Marriage Falling Apart... - Bellefontaine,OH

I'm sorry that ya'll are going through a hard time. Would ya'll be willing to go to counseling? They will have a lot of good tools for ya'll to try. If he isn't willing, maybe you ought to go on your own to help you work through what you need and want out of the marriage. If you can't afford it, are you involved in church? If so, maybe they can help you. Or there are some places that offer counseling services on a sliding scale. Don't feel too bad about arguing in front of the kids. It happens sometimes, just make sure it doesn't happen all the time. Next time you see it getting heated nip it in the bud and say we'll discuss this later and walk away. Hang in there and good luck!

BTW, congratulations on the new little one coming. :)

Time for some counseling!
Even if he won't go--you can still go by yourself.
Good luck!

I suggest that you address these issues NOW rather than wait. Since you are expecting, expect that both are feeling more stressed and emotional right now so it may not be a good time to make any drastic decisions.

I too am struggling with my marriage and wish some things were addressed fully much earlier. If they had I would not be struggling so much 13 years into our marriage...the issues would have been resolved or the marriage would have been over rather than suffering through and now being on the verge of "what the hell do I do now?".

You have had a very busy 6 years - already on your third child, and not a lot of time to have cemented your couple relationship. I recommend getting some professional help to work on communication and problem solving, but also to help nurture the intimacy and friendship that is needed in marriage. www.smartmarriages.com has lots of resources, and I highly recommend several books - The Divorce Remedy, by Michelle Weiner-Davis, and a book I co-authored, 12 Hours to a Great Marriage, by Markman, Stanley and Blumberg (me). Another great website is marriagealive.org. Good luck.

Have you considered going to marriage counseling? It sounds like you both need to learn how to communicate. Since you two have been together since you were barely adults, there is a good chance that neither one of you had the chance to develop the proper relationship skills to deal with the heavy burdens of life, children, finances, maintaining romance, and your autonomy.

He sounds very emotionally abusive and the chances are that he thinks that by disrespecting you that he will be able to hurt your self esteem enough that you won't bother to leave him. If I were you, I'd ask him to go to counseling and if he laughs about that then it may be time for you to consider what you already know is a possibility and that is leaving.

You are right that this type of relationship is not healthy for your children to be around. Never stay with a man just because he is the father of your children. He will always be there father and you should allow him the chance to be in their lives, but never think for one moment that you are trapped in an unhealthy relationship because of that.

Please get counseling. It sounds like your husband needs to mature and you both need to learn how to grow together (and not apart). Even if your husband doesn't go with you, you should go to learn how to deal with his immature behavior. Please go -- you can still save your marriage!