Just Seperated and Husband Left State What Do I Do?

Updated on August 12, 2008
B.H. asks from Lake Stevens, WA
5 answers

OK ladies I need some direction and Im sure you can help me!
My husband and i have been married for 7.5 yrs, and on Thursday says we should seperate total shock, Then calls me Saturday night and hes now quit his job and heading out of state to be with family. So anyway, IM in shock but know theres things I need to do to protect the boys and I. Ive been a stay at home mom until this point.......He didnt even give me time to find a job or daycare or anything.......So what should i do? Where do i go to file seperation? Family plan? Help!

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the wonderful advise!
Ive been to DSHS and they were lots of help and are going to help me get independant. Also got the ball rolling for child support so i dont have to do that.

More Answers

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S.C.

answers from Seattle on

I feel really bad for you!! I know what you are going through! You have already received good advice here and I agree with it all. I really don't know why the separation option is out there as it really is a waste of time and money. If you are going to file anything let it be divorce. When you ask for child support include college years and medical/dental/vision while in college too with yearly increases to cover cost of living. Don't forget books while in college too. Those things are way out there but believe me, I went broke getting my kids through college. Get spousal support too! You will need it until you can get your feet on the ground and while you have a baby at home. My advice, get all you can as you will only have one shot at it! In the end, the best revenge is success and doing very well without him. It is also the best life for you and your kids!! May God bless you and your kids!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Seattle on

Try calling around to different lawyers that offer the first visit for free, ask them what their opinions are. You should definately put in that you want all medical/dental/vision/extra curricular activities paid for by the father along with other things such as school clothing, college education, spousal support even. I went through this mess 2 years ago with 1 child, it's unbelievably devastating! I was also a SAHM and my child was not in daycare and I had to move from a different state back here. I sort of know how you feel right now!! (((HUGS)))

1 mom found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

B. - what a low-down dirty thing to do to you and your children. I really hope that you have some family and friends in this area so you have a place to stay. If you are involved in your church you can ask them for guidance and help with rent/mortgage and bills, also Catholic Community Center helped me when my sons bio-dad ran out on us and I was pregnant. I don't really know what else to tell you, except that the mama before me had very good advice as well. I was on welfare for about 4 months after I had my son, and then went to food banks and had food stamps for my son. It was embarassing to me, and I hated to admit it, but you know what? That's why those things are there. I had worked for 10 years before I got pregnant, and my taxes went to support those programs, and my parents both worked for years (30) and their taxes went to those programs as well. Your soon to be ex also paid taxes. I am a mama first,and my job was to make sure that my son was okay, I had to set my pride aside.
It's a horrible position to be in, and I can only offer my sympathy and let you know that you will get through this, I did, and that things will get better! Make sure you legally take care of yourself, and that you start getting support for yourself and your children.
Good luck to you.
L.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.V.

answers from Seattle on

Hi B.:

I am going to assume that you are in Snohomish County or really close by. In this county you can dial "211" this will connect you to a community information line run by the United Way and Volunteers of America that will be able to point you to community services (legal, day care, job search) and people who can help you during this difficult time. I hope this helps.

J.

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

Hi B.,

Call Podrasky, Shipman & Shields asap. Ask to hire James Shipman - he is the best. I don't know where you live, but they are in Everett and well worth the drive.

Podrasky, Shipman & Shields
3631 Colby Avenue
Everett, WA 98201
###-###-####
____@____.com

http://www.lawyers.com/Washington/Everett/Podrasky,-Shipm...

Tell them D. Perrault recommended you - and if you ever need to talk, shoot me a personal email. You need to protect yourself & your children immediately.

Good Luck,

D.

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