J.M.
I have a 3 year old also. My suggestion to you is to make your child responsible for their own actions. When he poops in his pants, don't say anything except "Oops. Guess you had an accident. You forgot to go poop on the potty". Then the first time you do this, show him how to take his underwear off and dump the poop in the potty (where it belongs). Then show him how to rinse off the underwear in the sink (not important how well he does it, only that he tries). Then show him where his clean undies are and have him put on a new pair. then tell him the next time he has an accident, he has to clean his undies by himself and put on new ones. So next time he has an accident just tell him "Oops. You forgot again to go in the potty." Take him to the bathroom and tell him to clean his mess and put on new undies. Then don't say anything else about it. After a few times of having to do this by himself, it won't be fun. Alot of times pooping in the pants is an attention getting behavior. If this behavior continues regardless of him cleaning it up, I would take him to a doctor to be checked out. Best of luck! jen