A girl I used to know in high school recently began working with my husband. She was a real "good time" girl in school, so I voiced my displeasure at him constantly talking to her her and being on her job. He chose to lie to me and tell me that he wasnt talking to her at all, then he gets mad one night, and says oh yeah, by the way, I have been talking to her the whole time. I later find out that she told him that a lot of the people they work with think they are having an affair.... He did tell me the reason he talked to her was because he had to work with her.
I think he said that because he was mad. I do however feel you should keep an eye on them because if she was like that in school she probably is still now and she might just think chasing a married man would B. "a good time". Good luck
I feel you, jealousy is a horrible feeling. But you haven't done anything wrong, so you don't deserve to live in fear. Think about it and try to relax ( a little bit at least!). You have to trust your husband. If he makes a mistake, then you'll think of what to do, for now I would stop talking about it (so his ego does not get inflated every day he goes to work) and i would not give her too much importance. Pretend like she does not exist. And in the meantime keep your antennas on. People can hurt us anyway if they want to, there's absolutely nothing we can do about it, but the least that we can do (for ourselves) is avoid to diminish our self-worth in front of them. Keep your head high, do things that make you feel good and look gorgeous all the time (this alone helps in keeping us busy, doesn't it?). He should B. afraid (to lose a woman like you) not the other way around!
My husband works with idiots. I and my husband has said things we should not have just to cause pain to the other. The best thing to do is have a talk. Dr. Phil gave GREAT advice when he explained to a couple how to tell what is right and wrong to do in a marraige. He said that if you can go home and tell your spouse , than it's probably okay to do. BUT, if you know you can't tell you spouse something than you know it IS wrong. This is very basic and simple. Everyone know where the line is in a marriage. It is a choice, not stupidity or a mistake if they cross it. It is a choice. Good luck to you both. We all here know how it is to talk to a man. May God B. with you.
With Love, J.
It sounds like you may have jumped the gun with your suspiciouns right from the get go based on your past experience with this woman. It may well B. warranted but, at the same time, if you were secure in your marriage from the get go, this woman could not possibly threaten that. My husband used to B. really jealous and try to order me not to speak to a particular person or two. I did not respond well to that. I almost wanted to talk to those persons just in spite because I don't like being treated like someone who is easily influenced to do something wrong. I am a strong committed person in this marriage and I deserve to B. treated like such until I do something to dramatically change that. So what if she was a party girl in high school, so what if she has a thing for your hubby, if he loves you then none of that matters. It is awful to B. with someone who is insecure and jealous. I know, I have been on the other side of it from you. Dealing with that makes you feel like you have to lie just to come in the door because so many wierd restrictions have been unwilling placed upon you. Relax. It will B. obvious when he has done something wrong then you can get up in arms about something. don't order him around based on your insecurities. Give him enough rope to hang himself. We cannot have true lasting love on a leash and when we try to control someone's free will, then, how do we know they freely love us?
I feel you on that,I hate being lied to as well...If he's talking to her then chances are things are going to start where they don't need to start...It sounds like she's a homewrecker!!! And maybe he's not wanting anything with her,but in the same respect if he didn't then why would he lie to you about talking to her??? Listen my sisters b/f is doing the same thing to her...He goes on all these dating sites and tries to meet other women and tells her they are just business people...She actually called one of them and talked to her and the woman told her he was trying to get her to go out with him and get a room for the night...So you see that's why I said if he didn't want anything with her he wouldn't lie to yu about it...Men are dogs in every sense of the word...They lie,cheat,and when they are caught they try so hard to make-up but sometimes it's too late...Good luck and let me know how it turns out...A.
Something's fishy about his story.
First he lies to you about not talking to her them fesses up.
Do you know for sure that this girl is starting trouble at work or the subject of "affair" rumors? Because he told you? Remember now, he's lied to you before so it's possible he's not only lying to you, but to her, too. He's probably lying ABOUT her, too, to the people at work.
Have you talked to the woman at work or met up with her at all? Is it possible to do this in a neutral place (public) to get the real story? Take a reliable friend with you. You absolutely have to remember that people change and that there are ALWAYS 2 sides to every story.
B. reasonable with her and you might find out a few things that you weren't aware of. If you talk with her and get the impression that she's trouble, then there's your chance to defend your marriage to the enemy.
Always confront head-on if it means your marriage. Many marriages suffer because of "what if..." or "maybe (this or that).." without knowing the REAL truth from ALL parties. Never ever assume you know the truth without hearing it first hand from ALL parties involved.
Hi, first I'd like to say GREAT JOB on the honesty thing. Me and my husband are the same way but can never find anyone else as honest as us, everyone claims to B. an honest person but being a true honest person takes true work especially when your being honest to people who usually lie out of habit. As for your husband, I know that if he's already lied to you, then there's already room for concern, especially since its about another female. I thank myself and god everyday for finding a husband that is totally honest with me and thinks before he reacts.I don't see a way to get your husband to stop being around her unless he can do something different where he works that is away from her and from the sounds of things he may refuse to even do that. Guys love attention, especially from a girl they think is easy.I say try and talk with him and try to express your concern and see if that gets you anywhere, if not then if I was in your situation (this is just me). Id go to the women personally and let her know that if other people are thinking they have an affair going on then they are crossing lines which shouldnt B. crossing and let her know that she's stepping on your toes and to back off. You dont have to B. rude about it but being the honest and upfront type of person I am I'd have no problem nor would I think twice about letting my husband know that if he didnt nip the crush in the bud I would B. glad to do it for him. My husband had a young girl who was 16 try and flirt with him at work...he told me and asked me how to blow the young girl off nicely and he tried to rid himself of her but she kept trying to gain an attachment, one day I called him at work (the women who work there know me and him personally and all know who i am when I call) but the 16 yr old picked up and i asked to speak to my husband and she said "who are you? and what do you want with him?" I said this is his wife without trying to sound ticked off...didnt want to jump to conclusions....well she responded with "Ok, so what do you want with him". Oh boy that got me hot! I told my husband that it was time to stop being nice and time to put her in her place....he was hesititant so I decided that it was enough, I went up there kids and all and I stood in front of her and in the most calm way I could I told her who I was and told her that I get that she has a crush on my husband but that it was time for her to move on and that I expected respect from her.Even after that it took my husband reminding this girl she was a child and that he was happily married and not in the least bit interested for her to become offended enough to leave him B.. Hopefully yours wont B. as hard to peel off. lol
I believe whole heartedly in forever marriage...till death do us part...for better and worse...all that stuff. I know it's hard. Just remember we have all lied about something in our lives. Not one of us is perfect. I have been married for over 17 years and have had issues like this. I feel it is my duty as his wife to trust and love him. If he screws up, I am to forgive him, just as he is to forgive me if I screw up. Communication is key. Talk talk talk talk and then talk some more (not nag). Tell him how all this makes you feel. If he has actually cheated on you, that's a whole seperate issue that only you and he can figure how to deal with. I wish you the best of luck!
B. patient and loving with him and make sure he understands your stance on lies. Ask him to honor you and your marriage vows by not paying attention to other women. Sometimes we say things just to hurt the other party when we are mad- but dont' take the lie lightly- It doesn't sound like you are.
