Managing Two Kids

My suggestion is to just try to take the time each day even if it is just a few minutes to let him know that you love him just as much as you ever have. I am also a mother of two beautiful children and sometimes it is hard but we just do the best job we can. Good luck

I have a 23 month old girl and a 3 month old girl. I have the same problem my daughter acts out. I understand that she get jealous. She has been getting into EVERYTHING. I know she does it for attention. It just is tough, because my husband is hardly home and when he is home he is consumed on the computer with his online game. It is annoying. I try to get my daughter to play with other kids. But everybody is to busy and she does not have anyone to play with. It gets frustrating. I am writng to tell you that you are not alone. Have a good day and just love them thats all you can do. K.

I have two boys who are 23 months apart. I totally understand where you are coming from. When I had one baby it was a cinch but two kids seemed more like 15!! I tried to schedule my youngest nap time around the time my oldest came home from mothers day out so I could have quality time with him. This may take a few weeks to get the babies sleeping schedule rearranged. Also try pumping milk so when "daddy" gets home he can feed and bond with the baby and you can have a little time with big brother. This will be appreciated by all.

Hope you the best
Nikki

P.S. It does get easier as they get just a little older. I promise! Just wait until floor time is fun for your daughter and then everyone plays peacefully!

L.:

Yes, having one kid and then another is a big transtion but can be done. Can you pump your milk into a bottle and allow your husband to feed so that your time is freed up. Also can your husband switch the baby for the bathing time with your son. Also a little crying is not going to hurt her either. I went through this and my second child had Down's so a little different but just take a deep breathe and FIND TIME FOR MOMMY!
BLESSINGS

I have two that are 18 months apart, and the first few months are the hardest. Just give it some time. When the baby is old enough to be "busy" with tummy time, mat time, and what-not...then it won't be so hard. Until then just hold onto your sanity and think about how fast the time goes! Good luck!

I had this fear as well. I was worried after having 3 kids I wouldn't be able to give them all the attention they deserve. I had resorted to 'dates' for each child. Our youngest daughter has many health issues that require us to go to the docs and therapists quite often, I was afraid of the other kids feeling left out. As it turns out they are so close. My 4 year old and I went and stayed at a hotel out of town this past week together. I worked it up as a special vacation with just the 2 of us (we had appointments to go to). But she kept saying she missed her brother and sister and wished they were with us. It was then that I realised my kids do get all the attention they need and I shouldn't worry about time issues so much. They all know they are loved just as much as the other.

girl were in the same boat. my kids are the same age, but my 1 month old isnt who i have the problem with. my 20 month old is being so bad. very very jelouse. i dont know what to do anymore. i know what it feels like to feel guilty. my husband helps me alot too. he is very good with the kids,but nomatter how much attention you give both of them it will never be enough. we are so exauhsted its not even funny. we now see that our guilt got us nowhere cause the more attention we gave our 20 month old the more spoiled he got. the more attention he wants, and the more awfull hes being. now we dont know what to do. so dont feel bad. they have what they need, they just want more. just give what you can and becarefull not to give to much!!!

first off, congrats! my older daughter was just over 2 years when my younger daughter was born so i know where you're coming from, except my older daughter doesn't go to daycare or anything. here are my suggestions:
#1-express some milk and let dad feed the baby! it's wonderful for the bonding between them and also great for when/if you want to wean her from breast to bottle.
#2-have you tried putting your baby in a swing or a bouncer? both my babies loved those and half the time they just slept in them! i would advise against letting your daughter cry it out at this age (i believe the recommended age is 6 mo.) but there are other options to try so you don't have to carry her 24/7. have you tried a snuggli or sling?
#3-let the housework slide! you are a new mom of 2 young kids, you'll eventually get into a routine again with housework, but for now spending time with your son is more important. whenever your daughter naps, spend time with your son. or have dad take the baby for an hour so you can be alone with your son. also, involve your son in caring for the baby. my older girl has always loved playing with her baby sister and "holding" her and helping mom by getting a diaper or whatever. it will strengthen the bond between them.
my kids are now about to turn 3 and 1 and for the most part they get along great! i can leave them alone together in a safe place for a little while and know my older girl won't be beating up on the younger one or anything lol. trust me when i say things will get easier once you get used to this whole 2 kids thing =)

You described me about 6 months ago! lol
My son was 25 months when my daughter was born. She always wanted to be held and I was nursing (still am) her. I had to just get him involved. Whenever I would nurse, I would have lots of toys next to me for him to play with, or I'd put on his favorite show. Also, I let him take diapers to the trash and get clean new ones for his sister.
Another thing that helped them interact, was for me to hold the baby, and ask my son to "Show your sister how you play with your toys" that always got him excited. he goes to a Mother's Day Out program twice a week. It's hard to adjust, but I promise you it gets better.
He loves to play with his sister now, and is very concerned, when she cries, he says she needs her paci.

Hang in there! This too shall pass!

I don't believe in "crying it out" unless it is an obvious temper tantrum....which by the way, doesn't seem to happen as often with kids who get plenty of attention. At 23 months, your little son can help you get diapers, hand bottles, and love the baby, making him feel like he is a part of taking care of the baby and helping you. I never really tried to spend alone time with either of my two girls, not even when they were babies. Even though they are growing up and do have occasional fights, they are very close to each other and to me and their daddy. I think that it's good to be a family "unit" rather than trying to spend "quality time" with one child at a time. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to be able to do that sometimes, but I taught my girls to be together and help each other, and not expect us to set aside time just for one or the other of them. When we do find ourselves with one child or the other at home alone because one is gone, then we take advantage of that time to do something fun with "just us".

I have two daughters that are 16 months apart. What I found really helped with keeping my older daughter involved with me even while I was busy with the baby was to make it our special threesome time. When I was breastfeeding, my older daughter would sit right next to me with a bottle or cup and we would read stories. During diaper changing time, my older daughter would help me by handing out wipees or the diaper or picking out the new outfit the baby would need. I found that if I let her be an active part in everything the baby and I did, she felt involved and needed. I think that is a part of the reason she and her little sister have been very best friends and so good at sharing from the get-go. They never had to really compete for my attention - we just have always done everything together!

I found myself in the same boat. I have a 6 year old and an 11 month old. I was very stressed when my little one came. My son was a little older than yours so it was easy to explain to him that babies need lots of attention and that I love him very much. It was also helpful to have him involved in some of the activities. He still brings me diapers and helps pick out clothes. He loves to pour water on the baby during bathtime, just legs and arms, no head. LOL. Small things like that really seemed to help. Also I do my best to spend one on one time with him while the baby is napping. Hope this helps!

S.

hi I am a mother of 3 my first 2 children are exactly 2 yrs apart and I nursed all of them. I found it most beneficial to have my toddler get involved as much as possible when it came to taking care of his sister(getting diapers,powder,socks,etc)and when I changed her I let him stand near me handing me each item as I needed them. I also felt it important to let him know that she is his baby sister and that he needs to watch and take care of her just like we do (care/love)for him,that made him feel like such a big boy. Being a mother that nurses is great because it bonds us to our baby If you would like that extra time for your son and a way to have your husband help with the feedings have you ever thought of expressing/storing your milk, I did this with my 3rd child so that I would not lose time with my other 2 and it worked great because it was a win win situation for all of us. This should help with the small tantrums so that they dont become big ones

Get a sling. I recommend (strongly) the "Over the shoulder baby holder". I realize that I may be more hands on than most people, but with that sling I managed to hold my baby all he needed while participating with my son (4) all he needed. I was even able to pitch my daughter (9) softball game.

Good luck.

Hi! I'm only a mom to 1 little boy who is 6months old, but my sister has two kids, the oldest is 3 1/2 and the youngest is 9months. The way she deals the best with both is when the youngest is upset or needs attention, she lets the oldest "help mommy" He loves to help get a bottle ready, talk to her while she is getting dressed, fed, just anytime, and it helps keep them close. She wouldn't trade her big brother for anything, and you don't have to feel like you're letting one suffer, so maybe some nite your husband could be the one to prepare supper, and then that would be time for you and your son, and let him "help" with his sister! Just some friendly info...........

I have two sons who are exactly 2 years apart and getting used to the new family arragement took some time. It has been about a month for you now and dont worry, it will get easier. The part of beign a mommy to two sons was the concept that both of them would be happy getting my attention at the same time. Mommy-sharing never deemed to me as possible,lol. When I was carrying one son the other would tell me about his day and we would share a snack or play outside.
A tool that I could not do without was my sling, invest in one. Also, put them both on your lap. When the second child got older, we three would all sit on the sofa, them on my lap, and we would just talk. Remembering that now, I can still feel that "group hug' sessions.

Get creative and give yourself some flexibility. If baby is still gassy then maybe cut back on your milk intake for a while, that was problem for one of my children. Consult a lactation consultant. I am not sure the crying it out idea would be effective at this age, try it after maybe six to eight months when the baby can learn to sooth herself; then again putting her down for a few minutes (2-5) wouldnt be harmful to her either.

Enjoy this new stage of motherhood and know that many moms nearby you would be willing to help too, if we are humble enough to ask.
Hope to help,
M.

Don't let her "cry it out" if this is not for you. As for you feeling like you don't have enough time for your son just remember the baby is only going to be this depended on you for a few more months. My girls are 13 months apart and it was really hard for me too. I have three and when my husband would come home I would go out for a walk with each one by ourselves and talk to them (even the baby). As time has gone by I still take each on outings by ourselves. My oldest daughter and I are going to the Disney Princess Ice Show this April. I take my son to play golf/bowling. And I take my baby to the park, I say baby she is 2y/o. What I'm getting at is your son knows you love him and he knows the baby needs you. He may not say it but he is happy. You didn't metion if he is acting out but I figure you would have. Right now I think it's more think you are feeling guilty and everyone feels like this. Heck I feel like if I don't take my children out every day I'm a rotten mommy. We even have a schedule- Monday's is CCD so we stay home and cook, Tuesdays we go to McD's, Wednesday we go to the park, Thursday's we go watch Daddy play Softball or go to my cousin's and Friday we go to my mother's. How's that and if I skip a beat I feel so guilty. Like Today I don't want to go to McD's but I know my kids love it.

So off on a Tangent.

How to handle two children just give them all your love....

Hope this helps,
L.

Well I also have 2 kids and I had mine around the same age as yours when I had my second one. I think that after you feed your daughter cause of course dad can't do it dad needs to have a little bonding time with baby also. So when they come home and baby has been fed switch kids let dad have the baby for awhile and you play with your son. There are lots of remedies for gassy baby's but you could try the gas drops for babys or also the humphrey's. My mom used to tell me when the baby had gas to warm up a little olive oil and rub it on the little tummy and then wrap them up like a burrito kind of tight (don't suffacate them) and that would help. These are just suggestions that maybe you can try. Daddy can have bonding time with the baby.