Meal Management

If you insist on cooking for your grown children (who should be fending for themselves, by the way), then you need to make them work around when you're cooking.

1 breakfast, 1 lunch, 1 dinner.
If they are hungry around that, they're on their own.

Sounds like breakfast and lunch should be planned around your son, since he is most consistent - and the rest of the family can eat leftovers from that when they get up or are ready. Then dinner when everyone is home.

Again, no chance would I be cooking all this for these kids everyday. They're grown. Let THEM cook for YOU for a change! I'm exhausted reading this!

You are one amazing mom to still be cooking like that for you 20 year old! I suppose that is your choice, so I won't try to suggest that you make him take care of his own meals. Although, it does seem like the lunch at least provides something to reheat for your husband.
Have you considered trying to spend one day cooking several things that can be put in the fridge or freezer? It would take more up front planning, but then your family members could just grab their containers and reheat or take with as needed. You're still going way above and beyond, but at least you don't have to spend hours every day cooking. Breakfast may be the only meal that this wouldn't work out for, but at least you could cut out one or two of the others each day. Also, since your family likes comfort foods, perhaps using a crock pot would be helpful? It's always nice to have a meal (or at least most of it) ready at dinner time!

If you want to cook a large breakfast for everyone - that is your choice but I would make sure your daughter can either get a bowl of cereal or eat those leftovers if she isn't up with you and your son or have her get up with you to eat. Then for either lunch or dinner - your choice - I would make it an easy meal - soup & sandwiches, something frozen, etc. I wouldn't do 2 large meals each day. No reason for that. And whoever is there eats and who isn't doesn't. I would say at this point - your husband and daughter are your priorities for scheduling around. Your son is old enough to fend and/or cook for himself. And for your daughter at 8 or 9 at night - bowl of cereal, fruit, a couple of cookies & milk - just a snack she can get. She shouldn't be hungry enough for a full meal. Of course - this is just my opinion on this.

Yes, teach your children to cook! My son is 12 and can basically cook anything, as long as there are instructions or a recipe to go by. Sounds like you need some "Me" time...maybe if you weren't cooking all day for everyone else, you might get some rest! Good luck!

How old is your daughter? She should be in the kitchen helping you. She should not be so slothful (unless there is a reason she sleeps in so late). You are doing a disservice to her by not training her to serve others. I think it is commendable that you feed your son and husband so well. I think your daughter should be right by your side enjoying the fellowship and blessing of helping you. I would probably have a schedule of when I prepare the meals. If someone isn't there, then so be it. However, your husband should be your top priority. The others can work around his schedule. There is no reason why your son can't get leftovers the day after you make them for your husband.

Personally I think that catering to your adult son in ridiculous. He is the one who should be eating the leftovers and he should be cooking for himself. And why does he need 3 big home cooked meals a day? At least one of the meals should be something easy, like cereal and fruit for breakfast, a sandwich with some type of side (potatoe salad) for lunch. If you have a big lunch, then make a simple dinner.

As far as your daughter, she had the option, either get up in the morning at breakfast time and eat with the family. If she chooses to sleep until 10:00 that's her choice, and she can make her own breakfast (once again, cereal, fruit, yougurt) Or you could save a few of those pancakes and she can heat them up in the microwave. As far as being hungry at 8:00, she can grab her own snack.

If you're making all these big meals, why don't you just make extra so you'll have leftovers that can be used the next day or two days later. This will cut out a few of the meals that you cook each week.

I think its great that you cook for your family, but I would be inclined to let my 20 year old fend for himself food-wise, especially since he is still living at home at his age. If you continue to provide him shelter, clothing and all his meals, he will likely never leave! I would get your daughter and your husband on an eating schedule that works for both their schedules (and if daughter is not up by a certain time, then she can fix herself cereal). The most flexible one in the house seems to be your husband, and I kind of think it a shame the main bread-winner ends up eating leftovers all of the time. Figure out a schedule that gives your husband hot meals for his breakfast and dinner, and everyone else in the house can either make an effort to be there at the same time, or make do with leftovers in the fridge. That way, you are only in the kitchen twice a day instead of all day.

You are cooking 3 times a day, all big meals. That may be a nice thing to do for your family, but not healthy. My suggestion is to buy the frozen pancakes and waffles, ham egg and cheese hot pockets, etc. That cuts one meal that you have to "cook" out. Then, lunch is just that; lunch. It doesn't have to be a big dinner! Dinner should be the biggest meal of the day. Everyone gets sandwiches for one meal, and everyone gets one big meal a day. That would be my new rule. You can cook the big meal for your son at lunch time, but guess what? At dinner time, he would get a sandwich. When your husband wakes up, he can choose to eat the big meal or a sandwich, then later if he ate a sandwich, he gets a big meal (the leftovers from your son's lunch.) Get creative, it doesn't have to be sandwiches for lunch every day, you can do a chef salad, tv dinners, frozen chicken pot pies, frozen pizza, etc. But I would limit your cooking from scratch to once a day. Sounds like you spend most of your time in the kitchen! At 20, your son should be somewhat self-reliant. Let him make a sandwich; it would take up maybe 2 minutes of his lunch break. LET ME SAY THIS THOUGH; I DISAGREE WITH TONYA. YOU SHOULD NOT "TRAIN" YOUR DAUGHTER TO "SERVE OTHERS". MAYBE BACK IN THE 1950'S WOMEN "SERVED" THEIR SPOUSE, BUT WE HAVE COME A LONG WAY FROM THAT! WOMEN ARE NOT SERVANTS AND SHOULD NOT BE TREATED AS SUCH.

Well, I'm not sure what you want to hear, but I would just say that this is enough! Sounds like your kids are plenty old enough to take care of themselves, why not share the responsibility?! It's fine for you to cook, but you shouldn't be the only one doing it, and you certainly shouldn't be doing it at their beck and call. How old is your daughter? Does she have a job? If she's not in school, she needs one. If she's just 'home', she can help out with cooking, just like your son and maybe hubby too. If you decide that doing all the cooking is ok with you, then maybe have a light lunch. Sandwiches that they can make themselves, or salad that they can fix how they like, etc. They are not going to be successful adults when they move out if they depend on you to do all of this for them. If and when they do get out, no one will be there to cook, so they'll probably resort to fast food. Or your son may marry a girl that he expects to cook for him just like you do, which may cause resentment toward you on her part.
Good luck!!!

I like a lot of what the others have already said, but I have one additional thing for you to consider. It sounds like you are cooking a lot of high calorie, high fat, high sodium meals. The way your 20 year-old (and maybe the rest of you) is eating is actually dangerous to his long-term health. There are a lot of healthy meals that can be quickly cooked and taste really good. For example, on Sunday grill a whole bunch of (marinated or not)chicken breasts. They are great hot or cold. The first day you have them hot with some grilled or steamed veggies (and a potato or brown rice if you wish). The leftovers you can slice and use on salads, turn into chicken salad, chop up and make into tacos, eat as grilled chicken sandwiches, etc.). And PLEASE, teach your kids to make some of these things. Or maybe each of them can be assigned a certain day a week to cook, or even a meal a day. Crock pots or slow cookers are great too. You can put beef stew fixings in it in the AM and people can pick and eat all PM whenever they want to eat. I love the website www.allrecipes.com for recicpes if you want some good healthier ideas.

No offense but it sounds like your children need to be making their own meals (atleast breakfast and lunch). My 12yo daughter makes her own breakfast and all 3 of my girls know how to make sandwiches for lunch and get fruit for themselves. I do make my girls their meals but they know how to do it for themselves aswell. What you are doing with your son is not helpful in the real world (or your daughter). You said you perfer a good breakfast but what if your son really doesn't and he does it to please you. Honestly he can make his own meals, he is old enough.

You are a VERY giving mother. STOP treating your son like he's a baby. We all want to give, give, give to our children but you are enabling his behavior and he will demand this of a wife in the future. You and her are not his personal cooks. He's a grown man (still young yes) but he can fix his own breakfast and lunch. We have children in those similar ages and my son has learned how to cook during the past year that he was away at college. This summer while he's been home, if he's awake when we all eat in the morning, he eats with us, otherwise, I put everything in baggies that might be left over and he either heats him up a plate or cooks eggs himself. If he cooks, he must clean the pan and put his plate in the dishwasher or wash. We had one or two little fusses in the beginning but he does what he is supposed to now. Your son is old enough to be out on his own and you should remind him of this. He is taking advantage of his situation with the housing and service! Just tell him that it's time for some changes. This is for HIS benefit and yours definitely. He needs to set his alarm with enough time in the morning to grab (or cook if he wants more than a breakfast bar ... probably more healthy than what he is eating now). You can help him mature in to an independent man or not .. he can do these things himself. If he's working, he can either buy lunch out, fix himself a sandwich and chips at home before going to work OR come home and fix something. I can not stress enough that you need to stop this. You'll be helping him more by letting him do it himself. Trust me, he won't go hungry and he'll figure it out. At 8-9 your daughter can have a healthy after dinner snack of a bowl of cereal with milk. It's filling and good for her.

It sounds like you like to cook and that is great. I would suggest choosing one meal that is a big meal and making the other meals much easier. I liked what someone said about making your husband the priority here. I think you should choose the big meal for him at the time that works for him.

I also have to agree that at 20 your son can be making his own meals and packing or making his own lunch. If he were to move out at any point as a single man, he would need to know how to cook for himself, so perhaps you should start teaching him how to cook. His future wife will be so blessed to have someone who can cook all those things you like to make. :)

M.

I love to cook and nothing makes me happier than to see the people I love eat and enjoy the meals I prepaired. However...I refuse to be a short order cook or personal chef. You can change this if you want. How about breakfast is evey man for himself....lunch is last nights leftovers....dinner is for all at 6 PM. There will be grumbling in the ranks and even mutiny..but if you don't want to spend the rest of your life in the kitchen cooking you need to make changes.