The kind of work you are talking about would fall under an hourly rate. So find what the hourly rate is in your area and figure out how many man hours you think you are looking at.
Having worked for a cleaning service and now using them myself, I really think you'd be better off , If your budget allows, to get a once monthly cleaning service that just cleans surfaces, and do the extra detail cleaning yourself.
I say this because I think that hired help is not always as thorough at the details as you'd want them to be. And because some of the details you want done aren't part of most standard cleaning services, You'd really need to be there to babysit the work. I'm sure there are exceptions to this. But ask anyone on here who uses hired house cleaning help and you will hear a pretty common theme.
(FYI, you are describing what I would guess to be a 2000 s.f. home. With regular maintenance, your house would take about 5-6 hours on a standard cleaning. If things are really getting let go (no judgment, just the reality of busy people) and showers and microwaves really a mess then a twice yearly on a house like that would be about 10-12 man hours) And that does not include walls, or windows. Standard surface cleaning means bathroom fixtures, showers, tubs, floors, take out trash, cob web, dust furniture, vacuum cpt., kitchen sinks, counters, inside of micro, and outside of appliances, change sheets/ make beds.)
I often did a standard cleaning at a set price and then stayed on hourly to catch a few details
And please don't feel like a failure. America has such a self- contained do- it- yourself mentality about their households. But hired help for families is common throughout history and the world and you should not feel bad at all. Besides, all you are doing after all is creating lovely clean space and a bit of time for you to enjoy your family time at home better.