My 3 1/2 year old daughter sleeps through the night about once a week. Other nights she is up constantly, coming into my room and I have to take her back to her bed. She has various reasons for getting up...potty break, scared, headache, chapped lips, her feet or legs hurt, needs a drink...you name it! I realize that she has an issue with putting herself back to sleep when she wakes up, but I am convinced there is a reason she wakes up so many times in the first place. It is not unusual for her to come into my room 3 to 4 times a night. She is usually willing to go right back to her bed and fall asleep after I tuck her in. When she is asleep, it’s a VERY restless sleep. Constantly tossing and turning and crying out. I’ve tried everything I can think of to change her sleep habits. We have a strict bedtime routine that never changes. She has a nightly bath between 6:30 and 7. We then read books or watch a few minutes of a movie (never scary) to wind her down. She has little sugar, if any, during the day, and absolutely none after dinner. She is never allowed any kind of caffeine. She doesn’t take any kind of medication. I have tried a night light and she said it was too bright! It doesn’t make a difference if she takes a daytime nap or not. She has always slept with a fan on low to drown out any noise she might hear. We took away her binky about 6 months ago, which is about the time this started. I have replaced her binky with a blanket but it hasn’t helped. I’ve also tried dolls and toys. It is a struggle to get her to go to bed as well. She just can’t seem to settle down and fall asleep. Once she does, she can’t stay asleep. She is very “hyper” during the day, but I don’t think it’s unusual for a 3 ½ year old. I’m not asking for ideas to keep her in her room…I am NOT locking her in her bedroom! I am looking for ideas as to why she is sleeping so restlessly...why she can’t stay asleep. HELP!
I have no advice for you, but if it makes you feel better...I'm in the same boat. My 3 1/2 year old is constantly coming into my room at night. It gets really tiresome. She came in a 3 am the other morning wanting me to paint her nails!!
Wish I could help. Just know that you're not alone!
I don't have much knowlege first hand on this issue... but a friend of mine has a daughter who sleeps really lightly and she uses a tea that she gets at a pharmacy ( not sure witch one) specifically for restless toddlers... I think it has camimile?? and lavender in it.
not sure how much that helps but you may look into it.
Hello K.,
Maybe it is too quiet for her. Have you tried playing some soft, relaxing music in her room. She may try to sing herself to sleep, that is okay. If you try having her watch a movie or TV, make sure it is something low key. If it is to active, it will defeat your purpose you are trying to do. I really believe that calm, soothing, soft music is what you should try. This may ease her mind and slow it down for sleep. If you do try this, please let me know if it works for you. Praying over them before bed works very well too.
Blessings,
T. D
Check her throat. Get a flashlight and see how big her tonsils are. A lot of children have tonsils that are naturally huge and when they fall asleep it wakes them up. They can actually get sleap apnea and a whole lot of other problems. We had to remove our 3rd daughters tonsils even though she never had tonsilitis. But after we did, she stopped getting so many upper respiratory problems, stopped the loud snoring she had been doing. It was too late though. We waited too long and she developed ADHD because of the sleep apnea.
Suzi
Dear K.,
your story sounds similar to mine with my 2 1/2 year old. He is now perminantly sleeping in bed with me just so we do not get up 3 and 4 times a night which is something i swore i would never do. He also sleeps very restless and calls out loudly in his sleap with moaning and groaning.
I read an article awhile back about infants and toddlers with sleeping disorders and how it can effect someone throughout their entire life and lead to ADHA (Attention Deficite Hyperactive Disorder)or ADD. I asked my family practitioner if he had any advice on this matter and he said that a 2 1/2 year old was too young to diagnose with a sleeping disorder. I didn't quite understand that response when the article i read was specifically referring to infants and toddlers. I wish I would have brought the article for him to read. You may want to check with your doctor to see if he has any advice on sleeping disorders in small children.
Hi, I want you to know that you are not alone I had the same problem with my son. He is doing much better but once during the week he will do the same as your daughter but before it was every night. I started to let him watch tv as he falls asleep, I know it's probably not the best advise but honestly in a few minutes he is asleep. I pray with him first and then he is off to sleep. I know it seems like it's impossible but she will change in no time.
I, too let my 3 1/2 yr daughter wind down with a movie. I make sure that the volume is very low. I like the music idea. At the daycare that I work in we play music in every room at nap time. From the nursery all the way up to the 5 yr olds. My daughter occasionally wakes up at night. I found that if I let her take her daily favorite toy to bed with her, it helps soothe her if she wakes up. Hope you figure this out! Sleep is precious!
This probably won't make you feel any better but I have a 14 year old daughter that has never slept through the night either! She used to do that also (the getting up constantly). I know how you feel!! She still wakes up throughout the night! But, the difference is she now understands she needs to just lie there and rest because even that is effective. Not as effective as sleep, but, better than nothing. And she doesn't wake me anymore! :) When she was little I gave her a flashlight and books on her nightstand and she also had a thing that was for babies that put fish and stars on the ceiling and she used that until she was like 7 or 8 I think (or until it broke). She has a tv in her room that she uses now - just turning it on gives her comfort and she drifts off back to sleep. I tried to get her pediatrician to do something but they said unless she is showing major signs of sleep deprivation to not put her through any tests and I don't want her to take any medication. She is a good student so I think that her body does end up getting the rest it needs. The other suggestion I have is to have some sort of rewards chart for staying in her big girl bed for a certain period and not getting up. You could take her to pick out something special for her room (like a really cool lights/sounds thing or a princess canopy for her bed)(my daughter loved hers). This will give her more self confidence and a reason to not continue to get up. A very wise person once told me that children do what works! She has *some* sort of payoff for getting up! Just change the payoff to when she stays in bed!! She will get better! Just be firm and consistent and make her tuck YOU back in! There is no need for you to get up unless she is sick or there is something major. I think if she doesn't get a lot of benefit from getting up (i.e. another tuck in, extra kisses, etc.) then you will see that you are getting up less and less & everyone will sleep better! Best of Luck to you! :)
My 3 1/2 daughter is exactly the same way and has been since she was about 2 1/2! She is getting better and I feel it's been a great night if she only gets up once! It feels like I've tried everything. I've figured out she can't have a night light because then it's too bright. But I did find a book "Moon in my Room", which is a night light book that turns off after 10 min? and she can push it to turn it on again. That seems to comfort her. Another thing, she feels comforted by, is leaving her bedroom door open! Also I really talk to her about what she's thinking and why she gets up, which she says "she needs to see her mommy!". Anyway after that one, I really re-enforce for her to stay in bed and that mommy is sleeping, and will see her at breakfast or when it's light out. But what I've mainly found is just being consistent with the routine, talking to her, and walking her back to bed whenever she gets up (so she doesn't get in bed with me!)
Good luck and it helps to know we're not the only ones!!!
Have you made any changes in her diet? Sometimes things like this can be dietary. My youngest brother of whom I assisted in raising was allergic to red dye, there was something in the dye in coolaid and other foods that had him so high strung that our dad and I didnt know what to do, went through all the testing add adhd and so forth and when they found nothing we took him back to our family dr. who suggested talking to a dietician and after we made the change in diet he was fine.
Do you think since you work full time she is missing you?!? Perhaps she's trying to get more time with her mommy?
