My 19 Month Old Doesn't like Daddy....

J.,

This is entirely normal! Don't worry too much. I know you mentioned that most little girls her age will run to Daddy happily, but I really think you are just noticing the ones that do....and not noticing many still do not :-) Children with a stay at home parent often have a closer relationship with the parent that spends the most time with them and provides more of their daily care and needs. It is GREAT that he is taking over lots of the evening care-taking. Even diaper changing,bathing and picking out PJ's together will help her see that he is there to take care of her too! Reassure Daddy that this is normal and natural, and you take that stance too....she will certainly bond with Daddy over time, but may do so at her own pace. Have Daddy do LOTS of fun things with her (and with the 2 of you together) to promote a good relationship, but don't force the issue or show signs of being upset over her behavior- or it may get worse or slow... Whoever she chooses to cuddle with, be held by, hold hands with etc should be respected so she develops a sense of trust and security...which will only help with her with every relationship!

In time things will change as everything does with a baby/toddler. I'm a SAHM and my daughter was a total mommy's girl...now at almost 3 she constantly talks about how she's waiting for Daddy to get home to go for a walk, take her to the local pool, go to Publix for a cookie, etc. When I ask her if she wants me to take her she simply says 'no, I need to go with my daddy...' It's hard to believe it's the same girl that used to scream and run when he tried to hug her....
Hang in there and just go with the flow!

Hi J.,

I would not make a big deal of it, or it will become a big deal. It seems especially important to your little one that dad be perfectly consistent (since he was away one day and then she balked), at least at this age. The previous post had an excellent tip, to do things together with dad & babe. Then after time passes and the focus on this issue dissipates, you can try leaving them together again.

BTW my daughter stopped caring when Mom OR Dad was home just a few weeks ago, and she is same age as yours. She *does* care but she's just realized that we are always nearby, or soon to be near, and so she doesn't cling to us like she used to.

Hey J.,

I was reading your request and got an instant flash back. My first daughter did and sometimes still does the same thing. But with her she started at 3 months! She is now almost 3 years old and she is still very much a mommy's girl. I had the same situation as yours. I stay home with my two girls and my husband would get upset sometimes. But there is still hope. First thing I do to help (It didn’t stop it all the time but it helped and now she is so much better with my husband) is I make a BIG deal when my husband comes home. As soon as we hear his car or the garage door open I say “Daddy’s home” and we run to the door and I would give him a huge and a kiss and she started to do the same. Now she is a little older and she runs to him outside and gives him a hug and kiss. Whatever your daughter’s favorite time is when your husband is home let him do it. My daughter loves going for walks. So my husband would ask her if she would like to go for a walk and most of the time she didn’t turn it down. Sometimes I would go but most of the time I would let them go by themselves. She would cry for a minute but soon had a blast. Next thing we do is he gives her a bath. Bath time is one of her favorite bedtime routines. She has so much fun in the tub. A new thing that just started is now she begs my husband to read her 3 books before bedtime and he puts her to bed. I still go in and say good night. But for us that is a huge thing because for almost 3 years every single night it was me putting her to bed or else she would have a complete melt down. My husband would get upset because he really wanted to hold her and hang out with her but he would also get upset because he felt he couldn’t help me out. If you need anymore ideas let me know.

Beth

I'm sorry your daughter is acting like that towards her Daddy... maybe he can try doing really fun funny things in front of her to grab her attention. Or try to always include him into your conversations with her. Add Daddy into everything so that she realizes that he is included in what you do. ex... let's make this for Daddy..
Hope as time goes by she begins to feel her father's love.
I'm sure its just a faze...Good Luck !

When Daddy comes home does he show you(mommy) attention in front of Kaylie because maybe she watches the two of you and if your not affectiate to one another in front of her she's thinking why should I be. Make sure she always sees daddy making mommy happy and never sad because this has a big impact on small children, my daughter never heard us disagree or fight ever to this day;(daughter being 30yrs) always ask do you & daddy ever disagree because I've never heard ya'll. Sometimes the tone of his voice might not be warm & inviting to her small ears not saying this is the solution but try talking to her in different tones to watch her reactions to how she responds,give mommy hugs daddy and watch her facial expressions, if she likes books try letting daddy read to her; find something that she really likes and for daddy to do it with her and make a big deal like (ex: If she likes playing outside daddy: ask her to lets the two of us go outside and play in the sand bx or look for birds,swing on the swing set or maybe take a ride to the store for ice cream) (then mommy you can make a big deal: like wow your daddies big girl did Kaylie show daddy the birds or sand bx or rode to the store an got ice cream) that way ya'll are making over her together. Hope that she finds daddy's loving arms...... (just a thought maybe it'll help)Get down to her level and play as a family on the floor, sing silly made up songs to her daddy like: daddies home to see his little kaylie to give her hugs & kisses worked all day just to come home to play with his little princess..... ( I now have a granddaughter 14 months and find singing silly things to her she smiles and dance's around)I hope & pray that ya'll find something that works for Daddy & Kaylie for Mommy's peace of mind too....

I had a similar issue with my son. He was breastfed so he was always wanting to be with momma. Don't force the situation. Your dau is home with you all day and does not want to share you. Do things with the 3 of you. Get your nails done and leave her home for an hour or 2. It is a phase they go thru. The main thing is to explain to your husband it is not him she is just a momma's girl.

It's just a phase. I know it's hard. My son was pretty much glued to me till he turned two. Dad gave him a bath and put him to bed nightly and he still asked for me. Then one day the tables turned. Now he is all about daddy. Only daddy can hold him. I am able to go to the bathroom alone without him coming in. He is no longer glued to me. lol. I am enjoying it as I'm sure a "mommy only" phase is bound to come back around.

I am sure it is a phase. My son is 22 months and didn't want Daddy at all till we started having Daddy do special time with my son. My son and husband have certain activities that are just for the 2 of them. It makes them have special time together that I can't do. My son now enjoys one on one time with Daddy- although he is still a mommy's boy! (Atleast my husband doesn't feel left out.) Hope this helps. Good luck!