L Year Old to Attached to Me

My son went through similar issues and still does today and he is close to 3. My experience was that this behavior usually stemmed from something going on: a new developmental milestone for him: new tooth, walking, starting preschool, etc, something new for me: pregnancy, working, new baby, etc. my best advice is to keep leaving him to play or be on his own (supervised by someone else) and he will become used to you leaving and coming back. The crying tended to be around his concern that Mommy was not going to come back. I would do short leave and come back trials to help him adjust, like go to the bathroom for 5 mins come back and say "see Mommy always comes back". I know it is exhausting and perhaps you never wanted to be so popular :), but I promise the best way to help him is to keep conditioning him that you need to leave or separate from him from time to time and you will come back and he can be on his own or with someone other than Mommy. It gets better - I swear! Good luck!

At different ages kids have separation anxiety and it is very normal. They don't understand that you are coming back. Play hide and seek games with him and wait longer and longer to find you (start out with a few seconds and gradually increase the time you "hide").

My son was the same way, I couldn't walk from the living room to the kitchen without bringing him because he would freak out. And forgot trying to use the bathroom without bringing him, the bathroom door was was the most hated object in our home. I started playing peek a boo and then hiding under the blankets and letting him find me. We played hide and seek as soon as he walking, I would hide behind the door of the bedroom and let him find me and then jump out and laugh and say boo! and he caught onto the game really quickly. Now he is 2 1/2 and we play hide and seek on a regular basis, going from room to room, hiding behind doors, in closets and behind furniture. Alot of times he will tell me "HIDE!" when he wants to play. Besides teaching him that I will be back, it is a great game for the two of us and we both have a lot of fun. I know some people will frown on playing in the house, but I don't.

He still cries when i leave for the day to go to work or if I am leaving in the car and he can't go, but I can walk around the house without him screaming his head off. He has to learn to trust you will be back and it will take some time. Just make a game of it and he will love having you "disappear" as long as you reappear!

This is perfectly normal for his age and he will grow out of it. My suggestion is to be sensitive but don't be afraid to let him cry a little. At around this age my daughter would cry to get help with just about anything and initially I would help her but my brother suggested that I should let her cry a little and allow her to figure out how to do things on her own. I did this for a short time and I was surprised how quickly she was able to stand up on her own, climb onto the couch, etc. As far as leaving the room, if you are alone with your son, talk to him while you are in the other room to let him know you are still there and will be right back. If someone else is there that he knows and is comfortable with, let him cry and instruct the other person to provide other activities for your son to distract him like toys or books. Once my daughter got busy doing something else she was OK with me being gone. Hope that helps!

This is normal..........I remember that I couldn't even rotate laundry 20ft away without my youngest feeling as if I was "leaving him". He son HAD to go with me.........even into the bathroom!

To try to ease his "mommy-itis" (as my hubby called it), I began talking to him WAAAAYYYY too much :O) Even in a sing-songy way .........I would say, "ok...mommy has to check the washer machine........let's go see the washer machine....(then as i walked down the short hall I would say) I'm almost to the washer.....oh I'm here yaaay! Ok, I'm putting the clothes in the dryer..............." ANYWAY my point is, I spoke my EVERY action when I was walking away for just a moment. This way my son could get used to hearing my voice and feel as if he was right there with me.. That was a HUGE start to ending this phase, but even then it took along time to get through it.......

This takes alot of patience during those moments, I remember. But try to look at it as a compliment to you as a mother :O) You've created a very loving and safe environment for him...........he simply loves you and wants you with him always :O) You make him feel secure with your presence .

Like everything, this too will eventually pass with your love and patience :O)

~N. :O)

Separation anxiety is a completely normal, healthy developmental stage, and it peaks between 11 and 13 months. It is a good sign, meaning that your child is very attached to you and trusts you, and misses you when you are not there. I know it's a trying stage, but just keep reassuring your child that you are there and you won't leave. When you must leave the room, either take your child with you, or try turning it into a game of peek-a-boo. That actually helped my son a lot when he was that age. I would tell him, "Where's mommy?" in a playful voice before I walked out, do whatever I needed to do very quickly, then come back and say, "Here I am!" Usually he would laugh instead of cry. Good luck!

Mine did the same thing at 1 year. He's a lot better now (still does it a little bit but not as bad) now that he's 14 months old. You just have to do leave them for short periods of time. They are with us all the time. I'd either leave for a quick 30 mins to the store or gym . When I'd return I'd say " I'm home.". I'd also go out the garage door to take out the trash while hubby was in the living room w/the baby (he'd cry of course) but I'd soon return through that same door and say "I'm back!". Same thing with going to the back of the house when husband was home to watch him. I'd go back there to take a shower, put away laundry or take 20 mins to myself. Again he'd cry for a few mins until my husb entertained him then when I returned I'd say "I'm back.". The quicker, shorter more frequent times helped. Try to detract him with a toy when you're home by yourself with him. Sometimes when I'd come back, I'd tell him: "See, I was just taking the trash out or he laundry etc." They're smart so they start to figure it out. Also, we are their security blanket. We soothe them and make them feel safe 24/7 so it's natural they have separation anxiety . It gets better!

It is perfectly normal, it is a developmental phase called separation anxiety. Be kind and reassuring and have patience. He is learning that you still exist in the world when you are out of sight:) It is a good sign if he gets upset when you leave, it means that he has built a healthy attachment to you:) Have patience, it will be over before you know it:)

Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if nothing at all happened to him and it's a phase. Not to discount Marda's advice in any way - all of those things are VERY important to consider and could easily explain the change in him. However, my daughter went through this same thing at about 13 or 14 months and still has her days with her attachment to mommy. It is much, much, much "worse" on days she is tired. We have a very regular sleeping routine and when she doesn't have off days, she seems fine with letting me get things done around the house, etc. I second Marda's advice on a routine - it makes such a huge difference for my daughter.

In the meantime, ride it out... It's hard, I know... Frustrating and exhausting. But, for whatever reason, he needs you to reassure him that you're there for him right now, always. If there is no event that caused this, it will pass and he will become more secure without you for longer periods of time. At this stage, you could even start letting him "help" you with chores. Haha, takes forever, but they love it. I let my daughter "fold" socks and washcloths. She's 20 months now and can actually kind of fold! :)

It's been my experience that all kids go through this phase at one time or another. It goes away as they get more accustomed to figuring out that being out of sight doesn't mean you are "gone".
The funny thing is that little kids can hide behind a blanket and because they can't see you....they believe you can't see them either.
I agree with talking to them...Mommy is going to put laundry in and I'll be right back. Mommy is going in the bathroom and closing the door for a second but I'll be right back. It won't hurt him to cry while you have to be in the bathroom. It may upset him, but sometimes mommies have to do things that only two arms will accomodate. This type of separation anxiety usually doesn't last very long and if you have a daddy that can help with the child while you do what is necessary, it really makes it easier.
It's frustrating, but there is nothing wrong in my opinion. You can work through it and just be reassuring that unloading the dishwasher doesn't mean you have forgotten you have a kid.
Just keep working at it and it will be fine. You may notice another phase of this around 2 years old as well once they want a little more independence of their own. It's just stages and I'm sure it will be fine.

It's my guess that something has happened to cause him to be more anxious. Have you had any changes such as a pregnancy, separation, move, fighting, job change, child care change, someone dying, that sort of major thing? Or some change that feels minor to you but not to your baby? Has he seen or heard a scary TV program or movie?

Has he been cared for by someone besides you and is it possible that he witnessed or was a victim of something that increased his anxiety?

Often our babies are strongly affected by situations that we take for granted as being OK. Your son is totally dependent on you for his very life. Because of that he has the ability to sense things that we might not.

The way that I would handle this is to give him the attention he needs. Take him with you when you leave the room. Don't wait for him to cry. Hold him when he asks and when he doesn't. Include him in whatever you're doing. Perhaps put him in his high chair near you while you're doing the dishes or the laundry and then talk to him.

You won't be spoiling him when you give him the attention that he needs. Since this is new behavior he is telling you he needs reassurance. Once his sense of security returns he'll stop most of this behavior.

It's a good idea to cut back on your housework for a short period of time so that you can give him extra attention without feeling stress yourself. Your baby's healthy development can't wait. The longer you try to ignore him the harder it will be for him to return to his more easily to get along with self. Housework can wait for another day..

I went to your profile and noted that you don't have a bedtime schedule for your 2 yo. Toddlers feel more secure when they have a routine. Perhaps making a routine in which meals, naps, and bedtimes are close to the same time everyday would help. Consistency provides security on a physical level.

Later: I agree with Corie and the other posts. This is most likely normal separation anxiety. I must've been in my somethings wrong mode that night. Sometimes my past experiences rise to the surface. :):)

Mine is going through it too.