and apply peppermint lotion, and wrap in saran wrap. put a tight sport sock on for one hour only. Do not forget to remove, any longer can result in foot damage.
You can walk, so don't feel you have to sit for an hour with this on, but if you can, please do so. You will feel so relaxed, and peppermint is a natural healer.

Enjoy! ps...I am a mother of 2, ages 3 & 4. I do this once a week. you should take at least 15 minutes for yourself a day, but if you can't, do at least an hour a week for just you!! If Mama aint happy, nobody is happy!

This may sound too simple, but I believe in the mind, body, spirit connection. When I was going through infertility I tried different kinds of meditation. There are all kinds of books and tapes that can advise you, you could even check them out of the library (and at church)to save money. You will have to be consistant and use positive self talk to see results. I think as women most of us are overwhelmed and it comes out in different ways for everyone. Hopefully you have a good girlfriend for emotional support. I wish you all the best.

HI W.,

I can relate to your email. I am a 60 yr. old grandmother who has had a lot of similar issues in my life, including your connection with my Lord, your family, and the migraines, that I do have had to bear. Your needs touched me.

Two things have helped me immensely with the headaches. Both are natural - one is a matter of time. As I got older and away from the child-rearng years, the migraines became less often and far less painful. I know that is not real reasurring now, but I hope it at least gives you a little hope.

However there IS something that can help NOW! Are you aware of the dangers of the many common TOXIC chemicals in the home? I have found that information totally devastatingly shocking! Please allow me a chance to tell you about the wonderful SAFE TOXIC-FREE solutioins that I have found!! It has made an amazing difference for me and for my daughter's family! In addition, I have asthma and gasp for air every time I am in the store NEAR the TOXINS aisle! I thank God that I have found this wonderful, HEALTHY solution for myself, my family, and my home!

Please reply to my email or give me a call at ###-###-#### and allow me to tell you about it. Also, check out this site: http://www.livetotalwellness.com/bevk for more info.
Please do YOURSELF a favor and let me help you! I CAN HELP!

B.

There is no one way that is good to relax. Frankly, my first couple of times to the spa, I didn't even find it relaxing and as you mention, it's expensive. I would sit and start jotting down ideas about what do YOU find relaxing. This may take a while if you've been giving giving giving for so long. Is it a solitary walk in a park, is it a run? is it reading a book for a whole hour by yourself? Relaxing doesn't have to be expensive, it just needs to be something that calls to you. And as previous posters have said, schedule the time weekly. Maybe there is a time where most of the kids are in school and you can get a baby sitter for the rest of them. Scheduling it is key. And if you don't know what you want to do to relax, spend several weeks trying something new until something resonates with you.

Hi W.!

I am a mommy to two baby girls...a 2 year old and a 1 year old, and I know I am a better mommy when I take some time for myself. I also get migraines, just not nearly as severe as yours. I recommend getting a few bottles of foam bubble bath, and I find that the discount kinds usually are the best, a good book (I recommend anything by Jodi Piccoult), a face mask, and a bath tub. As soon as the kids are in bed, or entertained, relax in the tub with your book, and you will feel so revived! Also, at wal-mart they sell a ton of sally hansen and other products for at home pedicures. I have a foot soak and I bought a rubbermaid storage bin and I put in some water and my foot soak and I watch a lifetime movie....it is bliss! I use a ped-egg (also sold at wal-mart) and a foot cream with comfy socks, and you would be amazed at how refreshed and pampered you will feel! Just by giving yourself a little at home pampering whenever possible...it makes a world of a difference! And for you migraines, whenever you start to feel stress or get that nagging pain in your head predicting severe pain to come, I have a stress relieving eye/forehead mask that you can either put in the freezer or microwave and then velcro around your head. It really does help! I got it at bed bath and beyond for about $10! Good luck and take it easy whenever you can....remember you are as important as your kids, and they can be a little independent sometimes!

Hi W., I won't go into how you should change your diet and all that because most people won't, but there is an herb feverfew you have to take it and take one everyday, but your migraines will get less and not so severe and eventually none but if you stop taking it they will come back. Go to a good health food store and ask a knowledgeable person about feverfew and you don't need something with a bunch of different or expensive products plain old feverfew.

Hi W.,
My name is Pastor E. Davis. Remember God worked six days and the seventh day He rested. The Bible calls this "The Sabbath". You will have to make up in your mind that you have to make time for yourself, "W.'s Sabbath". Now, I understand about having small children but you need at least an hour to yourself and do your own in door spa. Yes, I understand about church and ministries as well but we must have some "Me Time". Perhaps you can plan to put the children to bed one hour early at least once a month and then move to twice a month. Or, get the monthly events from the school and church and decide the ones you will participate in for that month.

You are right to say the God never put more on you than you can bear. God is not putting this on you. God first, (not church ministtries), which include your devotional time with Him, family second (they need a rested W.), decide to have some "Me Time", and everything else is third. I was told by my mentor and confidant that I can't do everything and neither can you. Have a blessed day!

IF YOU CAN LOCK THE BATHROOM DOOR: AHH, (now not everyone loves this but I do)...a nice, hot bubble bath. Several nights a week. ahhh...and a magazine you don't mind getting wet. And instructions that everyone is to leave you alone. Well, that's what works for me. And besides exercising you could keep a teensy journal to figure out what is the worst stressors ( i know that takes time, too that's why I said teensy ). And of course try everything else that is suggested! God bless you! S.

Hi W.:

How proud you and your husband must be of your children! God bless all of you. I am a mother of 3 children and find it difficult at times, to find time for myself, so I can imagine trying to manage a double load! First you have to put things into perspective. You are a woman of God. You've been warned by a physician you trust. I believe you have great instincts because of Who you have on the inside of you. Your loving heavenly Father took a day to Rest. He didn't need to rest, but He knew our physical limitations and loved us so much that he became that example, for us to FOLLOW. Don't let people make you feel GUILTY when you say NO, I'm not able to commit to that at this time, but keep me in mind for "Next Year". Notice there's no "Sorry" in that statement. You have a husband and six children! I'm willing to bet there might be a pet in the mix as well. You are serving and ministering contantly if you are a virturious wife and mother. We tend to look a serving God in a limited matter and He's to GREAT & VAST to put in our little boxes with neat little labels. Who will replace you as a mother to your children if something were to happen to incapacitate you? How comfortable are you with your answer? If your children are old enough let them take on more responsibilities around the house or running errands. I come from a family with 6 other siblings and my Mom did everything, and from experience it's much more fulfilling to know how to do things for yourself: like cook a fews things, shop for goceries, sew a seam, write a check to pay a bill, these are life skills your children need. Make a date to spend time with your husband, once a week or once every two weeks. Go ahead and pick a day, lunch or dinner + ??. And Cherish the time you spend together, treasure it, value it, take pleasure in it, esteem it. Don't let anyone devalue the time you plan to spend together. You guys have six children, you need time to regroup, have fun and plan!!!! Stop thinking you have to be at every church service to be a good steward or every PTA meeting to be a good parent, you must know other parents in church and PTA, get the notes, take turns at PTA; a little like "carpooling". Jesus spent most of his time outside of the church walls; we get so caught up in the traditions that our parents taught us, that we lose sight of BEING THE CHURCH. So you go to church on Sunday and a midweek service for instructions, now it's time to walkout those instruction in our everyday life being a wife, mother, sister, aunt, cousin, girlfriend, a neighbor, etc. Keep a count of the Souls you've won for Christ, He says in Proverbs 11:30
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise.
Do you see life when you look at the lives you are touching? Good, find some that need that gentle touch and just take it one day at a time.

Hi W.,
I am so sorry you don't have the time to relax. one place that i know of is a good spa called thousand waves which offer one of the most inexpensive spa packages around. Also the Banner institute down town offers student massages for 25 for a 50 minute session. Also I don't know how much help I can be because you don't really know me but I am a nanny/babysitter I would be willing to offer a huge discount if you ever wanted to drop off your kids for the afternoon. I am also a spiritual and nuturing person. I attend willow creek chicago church and have excellent references if you are ever interested. And I have a lot of experience with lots of children I am the oldest of 6. I would say I am available up until july 15 then I am taking a break until after my baby is born and will probably start up again in september. you will be in my prayers.

Don't know if it will help, but have you tried magnesium supplements?

I had extra heart beats during this last pregnancy and my doctor prescribed 250 mg of magnesium to start. I ended up having to take one in the morning and one at night to get rid of the condition. The doctor said my electrolytes were out of balance.

I told my friend about it and she said she takes it for migranes. I do believe she takes it everyday because herr migranes are so frequent.

Not sure of the ages of your little ones. But, if the older ones are able maybe you can recruit them for some help so that you can take a breather.

Also, tell your husband that you need one day a month on a weekend for YOU. That's not that much to ask. It doesn't take much extra cash to get out with a sister, friend, Mom for a few hours. Heck if you have a laptop, you can go to Panera or somewhere and use their free access for awhile.

Are the migraines due to stress or something else that perhaps can be controlled with diet, maintenance meds or even a trip to the chiropractor? If your current doctor isn't helping with them, maybe it's time for a second opinion.

I only have two kids, but one thing that both my husband and I agreed on is that we wouldn't lose ourselves to our kids. Don't get me wrong, our boys are the main priority and 95% of the time we are doing things as a whole family. BUT, he goes out with his friends and I do the same. I play softball on Monday nights on a women's team (and some Thursday's) and he's home with the kids. (He will play on a men's team in the fall.)

I really REALLY think that getting time for yourself will make you more relaxed.

Good luck.

T.

W., in this day and age, we want our cake and eat it too !
with big families, you won't get relxation, unless you put your kids to bed early(7:00)and then and only then could it actually happen. You will have to sacrifice, and stop getting pregnant. Then, eventually, your children will grow up and you could have some time to yourself. Try to get a couple of sitters for 1 time a week, and just hold on and pray, you are a brave woman !

The first thing you need to make sure that you are doing, if you haven't already done so, is do a lot of praying. Ask God to give you the strength that you need, and the healing power that is only in His hands for your migranes. I'm not sure how much of a role your husband plays in all of this, but you need to let him know the stress that you are going through and find out what ways he can give you a hand. If you have relatives or friends that you can trust to watch your kids every now and then, utilize that option also. You have to create a break for yourself and your health. How old are your kids? Is there anyone old enough that you trust that can watch the kids for a couple of hours? If you have someone watch the kids, it does not have to be all of them, maybe just the ones that are small enough that they can't take care of themselves. The ones that are old enough to take care of themselves shouldn't have a problem staying home by themselves while you maybe visit a friend, go to a movie, go for a walk, whatever you think may relax you, but YOU have to be the person to make this happen. I will pray for you, and hopefully in no time your kids will be old enough where the stress level isn't so high.

God bless you,
A concerned mother

Hi W.,
Congratulations on being a very successful Mom. It is neat to hear about your family. I want to suggest that you consider taking a local park district class in yoga once a week or having membership to local gym where you can go at least once a week to have some "me" time.
Being the Mom of three I had a similar problem with having a mission to serve my family but forgetting to serve myself to protect and preserve my own health. I tried having an exercise bike at home (it became a towel rack), and exercise videotapes and then was finally introduced to yoga and found that the whole family can benefit as there are family tapes (Yoga Kids), classes for family and just adults. I have been taking yoga for 7 years and teaching for 4 years. I don't have headaches anymore. The breathing exercises that are part of yoga have helped me.

I recently discovered yoga. Basic yoga is very relaxing and you can work at whatever level you need. You can do it at home with a dvd or video. Check your local library, or check for Suzanne Deason on dvd at Amazon.com. Her Yoga for stress relief is only 20 minutes and is great. Best wishes.

W.-
As women we have a tendency to put others first. You need to make yourself a priority - for the good of you family. You need to ask your family for help in doing this. I have found yoga to be a wonderful relief (I personally like the Bikram Yoga/Hot Yoga, but any yoga will help). I like to go a little early to class and just enjoy the peace and talk to God. During class I give all my stress and burdens to God. Then after class, when I am relaxed and my mind is more clear, I spend more time in the quiet having a conversation with God. I ask for God's wisdom and peace and strength. I have received such peace and insight - not to mention focus, strength and flexibility.
Another thing that is extremely helpful is waking a little early and spending some quiet time with God before the hustle and bustle of the day.
These two have helped me get through some very difficult times.
Also, I will add you to my prayer list.
Good luck and God Bless.
J.

Also, I read a book called the Mind Body Connection (I think). It is a great resource for meditation and understanding what your body is telling you.

Hi i am sorry you are having a rough time. Remember what it is you loved to do before you were a mom and do it! Enlist the help of church members, a moms morning out group or your family members to watch your kids. Then schedule in time just for you at least once a week to get out and do something by yourself. Even it is an hour you'll feel refreshed when you return. Enlist these same people to help around the house. I bet your kids can do much more than they are doing around the house you need to delegate, show them and let it go. Sometimes your house won't be perfect but you'll be sane. Exercise helps me de-stress even if I don't want to workout. once I have broke a sweat the rest of my day is better. See if you can join a gym with childcare. Cardinal fitness is 20 a month and they have childcare. I hope you take time out for you because you'll be a better mom and wife if you do!

Yoga is awesome. You can do it in your home. I've been doing it for over 20 years and have only been to 2 classes. If your on a low budget you can find tapes and dvds in resale shops. Be sure to make time for yourself. You'll have to train the kids to back off and give you your space.

Good luck!

Hi there,

Just do some yoga or meditation. You need only 1o min a day to feel great.

I am 42 also and feel quite overwhelmed at times, but yoga and my water aerobics class have definitely helped! You can also try a meditation CD. Finding some time to be alone outside, whether it's going for a walk or just sitting in your yard or a park observing the world around you is a great destressor too! Take a deep breath and make the time for this. Not only will you benefit, but your children will too!

I don't know how you do it, I go crazy with just two!!!! Anyway you do need time to get a break. You don't have to do the spa treatment thing or anything that expensive. Take time just for you, something you like to do. Maybe go for a walk or take up a class. Something that gets you to just be you. Not a wife or a mom. If you are interested in exercise, check your local park district. Most in Lake County have sometype of classes. Or if it is something else, most park districts offer that. Or find a class at CLC. I don't think it is that expensive to just do one class. Just make sure you do something that is for you!!!

Hi W.,
You are an amazing woman and just like most of us thinks we have to live with this pain. As a wife of a chiropractor, I know that you do not have to live with pain, even migraines. They are usually caused by your spine/neck being slightly "out of place" and thus your body has to compensate, and thus the migraines. You obviously have limited time to get any sort of treatment/relaxation but believe me, you need to make time to heal and thus truly enjoy your life to the fullest. The first few times you see a chiropractor may be longer treatments because they need to take your history, take xrays and educate you about chiropratic. However, after that your visits last only about 5-15 minutes. My husband works for Olympic Chiropractic, www.olympicchiropractic.com, at the Sycamore location but the other locations may be closer. I really recommend this treatment. Please contact me if you have any other questions and take care of yourself!

W.,
How would you like a facial at your home??? I have a friend who does home facials through a company called Kara Vita. They have awesome skin care products. If you are interested in getting together a couple of lady friends and receive in home free facials and sample some of the best skin care products out there let me know. I will get you in touch with her!

I agree with all of the advice on Chiropractors but also sometmes you just need someone to talk to nd an hour to just let it out. We live near Chicago Heights and our church has an amazing councelor on staff and she is free to talk to anyone wheter you go to church there or not. Please let me know if you would like her number. You would be amazed at what just talking to a nuetral party can do.

W.-

Please give yourself permission to slow down. One thing I have learned is, "to say yes to something, is to say no to something else." We just can't do it all.

I have three kids ages four and under. Just recently I decided that something had to give. I was getting to the point that my body hurt so bad, I thought I might have lime disease or something. Some days just walking was a chore. I went to the dr and he say it was mainly lack of sleep. So we made some changes.

I hired a 12 year old mother's helper for $2.50 an hour. She can caome play while I get things done or take a rest. I signed up for one of the dinner assembly places, where you assemble 12 meals in 2 hours. I actually got a new mom special where they assemble them for you. We are using paper plates for awhile. Just some small ways to save a little time/stress.

I don't know how supportive your husband is or how you are doing finacially, but try to simplify where you can. Also try to delagate what you can to the kids. Even a four year old can put away silver wear. Maybe the big kids can help younger ones get dressed. Check out the www.flyladycom site and the house fairy link. It's about getting kids involved in a fun way.

Also please think through your commitments. It sounds like you are just in survival mode. It may be someone elses turn to volunteer at the school for awhile. And while serving God is important, knowing him is more so. Think about Mary and Martha, and who choose the better. Make sure your service for God comes out of a full relationship with him, and that your not trying to earn a right standing before God through what you do. I'm preaching to myself now too.

I've gotta run, the baby is fussing. If you want to 'talk' more feel free to write.

Hi W. W.,

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I would get out and exercise, now that summer is here you have so many more possibilities that cost no money. Whether you walk with your children or carve out some time for yourself. Work out the schedule with your husband, if he is home in the morning go for a walk by yourself around your neighborhood, find a workout buddy (another mom/friend) that you can walk with. I don't have 6 children, but I do have 2, a husband, a full-time job, a part-time job and when I get an opportunity to workout I feel so much better. Sometimes it is at 4 am, but most timss it is at 9 pm. I manage a fitness center and see alot of parents who need to carve out that time for themselves, they looked stressed dropping the children off at daycare and coming in the club. On the way out you see it in their faces and when they get their children they are much more calm and renewed.

Good luck!

sometimes we mothers feel like we have to do EVERYTHING, and feel guilty when we don't. DON'T,

set aside one day a week where your husband comes home from work, and you get to play, rest, exercise, take a bath, go out, etc...

or use the ladies in your church to help.
or let your children do some of the chores.

you say you are spiritual, so how is your relationship with Jesus Christ?

how about just going for a walk alone or with a friend? or once a week take some time to yourself and sit at the book store- again alone or with a friend. My friends and I organize a moms night out once a month- I love it.

Are there any ladies retreats with your church? Sometimes being away helps, and the people around you tend to realize when you are not there how appreciated you are.

Hang in there!

W.,

The way you describe your situation, it kinda reminds me of a refrain from a nursery rhyme I heard as a toddler, something about a woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children she didn't know what to do.

Sounds like you might benefit from some counseling to help you figure out how to take care of yourself better so you can be a strong mom.

R.

R.