Monotony of Life

Make the chores fun...my husband and i make it a game for the kids. and when it comes to the chores he and i do.....we do them together, that way there's some romance involved, and we're still "playing" but getting a lot done together.

I'm totally with you! That's probably why on some nights I drink that extra glass of wine! I really do try to have fun, especially on the weekends. This Sat we are going to go pick apples at a local orchard, then come home and make pies and play some board games and watch a movie (the new TinkerBell). I try to stay on a schedule for work and for fun, unfortunatly, it's mostly work. We try to do Wed game night even if it's just a couple hands of Uno, and something on the weekends which could be as simple as sitting down and watching a family movie (my kids are 6 and 8) and popping popcorn. My mood definetly goes up and down about how I feel about all the chores. Sometimes I hate doing dishes, sometimes I relize that hey, I'm lucky that I have running water!!! When I feel too piled up on, I take a evening and just do the minimum, relax and have a glass of wine and just watch TV!

Hi S.S.,

I think everybody feels this way at one time or another. I know I do. Wouldn't it be great if you could just take a cruise. I mean wake up one day, look at your husband and say, "You know what sounds good? Vacation." And then just go. Without having to worry about work, time off, bills, and all that. Gosh that's a dream of mine. To just be able to look at my husband and say, "Let's go, babe." and just GO.

I think to keep from getting mired down in all the daily chores of life you have to make a point to take time out from all of it. Take one day during the week and one on the weekend where you don't plan or do anything. Pick up a pizza on the way home and eat it off napkins or paper plates. Don't do laundry, dishes, clean or go running errands. All of that can wait one more day, S.S., it really can. You just have to give yourself permission to have the moment. Then on the weekend do the same thing. It doesn't have to be like this forever, but for a few weeks have a day on the weekend where you guys just don't do anything but what you WANT to do. Sit home, play with your baby, rent movies. Don't worry about the yard, the groceries, visiting relatives, the 43 birthday parties that always seem to be in September. Turn off the phones, the computer and just BE.

When my husband and I were feeling this way a few years ago we would pull the mattress into the living room and camp out all night. We would buy snacks, rent movies and stay up late talking and dancing in the living room. It was like when we were kids and at a friend's house for a sleepover. We would just go to sleep right there in the livingroom on our mattress. It was simple and cheap (all we could afford at the time) and so much fun.

Try it and see if you don't feel better.

L.

I'm right there with you sista! In fact, I just talked to my mom about this and she kind of chuckled and said "Welcome to adulthood"! Blah!

I try to get the house all picked up (toys away, dinner cleaned up, laundry folded) while my oldest is still up. He "helps" me sweep and pick up. This way, once he is sleeping I can finish up the last few things then have a couple of hours to myself. I either go on the computer, read, watch TV, talk on the phone, or if hubby isn't working we just hang out. You really have to MAKE that time.

We also do "girls night" about once a month or so. Nothing big, we just do dinner at someone's house, but it is nice. We try to leave the kiddos home if possible so we can be ourselves and relax a bit.

Can you maybe get a sitter for the kiddos and do something fun with hubby or the ladies?

Yes, this is what daily life is. And yes, the fact that you hate your job is probably the root problem. Now your job is to find the fun in the mundane. Focus on picking up your kid and play with him and have fun with him then and think about that.
And if you do all the busy work during the week then you have the weekends chore-free, and that's a biggie!! Personally, I'm not that organized, and my husband and I do like to watch some TV in the weeknights together, since it's our only couple time after I walk the dogs before I get stuff ready for the next day.
You aren't being immature, but I think you need to shift your thinking so that you think: how can I get a better job? Or you can think: what am I willing to give up in order to enjoy life more now? Are you willing to give up eating out, vacations, new clothes, new cars, nice house, etc. if you were to work part time or take a lower-paying job? If you want to spend more time with your son, what about working at his day care? Could you make that financial sacrifice?
If you like your job, then you enjoy your days, and you aren't so frustrated by the mundane. You've identified the problem, now you have to figure out practical solutions. I think if the rest of your life is good and fun, you don't mind the necessary supporting work like chores.

It sucks to be a grown up. That is our day every day. But we manage to plan for a few fun things here and there.

I would say look into a different job or career you can be passionate about. Also, you need a vacation. Take a day off work and your hubby too and sleep in and don't clean or do anything but watch tv or read. You need a break and when my husband feels this way, we plan and take a quick or long trip. A couple times a year. You can do it for cheap like listen to a presentation (but bth of you promise and be committed to not buying) for a free 2 night stay. Or go to VRBO. com for cheap rentals. Even if you just go to the beach for a night or two, you will be renewed. Just got back from an 8 day trip to Cali we had planned for 7 months so just knowing it was coming up was a boost. Life could be worse like child with cancer or many other things so be grateful your life is a little 'normal' although boring.

My advice is to look into changing your job. I know that this is not easy these days but it is better than spending so much of your day doing something you hate. Really take some time to explore what it is that you love and could make a career out of. Maybe post for us your interests and perhaps you can get some advice on how to focus this in a career direction. Also, there are many books out there to help you with this. Even though it will be hard to do I think that you at least owe it to yourself to try.

When I am feeling like this( and that is quite often as a SAHM with the kids both in school) I try to remind myself that boring and ho-hum really beats the opposite in many cases. There are many people in situations that would do anything for life to just be dull. I think of all those people who have experienced unforseen tragedy or illness who would love to have a boring day. Here is a sight that I go to sometimes to put it in perspective http://callapitter46.blogspot.com/ Once I read her story I want to embrace my life and cherish it as nothing is a guarantee.

Alot of good advice. Just an old saying that sticks with me--- "If you're bored, it's because you're boring!" This puts it in your court to change. Accept that there are only so many hours in the day. Get a little help with stuff, or set one day on the weekend for housework and let it go during the week, make date night, whatever you want to do! You're boring, and you're not going to take it anymore!

I dunno... you sound exhausted to me.

You can daydream all you want, but this is the life you have. Think about yourself. Are you getting enough rest? Are you eating nutritionally? Are you hooked on junk food? Do you ever get time to exercise? Your family really needs you to be healthy and happy!

When was the last time you and your husband went to a movie? When was the last time you two even went for a walk?

Nobody's life is easy, and I think we all feel the way you do at one time or another!

If it'll make you feel any better, word on the street is that lottery winners don't get happier - just richer (and even the money doesn't always last long). So you may as well not think about that fantasy.

What can you do to break out of your rut? Can you change the family schedule a little? Any sort of little change or switch can be rut-breaking. Even taking a different route to work or to the grocery store can help.

Can you set up one evening a week for family fun - no chores allowed? (They'll wait.) Can you set up at least one night a month, if not oftener, when you and your husband can go out?

Can you possibly declutter your house so there is a little less laundry to do, a little less stuff to clean?

Can you take a weekend and paint a room? (That always cheers me up.)

If you really hate your job - by which I mean you'd hate it no matter what - is there anything you can do either to make your job better or make the work time go faster? Employment is hard to come by, so you may not want to jump ship, but attitude can make a big difference with a lousy job.

I happen to enjoy motivational speakers/writers like Zig Ziglar, and I've learned a lot from them about changing my attitude when I can't change my circumstances. Maybe you'd want to look into that.

While you're considering all the recommendations you get on this page, go find your husband, hug him, give him a big kiss, thank him for helping at home, and tell him you love him all to pieces. Then go hug your son, tickle him, and play with him for fifteen minutes. That's good medicine for any kind of blues in your brain.

Honestly, I think it does get better as the kiddos get older, but I have the "lottery fantasy" too:) You are not being immature at all.
In lieu of quitting your job. . . .
Maybe select two weeknights where you skip the "chores" part of your routine, or abreviate it significantly to give you and your family some "fun" time. Eat leftovers or grill out and let the dishes sit for the evening and take care of them the next night or use paper plates and toss.
Only do laundry twice a week instead of every day, etc. Find these small time gains and relish in them - oh and feel free to cut yourselves slack in the chores department while your kiddo is young.
Hope this helps a little.

Every day can be Groundhog day--if you let it! There's always going to be a lot to do around the house but your son is only 15 mo once. Enjoy it, him, and try to live 'in the moment' as much as you can. If it's a beautiful day, pack up dinner & head to the park to eat and play, If you're with your son on the way home from an errand and see something/someplace cool--just pull over and check it out. Stuff like that makes life less mundane. and I agree with a hobby or interest of some sort that you can do a few hours per week at least,

Maybe you need a hobby -- something, anything, you can get excited about. Join a book club, take up knitting, take a cooking class once a week, do yoga, whatever sounds interesting to you. If it's something like reading or knitting that you can sneak in on your lunch break at work that might help break up the day a little bit. A class once a week is great too, it gives you something to look forward to as well as a night off from housework. Maybe your hubby can take one night off too.
This is a tough season of life, with a lot of demands on your time, but that makes it even more important to take care of your mental health! It's ok to take time off, it's ok if the dishes get done every other day instead of every day, it's ok if laundry only happens once a week. When you look back on this time in your life, you aren't going to wish you had spent more time on housework! Maybe there's a teenager in your neighborhood who would be happy to come clean once a week for $10/hour or something. I know money is tight for most folks right now (us too), but little things here and there that ease the stress will pay off in the long run.
Hang in there, Mama!

You are the captain of your own ship. You seem to have made the typical 30 year old life assessment but now what are you going to do. No one else can do it for you.

Try this. Write down the things that your perfect job would consist of but don't include money. The money will come when you are doing something you are passionate about. What job titles or positions fit into your dream job? What training would you need to get to be able to do your dream job?

After you have answered these questions then you can move forward in finding a new job by dedicating at least 1 hour of each day to getting your dream job.

Jennifer K. had it right about housework being done during the week thus freeing up your weekends for fun or nothing at all. You may consider hiring out part of the chores. It may not cost as much as you think. I even let my neice do my laundry when I can't squeeze it in. I pay for her to wash, dry and fold. I give her $30.00 to wash at least 2 weeks of my family's dirty clothes. I get her to the laundry mat and pick her up. It works our great for both of us. I have another neice that does a great job at cleaning. I have her come in and do the entire apartment for $25.00 This means I don't have to do a deep cleaning because she has done it for us. Just some food for thought to get you out of your rut.

oh - did I write this???? I have no advice for you - just know you are not alone!!!!

Read "The Energy Bus" by Jon Gordon. Your life is what you make it. Everyone feels like this sometimes, but your reaction to that reality is what you need to think about. Good luck!