"Mama You Make Me Sad"

Eh, she's being a girl. My daughter is 4 and can be the same way sometimes. They really can't understand everything that goes into what we do to take care of them or to give them a special birthday party, and they tend to live in the moment, so probably all she could think about was how she wasn't getting her way at that time. And maybe it's all the excitement and anticipation about the party and being overwhelmed. My daughter can be quite the drama queen and it can be 10 times worse when she is hungry or over-tired. But I think you did fine, because I probably would have reacted the same way. It's like, seriously?

I think it's okay to "lose it" sometimes, within reason. Not screaming or empty threats or crazy stuff like that, but having them realize that the world does not revolve around them, their parents have feelings too and are not super-human, and there are limits to what we can tolerate. They need to start learning some perspective, and be thankful for what they do have, rather than thinking it's the end of the world because things are not always going to go their way. My daughter is not a brat, but she does have her "bratty moments". She decides she is not going to cooperate, listen to me, whatever. Then I remind her that we can make this easy, and life will be sweet and fun, or we can make this hard and life will not be so fun - it's her choice. That usually gets her to straighten out real quick. And sometimes I just gently remind her that it's okay to be sad about something, and then at least she feels heard.

You let her open a birthday gift before school and then expected her NOT to play with it? LOL
Bet that won't happen again!

She's 5. Cut her some slack.

On the upside, she did use her words. I'm sure it hurt your feelings, but for a 4 yr old to verbalize her feelings rather than just have a tantrum is huge.

My daughter always turned into a brat on her birthday. I was over doing it. Stressing myself out and overstimulating her. I would plan for weeks, go all out, and end up with a big mess and a migraine. She would have meltdown after bratty meltdown. My suggestion is to ride it out this year and scale back next year.

She's probably feeling your stess, but can't verbalize it. We ALL lose it at one time or another. We sometimes forget that our kids are not adults and they don't process things like adults do.

Yes, too much excitement. Cut both of yourselves some slack and realize that life is a lot right now. It'll be OK, deep breaths, you'll get through the weekend, get through the birthday hangover and things will go back to normal.

When my son would act this way when he was little it was because he was coming down with a serious cold. It took me a very long time to figure out the correlation but finally got it.

Maybe she is having a meltdown because she doesn't even realize she isn't feeling well yet.

Don't cancel the party but help her learn how to handle herself when she is feeling some kind of way and can't really express it. We all could use some more learning in that department.

Maybe too much excitement. Maybe she's overtired? Has she had enough sleep?

She's not usually a brat, what you said was fine -- don't worry about it. Here's a good thing about this situation -- your daughter had a lesson in apologizing, and she stepped up to the plate. Good for her!

Enjoy the party on Sat. It sounds like it will be fun.

Is this her first year at public school? Start listening so she'll start talking about what her real problem is.
We realized our eldest had a twisted, repressive, teacher I went to the class room and saw signs saying good boys don't______. All around the room were do nots and her room was totally orderly in every respect with the desks in perfect rows. She did not let the kids have work stations or anything that is normal in a classroom.
We took our child out of that school and placed her in another which was open and airy and fun and she learned to read the newspaper in 6 weeks. She went from a non reader to a chapter book reader in the right school that had day trips and outdoor spaces and a variety of teachers.

OOPS put an answer to a different post. Need coffee!

It could be that she is coming down with something. When my siblings and I were kids we got strept throat a lot. My mom got to where she could tell that were were getting sick just by our behavior. She would often take us to the dr. for a strept test just based on our behavior and it always came back positive.

I think it might be too much going on for her. too. My DD is really sensitive and this past week we were at a funeral and had other things going on. She picked up on our stress and was a brat at events this week and totally rotten at dinner last night.

Sometimes when that happens I get down on her level and say, "I am sorry you are sad. I am sad, too, because I don't like it when you act like this. Let's shake off the bad news and give hugs and start over with today." Sometimes that helps.

She's probably just having a bad day, we all do sometimes, including kids. And yes, for some reason, all the hoopla around birthdays CAN make kids more emotional. Try not to let it upset you too much, I'm sure she'll be feeling better after school :)

I'm glad to hear you lost it too bc my daughter can be like that and it's just infuriating. I think it's partly personality bc my older will do stuff like that while my younger doesn't so much. I get confused if I should really be saying to her "I worked all day, got dinner on the table, did all the dishes, cleaned up and I'm sorry but I already did wheelbarrow to get you to the bathroom where I then brushed your teeth. I don't want to do it back to the bedroom!!!! I'm tired!" I feel horrible after I say things like that (she's 7 btw) but get confused bc she should be learning that I can't cater to her all the time yet I don't want to act like a 5 or 7 year old either. I do start off saying things calmly but she's persistent and then will really pout and I want her to understand why I'm saying no. No good advice but you're not alone and if your daughter typically is not a brat, I'm sure it was just all the excitement. My sister has said by Xmas, her kids are horrible bc there's so much build-up for weeks in the stores, school etc. I think it does make sense to not hype these things too muc bc they're young enough to not really understand the parameters and we make such a big deal that "it's their bday!!!" that we probably should'nt expect them to know how much of a princess that day they can be and where to draw the line.

Yup, my daughter started the hormonies at age 5. She's about to turn 7 and it's getting worse. I have sons age 24, 16 and her tripet brothers who are also turning 7. Lord, I wanted a girl for years and now that I have one she's nuts, lol. It's very much a girl thing. I hear the same thing from other moms with girls. My daughter is not normally a brat either, although having all these brothers are trying. I have older brothers myself and an only girl. But I was not girly like her. She has her occasional hormonal outburst and she gets one warning to cool it or she gets a swift punishment. It drives us batty.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

My daughter does this too. If things aren't the way she wants it she will have a melt down. I think it's just being 5 and seeing what kind of reaction she can get from with. Mine will be 5 in a couple of months. I threaten her with not getting things like the party. Yesterday we got a Toys R Us mini catalog in the mail. She went through and marked the toys she wanted for Christmas. She then threw a fit because I wouldn't look at the things she circled right away, I was in the middle of washing dishes so I made her take her bath and go to bed early.

I can understand you being upset. I don't think it's a phase. It is something that you have to get a handle on now so that she won't turn into a brat that no one wants to be around. We have one of those in my family who is 22 now and her brattiness started at 4 or 5. I am determined my daughter will not be bratty. Good luck!!

Aren't 5 year old girls fun?

I would've just let the comment slide personally. Responding with negativity just keeps the negative vibe going. I'm sure you know that, though :-) And easier said than done.

Maybe she's feeding off of your stress, since it sounds like you have a lot going on. Maybe she was tired because she didn't sleep due to being excited. Maybe she's overwhelmed. Who knows why.

Yep....she's five....They are still learning...Hang in there! Hugs!

Easy for me to say now.....but what she said, mama you make me sad is not so bad is it? If you just look at the situation at hand, she wanted to do something and you wouldn't allow. This made her sad. Is that so bad? She was just sharing her feelings at that moment.

Oh and it also sounds as though she was still tired. I would try to let it go. Oh and perhaps even apologize to her, it sounds as though you have a lot on your plate right now and maybe took some frustration out on her.