I'm having a reality moment today while I look at my growing daughter. She is 6. Looking at her long, bruised legs that are just showing some hair, and her feet that are starting to look huge! Her first adult tooth that is poking through her gums. Then theres the little hoop earrings that she is favoring over her small stud earrings, and the attitude and sass that comes from her mouth when she is not getting what she wants. Goodness! Where did my precious little girl go? To my point - I'm starting to get scared of whats to come. First- I weighed her the other day, and was shocked to see 50 lbs on the scale. (We haven't been to a doctor since this time last year). I think 50 is average, but I'm not sure. She's solid, but still small. How much do your 6 year old girl weigh? She eats healthy, loves fruits and veggies, and drinks water. I want to keep her healthy. Second, I want her adolescent years to come easy for her. I want her to keep some of her innocence and have a care free heart. I want her to have confidence and grow into a good person. I'm scared that I won't be a good mother and wont be about to show her the way. Can you give me ideas on what you do to assist in a good healthy upbringing? There are already "mean girls" already at six who make fun of others and my daughter is clueless.She's very loving and sees the good in everyone right now, but how do you keep it that way?
I realize my sentences are running random questions, that's because I'm scatterbrained. I'm trying to make sure I start off right to allow her to be herself, yet assist and any way I can where needed.
My daughter is 5 1/2 (October birthday) and weighs 45 pounds. She is tall and lean. The sass has started and she will often correct me and tell me how it is. I don't put up with it at all. Try and keep communication open with her about everything.
Honest answer? (Many won't like it, lol.)
I homeschool. That's not WHY I started, but it's definitely one of the reasons I continue to.
It doesn't eliminate the growth or the sass or the chitchat about "cool" clothes and what they're going to do when they're teenagers. It doesn't completely protect them from mean girls (or even from BECOMING mean girls), but it certainly helps in the guidance.
Mine are about to turn 8 and 9, but the younger is rather petite while the older is built like an athletic goddess, lol. (And one is fair while the other is dark - they're a funny pair.) Their daddy had better learn to shoot the gun I'm sure he'll be holding as he sits on our front porch, waiting for them to come home in a few more years!
ETA- for the poster who didn't know what to make of my gun joke: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjO9kX4npVY ;-)
Do not compromise your standards.
We have weathered one teen, now a 22 and two at his heels, 13 and 16. THen a 10 year old.
I sit on my dauhgters' beds on the weekend and chit chat about nothingness, whatever interests them.
I homeschool my 13 yo, this has kept some of the influences away form her. My 16 yo is very strong and comes home to tell me how badly the kids act in this new hs.
We are involved as a family in church.
At dinner we say the Lord's Prayer on Sunday and say a Grace every night. We eat as a family.
EVery one of my kids goes to the other's band concerts, orchestra concerts, awards ceremonies, swim meets, soccer meets, etc.
POint out those less fortunate and help them. If it is an older person at the grocery store, someone in the parking lot, a neighbor who needs a meal. Christmas brings many of these oppurtunities.
Read books now that are wholesome and written well. Here I'll get crucified, Junie B Jones is not well written. Look at the Little House and the Betsy, Tacy , Tibb books.
Save some for later when she is a 4th grade or so, i.e. Harry POtter.
Stand your ground. My 13 wants earrings, she gets them at 8th grade graduation. There is no reason except that what else do I give her if she gets everythign when she wants it at 8?
Telll her every day how much you love her.
When she makes a mistake, love her through it. THat doesn't mean she gets away with it, but that she knows no matter what she does, you will love her.
Spend time with her, talk to her about her interests and concerns.
And, at 6, my now 13 yo could still wear some 3T's. She was very petite. My 3 year old at the time weighed more than she.
You'll be okay! I have three daughters, 15 and 12 year old twins. You are in a precious time, but I have to say that I am so enjoying mine right now. I started reading a chapter of a book to them every night when they were about 5, and it has turned into chat time now. We catch up on what's on their minds and hearts. They aren't perfect and we have lots of drama and attitude, but lots of love and laughter, too. Just try to be available to listen, and don't be afraid to have regular conversations about issues that come up. I've had all three of my daughters tell me that some of their friend's moms don't talk to them and they wish they did. I do lots wrong, but they know I care and am interested...and they also know they won't get away with everything, too :)
Good responses. I just wanted to add that open communication and defined but reasonable limits are what will help you both (or help mothers with sons). Kids will push limits, but most will ultimately respect them. Have tough conversations 50 times, not just once. Let her know your values and your support 100 times over so when she's faced with a problem, she knows by heart what's right, and that you'll be behind her when that boy broke her heart for standing up for herself. They want so badly to be "big" when they are small but they're not ready yet. Dive in and play tea party with her and encourage her to just be a kid.
my daughter is older, just a little over 8 already and what you are thinking doesn't go away. She's funny and beautiful and grows in the blink of an eye, and somehow she has a confidence that scares the daylights out of me. She's perfectly ok being who she is, and someone else mentioned homeschooling, and yes my daughter has been homeschooled, but she will go to school next fall and I'm not nearly as worried about her as I am my 10 year old son. She's the only girl out of my 4 kids, and she knows she's the light of my life, and while I don't get her, I have no clue how her mind works, and she's not the lovey dovey kid my son is, she does know that's she is special and won't hesitate to tell you, lol. She does well on her own and will try just about anything, and there's times I look at her and see this beautiful young lady where my baby was just a minute before. Teach your daughter that she can be anything, do anything that she wants, and that her best is all you ask because failing is ok, failing is human and it's what we do, and that when things go wrong you are there and then just be there. teach her that she doesn't need a boy, or a man, to do anything because she is enough, being her is enough because she is incredible.
My daughter just turned 9 and she is wonderfully interesting person at this age, but she always has been! I have had moments of concern like you are describing. I helped raise my stepdaughter, now 26, but all children are different. The one thing I do with my daughter is listen and talk. No subjects are off limits. The book "How to talk so kids will listen, and how to listen so kids will talk" has been mentioned on this site many time, for good reason.
She and I have been both training in Karate since she was 5. It is great to see her confidence in her abilities grow from this. One day I was talking with her about boys and dating, and how she should be "picky". She came back with "Yeah, and by then, I'll be a Black Belt!" That's my girl!
She is 80+ lbs and 56 or 57 inches tall already! I'm small, but her dad's family is quite tall and large.
My daughter is 6 and weighs 63 lbs. She's also super tall and looks like an 8 year old! She's a little chubby right now but that's how she grows, chubby then taller, etc. Plus our family all weighs more than we look like we do and are super athletic/muscular. Her doctor isn't worried at all.
I too don't let her get sassy. She is a people pleaser and generally sweet. We've talked about some of the mean girls and how they hurt her feelings if they say something to her. So I've made sure she knows she should never talk to others that way. I think girl scouts is helping too, they're really good about teaching service and respect for others.
I wouldn't worry at all about her weight, I've had many girlfriends whose parents made them feel "fat" at young ages by being overly aware of it. The number doesn't matter, everyone's build is different, it only matters that we are healthy and have healthy attitudes about the way we look and function.
If you want her to stay sweet and innocent as long as possible, and avoid the "mean girls", enroll her in the Waldorf School down there. Just a few of the benefits of a Waldorf education are: maintaining innocence, actively using the imagination, promoting creativity, promoting healthy foods and lifestyles, teaching children how to be caring and compassionate toward their classmates, teaching children HOW to think, rather than just WHAT to think. It's a very different - and wonderful! - way to teach our children. Check into it. I don't know their website, but it will pop right up if you goodsearch Cincinnati Waldorf.
As for her weight, I'm sure she's fine. My daughter is 48 lbs at age 8. And that is WAY too skinny. Her BMI is only 3% and the doctor is always yelling at me to feed her more. (I'd like to say "Really? Really?? You truly believe I'm starving my little girl??" Give me a break.)
Best of luck! I am sure you are an awesome mom! If you weren't, you wouldn't care to ask these questions.
It will be fine it's a phase, my 9 year old daughter had a sass, talking back spell but it didn't last long when she realized those antics didn't work. She has always been such a great daughter, she is a great role model for er little sister.
Your little one will be fine, I cannot give advice about the weight but her behavior will improve if you don't let her get away with it.
GL!
No ideas here but I am thinking the same thing. My daughter will be six next week. I couldn't believe my husband gave the "ok" for our daughter to wear hoops. I was sure he would not allow it so when she asked I said "clear with dad first"...low and behold he said "sure, no problem"...I learned my lesson!
The sassy attitude is way out of hand too. We are members of the Girl Scouts, last night at our meeting we discussed "friendship" and what makes a good friend...the girls revealed a lot...especially about other girls in kindergarten. How mean they can be. We discussed why and what we thought about it.
As far as my daughters weight...she is just 40 lbs. She is tall and skinny...she's always been long and thin. I'm not worried about it just because she I know she's eating right, exercising, and is growing tall at a fast rate.
Good luck!
I have a six year old too, she's more low 40's but one of the smaller ones in her class. still has a huge baby belly, but i was noticing her legs last week too, definately going to be one of her assests.
I have no idea what it looks like to be the parent of a teenage girl. someone joked about daddy's shotgun keeping the boys in line, but i don't know what to make of that sort of joke. I would love for my daughter to be kind to everyone, but have a small group of friends that she can really count on, I'd love for her to be friends with some nice boys, and at 16 date one more or less exclusively, maybe not forever but enough to have memories of having a hs boyfriend. I'd love for her to be active, to do well acedmically, and to volunteer. I'd love for her to be neat, self sufficent, and personable.
how in the world do i support all of that. especially since she is one of those kids...ha i think of her as a cat, doesn't want anything to do with you until you sit down and get involved in something else enought aht you don't want to be bothered. That's what she is like, I can give my son praise and he will eat it up, I can give him hugs and cuddles and he would stay in my lap for more than 3 seconds. I do'nt get her at all, but i love her. and want the best.
Let me know if you get any grteat advice or just need to co-miserate.
I have two six years olds. They both weigh 42 lbs. One talks back at me over everything (working on it), the other one is still so very innocent. the school drama has already started, and I am working hard to get them to grow up confident. who knows what future holds :(
It depends on her height. I would google kids bmi, and just she where she is at on the spectrum. If she is on the heavier side, honestly think about her exercise, maybe write down her food intake, and evaluate. If she's normal than just go with it. Other than that keep doing what your doing, keep her involved in stuff and make sure she's got some good friends.
