Just Reaching Out

Hi T., I know it is not easy but you have taken a step in the right direction. Keep it up and things will get better. I will pray that you find a sitter and a job. When I was at my worst, 3 children and an alcoholic husband, my first step was to get him out and make my way on my own. I did not want to but I went on public assistance for 2 years until I could get on my feet. This may not be the road for you but I want to tell you that I survived. At times I was very depressed but I climbed out of it for the sake of my children. We always learn something and come out better and stronger than before. You should pray too, God is just waiting to hear from you! There is a plan in this.My best, Grandma Mary

Firstly, I pray for your well being. May this new year bring you peace, joy and health. My mom raised three children by herself. She too needed therapy. Please try to find time for yourself daily. A gratitude journal also helps. She had to change her focus from what she did not have and the life she thought she would have. You can do it too!

I send you love, strength and health!

Just keep going day by day. The therapy will probably help but you may not see the results immediately--but keep in mind it is something positive you are doing for yourself. I have a new baby and a 3 year old and even with 2 parents in the house a lot of days are total chaos. Give it your best effort. Here's to hoping all our toddlers and teenagers get through their limit testing phases healthy and whole.

Hey T,
I am a single parent of one child. Although it's just one child, it's no easier because I have to do everything. I just want you to be encouraged. My answer to everything is prayer. God has done so many things for me even with raising a child on my own. He is your provider , your way maker and your sustainer. If you pray and attach some faith to it, you will begin to see changes. Now you won't see it overnight becuase your problem didn't happen overnight. Be strong and hold you head up and God will see you through. You know everything that we go through will and is working for our good. So be encouraged and don't give in to the thoughts of "I can't do it" or "why me".
Hope you feel better!

Hey T.,

I can understand some of what your saying because I was a single mom for a short while, however I only had one child so it was a bit easier. I too did not work I was a stay at home mom with no income of my own. I did feel very desperate for a while and then sought treatment. I do not want to seem harsh but therapy is not an overnight fix, it is not a cure, it is just a tool. All of the work that needs to be done has to be done by you. No one is going to come along and make it better for you. So you need to continue therapy and take baby steps towards making changes in your life everyday. Each step you take will bring you closer to where you want to be. You have to set a goal for yourself. Something realistic and attainable. You will get stronger trust me you are just in a bad place right now. I also went to group therapy with many single moms and that is what helped me most. As I looked around the room and listened to everyone's problems I felt very blessed to be me. And that was when the light bulb went off there is always someone worse off then me. Do you have any other family support? As far as childcare I am not sure where you live but if there is a head start program in your area it is free for mom's in your situation. If you are not getting any hits on your resume just keep trying as you said the job market is terrible right now. Is there any night classes offered at your local high school that might interest you? It might be a nice break for you. We all have to lick our wounds at some point in our lives and then we have to say to ourselves it really is up to me. So don't give up you have four children who love you and need you so do it for them!!! If you want to talk further you can send me and e-mail ____@____.com better it will get easier!!

Hi T.. Just hang in there. You could try looking for city jobs. There are so many different city agencies. Also, you want to keep seeing a therapist but at the same time, make sure the one you are seeing is good bc there are some out there that are not worth the money or time....but keep your head up and just do the best that you can do....that's all anyone can ask for. It's not easy being a single mom...esp of four kids.

I'm on the virge of tears reading your note. All i can say is I feel your pain. Even though my situation is completely different, I too feel the frustrations of being a mother and having the pressures of life constantly on top of you. It always helps talking about it with people you know too-sometimes even more than a therapist, depending on how good the therapist is. If you're situation is anything like mine, friends are hard to come by. So please feel free to email me and we can have coffee. Email me at ____@____.com.