Mad

The fault lies with the boy. Don't go over like a banshee (I would also be infuriated, but you have to breathe a bit and be calm), but call and ask the mom or dad if they are aware of what happened. Let them know how hurt your daughter is and that a lot of precious pictures and contacts are now lost, plus he used up a number of texting minutes. See how they respond. IF they are also horrified and are going to take him to task, then great -that's all that can be accomplished at this point. IF however, they laugh it off and don't see what a big deal it is, then I would firmly and coldly tell them that if they couldn't see why their son needed to apologize, then I at least expected the minutes to be paid that he used -and I would find other transportation for your daughter. Kids do ridiculous stuff like this sometime, so you don't want to throw it all away because of a boy's poor judgment -it's all in how the parents react that makes the difference.

To clarfy, you are mad on behalf of your daughter. I honestly believe that if she is old enough to have her own cell phone, she should be mature enough to address this herself. She should absolutely talk to the boy and the boy's parents and try to get a resolution herself. I know you want to mount up and go to war on her behalf, but this is a good learning opportunity for her.

You can't regulate how or even if these parents will punish their own son. You and your daughter can discuss what kind of restitution you would like from the boy (or his family), but you and she must prioritize that in terms with the car pooling.

Personally, I am never one to avoid a confrontation in order to preserve a relationship. It is often only in confrontation that you learn about the people you have a relationship with.

First of all you could have the service to that phone turned off.

Ask your carrier if there is any way to retrieve the deleted items also.

Then go over there with your daughter and politely let them know what exactly happened and tell them you had the service turned off AND that you would like the phone back.

Let them know about all of the deleted items and all of the info your daughter has now lost.

If they do not return it, file a police report.

Then never speak with them again.

I would call the parents and let them know that you will be over after dinner to find out what happened with your daughter's phone. I would also call the service provider and see if any of the contacts are stored. Worst case scenario, she changes her voicemail message indicating that she has lost her contact list and please leave your name and number so I can re-enter. I have also had friends post on FB "please text me so that I can re-enter your info".

As for what to say to the parents- first the phone needs to be returned immediately while you are standing there. Scroll through it and if the contacts are missing, ask for an explanation. I would then have some kind of task in mind that he can do to "make up" for the fact that your daughter now has to spend an hour re-doing her phone. Maybe one of her chores?

Not exactly the same, but my son (almost 3) and my husband spent two hours building a huge snowman in our front yard a few weeks ago. Late at night, my husband heard talking in the front yard and looked out to see our neighbor's son (12) and a friend knocking the head off the snowman. The next day the neighbor walked by and my husband stopped her and told her what happened. Needless to say, she said "sorry" and didn't seem to have an "apology" ready for her son... so my husband asked that the son come over and fix the snowman, which he did and apologized while he was there.

It may not have been a "big deal" to the boy, but to your daughter this absolutely stinks!

How old is the boy who did this? That probably makes a big difference in how you respond...

You should check with your phone provider, the Geek Squad, even places like Walgreens. My son's photos were deleted off his camera by his little brother. Walgreens sent it off and they retrieved all the information for about $35...the Geek Squad would have done it for $200+. You may be able to at least minimize some of the damage. I would venture to guess your phone provider could access the contacts in some manner (old bills or technology).

I would definately cool off, though, and speak to mom and dad about the irrepairable harm this has done with regard to your daughter's memories and ability to stay in touch with people she may never be able to see again. Just stay calm and explain how importatnt these contacts and memories were...if they are good parents they will make sure JR is handled. If not...better to know what kind of people they are, and distance yourself.

does verizon not have the ability to back up the phone? I lost all my numbers (tmobile) but when you can upload everything (w/out attaching to the computer) and in the event of a phone change or data deletion you can get it all right back. I would look into this feature with veriozon who knows it may still be there just waiting...

Oh no! I feel so bad for your daughter, she must be heart broken. I wonder if there's anyway that can be done to restore the contacts and pictures if you went to the Verizon store (or whatever network you are using). I would check that out by calling at least. Technology is a mystery to me but sometimes deleted is not deleted and is still in there somewhere.

As far as your neighbors go, I would certainly lose a lot of trust that their child would do something this mean and deceptive. I probably wouldn't march over there screaming or anything though because it wouldn't do any good (maybe make me feel better for a minute but long term, not a solution). Hopefully they are disciplining the child who did this - what was their demeanor when they returned the phone? I have to say though that I would consider making other arrangements for my daughter to be picked up at school as, if I were her, I would not want to travel with this family any more. Then I would tell them, I'm sorry but Jane is not comfortable after what happened with Johnny stealing her phone. It was just heart breaking for her.

Wow! Sorry I can't calm you down! I am so mad for your daughter too! What a terrible thing for that boy to do. Did he give her the phone back yet? I would absolutely have to stick up for my daughter and tell his parents what he did. He should be ashamed of himself! How old is he? I hope his mom was not in the car when this happened.

That is absolutely shitty!! Are you sure all the contacts and pics were deleted or maybe he was teasing her hardcore about it?

I would definitely go over there to speak to the parents, but how to keep your cool if everything important was erased... I don't know

Oh my goodness!! Such immaturity! I'd be FURIOUS too!!! Your daughter needs to keep her distance from them even if they are new friends. There are more mature people to hang around with. If she carpools and really has no relationships, then she can just share the ride and be more careful with her stuff. People are really immature and annoying and there is really nothing you can do about it. You might feel better by going off on them and giving them a piece of your mind. But it might make things worse for your daughter and it won't get the phone numbers or pictures back. UGH!! I feel for you!!

Margie,

You are upset and you have a right to be so. But you should calm yourself first and then confront the neighbors about what their child did. THe boys obviously need to be disciplined for doing something like that, however, someone suggested reporting to police and have them arrested for the night - that is cruel and extreme. These are 12 & 13 yr old boys and they are doing what kids their ages do, stupid things without thinking. They did not steal your daughters phone, she dropped it in their car and the 16yr old sister returned it.

As for the pics and contacts that were deleted, try to see how many of them you can relocate and re-enter them into the phone. Save it in another format in the event it happens again. Contact the phone company and see if they have any of that stored.

Hope you are able to calm down enough to address the issue with your neighbors in an adult manner. You have to live with them and you sure do not want to ruin a potential relationship for something the parents may not even be aware of. Good luck!

they might still be on the sim card. I would make sure to contact the kids mom.. what a brat!

Phone numbers can be found on your old bills as far as pictures they are probably gone. It sucks but at the same time I have had a cell phone since I was 19 and have never lost it maybe your daughter needs to take ome of the responsibility for this it sucks that it happened but maybenext time she will be more aware of where her belongings are.

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Other people have given good advice on what to do with the kid/family, but I dont understand why your daughter and her friend cant walk home. It's only 1/2 a mile and they're juniors in high school. If they're properly bundled up, why cant they just walk home? That would keep her from having to associate with the brother at least.