my 8y/o son has a canker soar on his tounge, which is recurrent. the canker soar is almost gone, but he now refuse to talk to anyone. All he will do his hum, shake his head, and shrug his shoulders. I ask him why wont he speak and he wont answer me. he stays in his room and read books, which is very unusual for him, he is usually a very hyper active child and talks alot and wont shu his mouth. Not sure if he just want attention or something is really bothering him. I ask him if somrthing is bothering him and he shook his head yes but wont tell me what it is. Any suggestions? I did try diff things, like stuff he likes or even trie scaring him by telling him if he dont talk im going to take him to the hospital and still, nothing.
thank you. He actually just started eating a little bit. I know its painful for him. Im doing axactly that ignoring him, not to be mean but it seems that he want all attention on him, I do have a 3y/o so I think he is in pain, but also an attention thing. If he wont talk I wont answer him with shrugs and head movement, because I knowhe can speak, by doing that he seems to not care. thanks again. STD!!!really? Anyway, thanks to everyone for your help. he has an appointment tomorrow. Its recurrent so seeing a doc is best.
I don't know if it's all because of the canker sore. Maybe something else is going on.
At bedtime, why don't you go sit with him in his bed and read a book with him and talk to him. Give him a big hug and kiss. Tell him if there is anything he wants to tell you, you always want to listen.
This is an extreme reaction to a canker sore. I've frequently had such sores on my tongue and do now that talking can be painful. So can eating. Is he eating alright. If he's eating then I suggest the not talking is not related to the sore. How long has this been going on?
I suggest that you back off and not pay any attention to his not talking. Tell him that you know he will talk when he's ready to do so and then don't mention it again. If he needs something and you don't know what it is calmly tell him he'll have to tell you what he wants because you don't understand. And then don't pay any more attention to him.
He's getting attention by not talking. If something is bothering him he will be more apt to tell you verbally what it is if he's not getting attention by not talking. If something is bothering him, getting attention is probably a part of his need related to what is bothering him.
Never make a threat that you don't plan to follow thru on. He will figure out that you won't do what you threaten and your threat will not only have any meaning to him but it's going to teach him to not trust you.
I suggest that reoccurring canker sores, which are a virus, are an indication that his immune system is weak. I suggest that you start him on probiotics. If he isn't already consistently taking a multivitamin that you also start those. If he's not getting 10 hours of good sleep/night then improve his sleep time.
Take him to the Doctor.
Get it checked out.
Hopefully nothing is getting worse inside his mouth or an abscess or something.
He doesn't talk about it.
It seems like an extreme reaction to a canker sore.
Maybe something is really wrong or hurting in his mouth.
Just take him... to the Doctor.
Don't ask, just take him.
He is obviously afraid that if he talks, he will get another canker sore. Your poor son. Take him to the doctor and ask about preventative measures. Good luck!
Sounds likes an attention getter.
Ignore it, don't try to get him to talk but don't give in and give him something he wants until he actually ASKS you. Yes they can hurt , be irritating etc, but this is an extreme reaction and sounds like he's doing it to get a reaction out of you. Don't threaten to do things you can't or won't follow through on. That won't help.
ETA: for food make sure anything you give him to eat is bland. He might not like it but his tongue will thank you
I will be the little bluebird of happiness to point out that STDs are often just as happy to form in the mouth as in the mucosa lining of other orofices. If this is wildly different behavior from him, I WOULD want him checked out by the doctor. Upside. A sore in the mouth is a lot easier to swab and send to the lab without making your child uncomfortable than a sore further south.
Here's to hoping I'm totally wrong!
The Mayo Clinic website has a good explanation of possible causes of canker sores (sorry, I wasn't able to copy/paste the link using my cell phone). It may give you some additional ideas to help him. Regarding the not talking, do not reward the behavior. Treat the sore to minimize the pain and monitor its healing. When it's less painful, he should be expected to communicate normally. Don't let anyone cater to his refusal to speak. And as someone else said, keep gently reassuring him that you want to listen and help him if you can, and when he does share what's bothering him, be careful to measure your response so that he doesn't regret saying something.
Will he write for you instead of talking?
