MIL And SIL Forgetting My Kids Birthdays.

Updated on October 30, 2012
B.C. asks from Miami Beach, FL
17 answers

hello Moms, my kids are the last two out of six grandkids on my husband side. Every year, every birthday blated bday wishes.... I call and mail cards for everyone in the family on both sides (never late) should i say something or just let it go? need some wisdom from you Moms. Your input is greatly appriciated.

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M..

answers from Anchorage on

I personally am horrible at remembering birthdays. It's not that I don't love all my friends and family, I just can't seem to get it together when it comes to others birthdays. Maybe they mean no harm by this, maybe they are just genuinely forgetful (like me).

8 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Some people are awful about remembering birthdays. If you want to know if they are THOSE people, and not being mean to the kids, let them know a few days in advance, and they should appreciate it and do something about it.

Good luck!
Dawn

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

L.A.

answers from Austin on

I would just remind them each and every year, 2 weeks before that the birthday is coming up...

Some people have no sense of time and some of us, do not have to write it down, because it comes naturally to us...

Do not set them up to fail each time, instead help them remember...

5 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with the other moms that you shouldn't take it personally (unless you know for a fact that they mean it personally). I have a mental block of some sort when it comes to birthdays and my cards and wishes are usually late, despite all the tricks and tips I have used to try to remember on time.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would let it go. Some people just don't have it in them to be on top of birthdays in a timely manner. Better late than never. If you have a family party, or small birthday brunch or something to invite the relatives to a gathering, that may help. A lot of people will forget to send a card in the mail, but wouldn't show up to a party without a card or an acknowledgement. Even then, it's not about the gifts, "presence" in their lives and events is so much more meaningful than cards or "presents".

3 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

If you're going to say something-say it two weeks before the childrens' birthdays

2 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

I have to remind my mom every year, but in all fairness to her there are 17 grandkids.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Several people have mentioned this in their answers, and it's a good idea - just clue your relatives in a week or two ahead of time. You don't say that they always ignore your children or act in a hostile fashion, so I'm assuming they're loving but busy and/or naturally forgetful.

Your children DO get belated birthday wishes, so you know the intention is there. See what happens when you do a little reminding - "Let's see, what else is happening here? Well, we're getting our plans together for Ava's birthday party on the 12th...."

If that doesn't work, use your good sense of humor to teach your children how to be gracious: "Grandma and Aunt Jean are always late, so you know you'll have sort of a second birthday when *their* cards arrive!" Make it a family tradition instead of a family annoyance. ;^)

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I would have more of a problem with it if it were your husband that were forgetting.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Boston on

My mother inlaw has never acknoweledged my two older children EVER. They are step grandchildren but came into my husbands family at age 5 and 7. Every Christmass, birthdays.......any Holiday. My children were NEVER included. Even Weddings now that many are at that age, all are invited except my two oldest. I will never forgive them for making my kids feel unwelcome. My youngest son is what they say blood related, he gets cards for his birthday, christmass with $25 dollar check. I rip it up everytime.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.L.

answers from Las Vegas on

The old me would say remind them.... and too, I'd feel all hurt about it.. I used to think that IF I was important to someone then they would remember my bday on the exact day......... well, fast forward to the person I am today.. which says.. let it go and don't make a big deal over it (in front of the kids) this way, they don't put any energy into it and think the people being late has something to do with them, when in fact, it does not.... really, it's one's perspective.. your new take on it could be..... hey, you remember their bdays and how cool must it be to get gifts and or cards even after one's bday.... as you get older, you appreciate not just celebrating one day, but it's fun to kinda drag it out... afterall, gives a person a reason to celebrate more than once.. and for me, I think that is fun...

just take it in stride and realize that bdays aren't as meaningful to everyone and that everyone has their own way of celebrating..
and that being late doesn't mean the kids aren't loved..

2 moms found this helpful
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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

What if this were your mom and your sis? Is there a chance it about more than birthday cards? If its just the cards, let it go. Not everybody grew up with the birthday card thing and find it overwhelming. A heads up would save your sanity.
If this is just the tip of the iceberg then you have to decide if this is the point that you need to speak up about the other things you are really upset about.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Chicago on

Let it go. You should be use to it by now! :-)))))

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from Houston on

My kids are 3 and almost 5. My MIL and SIL usually don't acknowledge either of their birthdays...and they are the only grandchildren. It annoys me, but my kids don't really know, so I don't plan to do or say anything about it. We'll see what happens when the kids are old enough to realize it. My sister usually sends belated wishes. She's a busy single mom and I figure it just spreads out the celebration.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Let it go. As the kids get older, they'll realize and they will probably mention something about it always being late. That will have more impact coming from the child!

1 mom found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

Buy them calendar's at Christmas with your families birthdays already written in.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.T.

answers from Houston on

What I do - because I have the same problem with my dad, is put something on facebook, I say "Oh I am so looking forward to johnnys birthday next week" or after the fact I will put birthday pictures on facebook. If that doesnt work I flat out call them and tell them lol. I am through with being afraid of hurting peoples feelings, and most times they are sorry that they forgot.

1 mom found this helpful
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