Marrying into the Military/relocating Child

You need to talk to a lawyer first.

If you don't get this done the right way, regardless of how bad of a parent he is --- he is still the father and the courts will stand by him because you up and left and did not do it right.
The father can call the police and tell them that you kidnapped the child and left the state and they will come and look for you. They might take her away from you for awhile, while they are trying to figure everything out.

I wish you the best of luck with this.

Congratulations on your up coming marriage.

God Bless you all.

Lawyer up. It may be very VERY easy, it may get complicated. You MAY also qualify for JAG/ legal aid... so have your fiance (husband?) check into that for you.

All my best,
R

I just married into the military myself. I am expecting my first child as well, but in your case your daughter is much better off moving with you and your new husband. Get a lawyer and make custody agreements. There is nothing in the law that says he can make you stay just because that's his daughter. You have no custody papers or anything right now saying you can't do anything. And if he's an unfit parent like you say the judge will never rule in his favor. Most likely the judge would tell him he would have to come to you to see his daughter. (I was in the same situation with my mom when I was younger except the military part. my dad was an unfit parent as well.) Yes you can move before you are married but it would be best to wait until you are married because then you and your new husband will start getting what's called BAH which is a housing allowance if you two chose to live off base, but on base you won't have BAH, but you will have to wait until a house on base become available. Are you familiar with military stuff? If you aren't I'd be happy to give you some information. My name is A. and my email is ____@____.com feel free to email me anytime. Hope everything works out for you. :)

Is the bio-father on her birth certificate? If he is then he can definitely fight you taking her out of state until she turns 18. If not then he's going to have to prove paternity in order to have any rights to your daughters whereabouts. If he's an "unfit" parent then its going to be even more of a struggle on his part. I would definitely talk to a lawyer about your rights as a mom if you do not have any written or legal agreements with him concerning her.

You need to contact a lawyer, maybe more than one for a consultation. Talk with people and get recommendations from people who have been in the same or similar situations. You can call the bar and get referrals. You should be able to get free 15 minute consultations, I would hope many lawyers still do this. If you feel you can't trust the lawyer you are talking with, leave and find someone else. Remember they work for you, don't let someone pressure you into something you don't want.

Kat

An attorney will usually give a free consult-I suggest talking to one. I moved from Ohio to SC and went to court 1 year before marriage and due to delays and arguments the case did not settle until 1 week before the wedding. I had to agree to pay all transport cost for my child to travel to Ohio to see his father-a big expense- but whenever schools,etc.asked for custody papers-mine were legal-no problems.

Well, I would say if he won't let you go then if you move without an agreement he could file charges - he would have to prove paternity and stuff...

If he's an unfit parent (and he doesn't sound that great) I would just go to court to make sure it's all legal and everything is settled before moving.

I'm sure you would hate to move and try to do the right thing for your daughter only to get in trouble because of some law.