L&d/anxiety issues/I Don't Know Whats Wrong with Me/vent/

Sweetheart, be honest with the doctor because she may know of some resources to help you in your current situation. It's her job to help you! And your baby doesn't care what you have - all it needs is you, daddy, food, clothes and diapers. Everything else is just fluff. And they don't need that much clothing, really - they don't care what they're wearing, as long as they're comfortable. Talk to someone at your church if you attend one. I can sympathize because we've been in a chaotic situation for the last few years - my son is now 3 and has no clue or inkling. Again - all they feel is your love. You're giving your baby what it needs. Breathe and take care of yourself.

Wow, it sounds like you are going through alot. I hope they get better soon.

It does sound like you are very stressed, and probably had an anxiety attack. But you have to remember its not good for the baby, and you just need to tell yourself to be calm and remember that it could be worse.
You at least have a roof over your head and food to eat. Things will work out for the best, sometimes they just take longer than hoped for.
For the baby things try going to consignment stores, they have very nice gently use things and you find great things. Also try online places like craigslist.com. I find things there alot and in good condition.

As far as friends mommy and me groups are amazing! Ask your doctor if they know of any local groups. You might find a new friend at the doctors waiting room too. Never know.

Take time to relax for yourself and for the babys sake. Im sure your new doctor wont think your crazy. You are just in a new situation and still adjusting. Give yourself some credit girl. Things will work out, just trust :) In the end you have to remember that you have people who love you and you will soon have a wonderful little baby and things will be great.

Good luck on everything and hope it all works out.

I'm so sorry to hear about the potential health issues you have. THAT is certainly scary for you. Taking care of those issues and yourself is the most important thing to do right now - and your body will, in turn, take care of the baby. I have no words of wisdom about that but send good luck wishes your way.

Furthermore, I am the most ridiculously organized planner in the world. I was so anxiety ridden about having everything ready before the arrival of my first and, guess what? It didn't matter. Nothing I had so meticulously prepared mattered at all. Really. My daughter needed me, a few clothes and diapers. All of the decorating and equipment and bottles.... she didn't need it, didn't notice it and didn't want it. All of the 'chaos' you feel around you? If your son has your warm arms to hold him tight, you to feed him and Dad to support the two of you, you're golden! If he feels your love and is taken care of, you could be living in an actual zoo and it simply wouldn't matter. He won't remember. He will feel your love.

I hope that doesn't all sound preachy or crazy. I learned the hard way as I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off. Believe me, I was calmer when the 2nd made her arrival :) I hope your health issues turn out to be non-issues and that you can happily await the arrival of your little man :)

You have a TON on your plate right now. Since you are paying for insurance, use the heck out of it and find a good therapist. Meet with he/she once a week if you can. Sometimes talking through things with someone helps you figure them out, or at least worry about them less.

NO ONE would be able to handle all of the things you are going through right now without some tears and anxiety. Also, no one can be expected to handle these things on their own. Make sure to ask for help. Take advantage of any programs that are in your community. If you go to church, see if there are support groups or services they can provide you. The foodshelf is there for those in need. If you have time, look for consignment baby sales and see if you can volunteer your time in exchange for credit for baby items you think you will need.

Be honest with your new OB, they will need to know that you have these huge stressors in your life in order to treat you and monitor baby. They are not there to judge you and could maybe even offer you assistance (or at least a reference to a good therapist, those are hard to find!). Also, if this OB isn't GREAT, find another that is. They ARE out there.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Give yourself a break. And don't worry so much about what others think of you, we all have been in hard situations and in this economy, we ALL are a pink slip away from being in a very hard situation. Try to think with a "cup half full" mentality. You have family that is willing to help you. Your hubby has a job! with insurance (that they will pay premium for someday)! You are going to be a mom!! and remember the Beatles were right... Love is all you need!

first.. just worry about the baby.. don't worry about the other things... You can call a church.... or something like that to get some of the things you need. Thrift shops... or sometimes their are moms clubs that have baby stuff they want to give away.. so don't worry about that. I didn't have anything for my baby because I had miscarried so many times.. that i just couldn't bring myself to get the stuff i needed. the night i went into labor.. we went and bought the crib for someone on line.. it was beautiful but also not expensive... we got a carraige a few weeks after he was home.. and the only thing you really need is a few outfits, some diapers and formula.. and a car seat.. check out the WIC program.. i think it stands for women infants... you can get stuff from the them.. like coupons for free formula, ... other things.. if you are still at the friends house when the baby is born.. so what.. it will be ok. Having a baby is scarey... my oldest is in High School.. and now I'm really worried... its scarey.. but kids are wonderful.. You will be a great mom. I have had panic attacks but never passed out... but it is so stressful.. tell the Dr. how you are feeling.. all of it.. write it down... she or he can help. Good luck... give that baby a big kiss from all of us moms....

Hello Am111,
Congrats on your pregnancy! Be assured the baby doesn't care how many clothes, cribs, toys, etc s/he has as long as Mama and Daddy are there with lots of love! You already love him more than anything, and that will get you through a lot.

I bet your doctor has already heard all of what you're going to say. If she has had children she may have felt it all before too. Docs are (or should be ) aware that hormones run amok during pregnancy. You've also got a whole bunch of other issues (moving, living with in-laws, money shortage) that would stress out a non-pregnant person.

BTW, buying the insurance, even though you are paying the full premium, is probably a smart thing to do, even though it is painful in the short run. The cost of L & D is probably higher than what you will pay in premiums. If anything happens where you or baby require extra care, those premiums will look like the biggest bargain on the face of the earth! (I truly hope you will not have the occasion to make that cost comparison--but it is true).

Try to reduce the stress in whatever way works for you in your current situation--taking walks, sitting outdoors in the sun, listening to music, prayer, meditation, long baths/showers (if your inlaws are OK with that, and you're not hogging the bathroom--lol), reading, puzzles.....whatever you can think of. If you have a hobby, maybe you can make some connections and make some friends, which will certainly help out. Maybe a book discusssion group at the library?, community choir? orchestra? theater? volunteer work? do you attend church? usually lots of possible activities there--Bible study, choir, Moms groups, altar guild, etc. Yes, you may have to scale back your activities after baby is born, but people understand that.

We moved a lot after getting married, so I feel your pain of not having friends. In Holland Mich. there was a wonderful Newcomers Club. Look for one in Chicago! or if you went to college, check the alumni office for names of grads from your school to get in touch with. There might even be an alumni club. Check also for your husband's school if he went to college.

If you are planning to breastfeed your baby, (which I hope you do--yes I am biased), go to a La Leche League meeting. You don't have to be amember to go. Pregnant women are welcome! and you'll meet other moms--an invaluable resource! Breastfeeding will save you a ton of money, and also helps you bond with your baby. If you feel you are bringing him into a chaotic situation, why add more chaos by having to worry about sterilizing bottles, mixing formula, etc, when you could just put him to your breast when the need arises? I always felt relaxed nursing my little ones, it forces you to slow down and focus on what's important--people, not things.

I hope this helps a little. You will get through this! Hang in there, and let us know what happens!

Hugs to you!

K. Z.

I'm so sorry this happened! You're going to be okay! Just keep telling yourself that! ;) The worst thing is NOT going to be that you're still living with your in-laws when the baby comes. Trust me, you are going to be so tired that you will welcome any and all help and living there is only going to make it easier to get help. I understand you want your own place, and you'll get it, but the stress of moving and setting up a new home is not necessarily what you want on your plate either. As long as you have a decent relationship with the in laws and the situation is okay, then focus as much as possible on the baby. You will get the things you absolutely need. Hang in there!

Contact your local United Way, they can be great resources to getting an avenue on acquiring some baby items. Find a church that might have some ladies groups that you can start getting to know people. Ladies love pregnant momma's, and when the baby comes watch out. People will always ask about the new little one.

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY! Going through a lot in your thoughts for sure. Finances can get the best of anyone. BE honest with your doctor. I have lost a baby in the 1st trimester. They say it was not my fault, but my ex-husband was doing things that really stressed me out. Sounds like your husband is a great provider and cares deeply for you.

Bottling your thoughts and not sharing will make you explode. So talk with someone!! Your husband would be a great person to talk to, more importantly your doctor. You are the protector of your baby! :-)

I look at all the "things" we had for our babies and it's amazing how much we did not really use. Essentials for know will work, while your husband works his way through to get on a normal insurance payment. Which pray fully will be soon.

It's every momma's dreams to have things set up for their baby. It's your nature to want to prepare. Hang in there while this time passes, and in the end you will have every thing on your list. Your very own Family Home, baby room, and a healthy baby at home.

Pregnancy causes all sorts of hormones that erupt and make you very frustrated in your thoughts. If you need to vent feel free to VENT!

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Oh I am so sorry you are feeling this way! I didn't feel this way while pregnant but I do feel it now based on the economy.

Here is my recommendation, find a local church and go talk to someone to get an outlet for your isolation. There are somethings you can't change, your living quarters (since you want insurance...BE PROUD OF THAT CHOICE) and the fact that you are bringing a baby into this crazy world.

You are now a Mother. That is something that changes YOU forever. Nobody else will understand. If you can, go see your primary care physician and talk to them about your anxiety. Tell your husband. He loves you and is clearly worried about you. How soon can you get to the Dr? Please, please, please don't be afraid in silence, it makes the "monsters" bigger than they are!!!

I am sending you all the strength I can. If I knew where you were I would come over and bring you flowers! This will pass, I promise!!!

I completely understand. I am due in January as well. Im a single parent currently laid off. Think about the positives. You have insurance,you have a place to lay at night and you have some income. Alot of people go overboard when shopping for a baby. You only need the bare min to start a carseat, diapers,formula,bottles,onesis,and a bassinet to begin with.

Check into WIC.That will cover formula. The bassinet you prob can wait on if you plan to cosleep. The other things you can find on craigslist.org or even freecycle.org. I found a travel system carseat/stroller on craigslist for $65 excellent condition almost new. The lady wanted to get rid of it because her SIL had a miscarriage. Last week I received a 3 in 1 crib on freecycle.org,FREE from a couple their son outgrew it. Like someone else said living with family cant be the worst because after baby is here you will be grateful for the helping hands.

Dont get discouraged and dont keep your thoughts inside you will explode.

Hi - first I want to say that after reading your first post I'm SO glad you decided to talk to your doctor about all of this at your appointment. That will really help her have an understanding of everything that's happening with you. Good choice.

Also, yeah this board is AMAZING. I've had times in the past couple of years that I was freaked out to the point of tears by something happening in one of my pregnancies, and within an hour I had more advice that I could have ever imagined from real moms who had been right where I was. And nothing was ever so comforting!

So by the way I have had 2 lovely gorgeous babies and now I'm done. :) My son is 4 and my little girl is 16 months. So I have quite a bit of (gently) used boy and girl clothes and baby gear. Send me a message if you are in need of anything - you can have it! :) Hang in there - I think ANY mom would be super stressed out at the thought of living with their inlaws right after having a baby. BUT if that happens, it sounds like it would be temporary - so just vent your frustrations here, and we'll get you through it!! And yeah I understand about not getting into all of this with your husband - it's his family so he'd never understand! :) Hugs!

#1. Tell the new doctor EVERYTHING. She needs to know it in order to get a complete picture of your current health situation.

#2. Be particularly assertive about the blood pressure. The symptoms you describe may be consistent with hbp (or it could be something else) but it is worth examining because it may be problematic.

#3. Tell the new doctor that you had the glucose test but were not notified of the results and to please let you know what they were.

Hi Am111-

My heart goes out to you. I'm in my 3rd trimester and I am experiencing bouts of really bad anxiety also. This happened with my last pregnancy as well. Hormones have a lot to do with how you are feeling. You also really do have a lot of change that you are dealing with and that naturally causes a lot of stress. The only thing that really has helped me with my anxiety has been walking with a friend of mine twice a week and getting plenty of rest. If I am overtired or of I don't talk things out with someone my anxiety seems to get much worse.

I do agree with Dolly. You really don't need that much initially other than some outfits, a car seat, a place for the baby to sleep and diapers. Do you know what you are having? I have loads of baby girl clothes that I need to find a home for so if you'd like them-they are yours. I live only 15 miles from Chicago so I'm pretty close. If you nurse then you won't necessarily need formula. I also found that I used the bouncy seat a lot with my daughter. Those are not that expensive and you can always check out WINGS, Once Upon a Child, Craig's list or Freecycle for some used baby gear.

If you'd like to chat or connect you can email me directly. I hope you feel better soon.

It will all be ok. You need to tell the DR everything. She needs to know what you have been going through that is very important. It is possible that the spots and dizziness could be high blood pressure. I went through similar things with my oldest and he's 11 now. Don't stress too much right now knowing you are going to the dr tomorrow!

Good luck and God Bless!!!!!

Being pregnant you need to discuss these things with your dr but I also have had similar attacks about 3 years ago. Panic attacks is what mine were. You will be surprised at what panic attacks can do to you. I was not pregnant during mine so I don't know what affect they can have on the baby. As others have said don't stress about living with your in laws. You will count that as a blessing once the baby is born. In the current state of the economy it is quite common for families to be moving back home with parents. Part of your feelings your having could also be your hormones. During pregnancy they are all over and hormones are a mysterious thing. Your doctor knows this and deals with emotional issues in pregant and non pregnant woman all the time. She will be a great resource for you. Do not be afraid to talk to her. Good luck and be strong. You have a very precious child you are carrying.

Ok, everything is going to be ok. I promise.

You need to first take care of yourself.
Make a list of all of your worries. Then look at the list and put it in order of what freaks you out the most. To me you sound like you do have things going in the correct direction.

I think it sounds like you are a very practical person and this is not your typical self.
You are used to having everything in control and right now, that is not happening.

It is ok. This is real life.

When you have a child it is like this lots of times, and you just have to learn, YOU are not EXPECTED to have everything under control and perfect.. no one does. Learn to take some deep breaths. to calm yourself down. Baby needs a healthy happy mommy.

Show the list to your husband. Let him know these are the things that keep running through your mind. He can take on some of the worry for you. You know with the 2 of you things are all going to work out.

When you see your new doctor tomorrow. let her know about your health first. Then let her know about your anxiety attack. Ask her for any suggestions. They will not think you are not going to be a good mother. They will in no way judge you.
They are used to seeing pregnant moms with hormones flying in all directions, loss of memory, loss of control emotionally.

If you cannot take a day at a time, take 2 hours at a time in the beginning to get through the day.

So what if you have to live at your inlaws in the beginning? At least you have a place to go. There are families that do not even have that. The baby will be sleeping and feeding most of the time, so it is not like you were going to be entertaining.. Babies do not need that much in the beginning, some sleepers, diapers and maybe formula if BF does not work out.. SO what? When it comes time for the showers, make a list and go and register for the things you really need, remember things do not need to be brand new, babies grow out of everything so quickly, your head will spin.. If anyone offers you their stuff, take it or borrow it.. That is what we did and boy was I glad, not to have purchased all of the fancy everything..
Hang in there, we are here on this site, when you begin freaking out. I have learned so much from the grat moms on here, you are not alone.

My heart goes out to you right now. First thing you need to do is take a deep breath and calm down. (easier said than done, I know) Remember, even if you are with his family when the baby is born, so what. You are not going to be there forever. As far as what the baby needs.....the main thing a baby needs is love. You already have that covered. As far as material things a baby needs....not much. Like many other moms I had everything, swings, bouncy chairs, play mats...you name it. Does a baby really need all of that, NO, no they don't. Are they nice to have, yes. But do they really need it? no. All you really need right now while the baby is an infant is a place for it to sleep, a car seat, a blanket to lay on the floor for tummy time/play time, formula (if you are not breast feeding), and diapers. Everything will be okay. Stop focusing in on what your living arrangements are right now. Be glad that you have family there supporting you right now. Once your husband gets on the regular insurance plan with work, and you guys get in to your groove being in a new place, things will all fall in to place. The more you stress out the more likely you are to end up back in the hospital. And being in the hospital, even with insurance, is a lot of money. The best thing you can do is start thinking about all of the good things about your life right now. There are so many things that you can be thankful for, so try not to dwell on the not so good stuff. Get out of the house, go for a walk. For the heck of it go look at some houses or apts. You might not be able to move right now but it will get your mind off of your stress and at the very least it will tell you what you don't want in a home once it is time to move on. Whatever you do, get out of the house now, before winter gets here. Chicago is not the best place in the winter when you are pregnant. Cabin fever sets in easily. That alone can be depressing. Both of my girls are late winter babies, so it's nice once they are born, you can stay in and snuggle. Then before you know it, spring will be here and you can be out again enjoying the weather and your baby. Good luck...everything will be fine in the end so long as you keep yourself healthy.