my four year old never says bye to family and friends
I always say:
"Give so and so a hug and tell them bye bye!"
or
"Tell Grandma Thank you for dinner and give her a hug bye bye."
He usually does it, if not I just model it (do it myself and with the baby) for him and let it go! It's worse to keep nagging and have him yelling and crying that he doesn't want to! Embarrasing!!
Keep prompting him to say "bye" to everyone and eventually it will become a habit.
Maybe he can say "see you next time" instead.
Or "Thank you for visiting" instead.
Maybe he does not like the feeling of saying "Good Bye." It sounds/feels so "final."
does he say "thank you" & "please"? Is "bye" truly the only issue?
That's a good starting point! & as a heads-up, to the day she died at age 77, my great grandmother never said "good bye". She believed to the depth of her soul that it was not a sentiment she could express! She swore the word was one of the most hurtful in our language. She would see us to the door, hugs/kisses, & close the door as we walked away. Weird, hunh?
saying bye is a social expectation that has to be taught. Just keep reminding him to say bye and he'll eventually do it on his own.
My son had a real problem with saying goodbye. I don't know if it's always manners. He doesn't like people to leave. His big sister grew up and moved out of the house and he stopped saying goodbye - to ANYBODY EVER. Now if someone says goodbye to him he just looks at them blankly or runs in the other room. He might say love you, but never goodbye. He wont even say goodbye on the phone. When he's done talking he just closes it. No goodbyes allowed. This was not an issue until someone he loved left.
I really don't see why this is a big problem.
We used to have to insist my daughter say thank you and when she did she used a weird gravelly voice (we had to hide our laughter when she did this.) She got over it. She's now 13 and the sweetest most polite girl.
Is it really a manners issue, or is he sad to leave? Saying goodbye is a hard transition for most kids, and some express their feelings by not saying goodbye. It's not because they want to be disobedient or rude, but their way of expressing their emotions because they don't know any other way. Modeling behavior and telling a child to do it won't be effective if this is the case. Try talking to your child (not when you're trying to say goodbye). Ask if it makes him/her sad to say goodbye. Acknowledge their feelings and then brainstorm ideas together on alternate ways to handle parting (like some of the suggestions in other posts). Explain that it's ok to feel sad, and then practice saying "goodbye" using the agreed alternate. He/She can even say "I'm sad you're/we're leaving." Good luck!
Mine didn't start saying "bye" until this year. (He's 5 now.) It was annoying, and I don't know why he did it, but he's over it. He also never said please and thank you outside of the house until this year. Just keep working with your child and telling them WHY we do it, and I suspect you'll see a change soon.
That's up to you Mom. Lead by example and enforcement. If he's being shy at the time, at least you tried and he heard the lesson. My 19-month old is a goodbye machine.
My daughter hates to say good bye too. I have "backed off" being too concerned. She says please and thank you regularly, just doesn't like to say good bye. Sometimes, she'll say "see you later" etc. She also doesn't like people in her physical space - so hugs are not welcome very often. I've found the less I push her, the more she will express herself in her own way.
Just model the behavior and he will pick it up eventually.
repetition is good repetition is good (I say that because it is needed for them to really learn at this age).......I like the idea of letting him choose what to say but I think at this age he will still need gentle reminders. I had taught my daughter a few words in sign language when she was young so when she was older I could remind her to say Thank You without sounding like I was nagging her. Seemed gentler. so if he chooses what he wants to say and a sign that you can use to remind him incase he forgets maybe he'll catch on sooner. Worth a try and a little more fun if nothing else.
Please and Thank you are really the only things that make me crazy- goodbye will happen
