I started to potty train DD in December, 2 months ago. She was okay sitting on the potty, without a diaper, until she went poop. It totally freaked her out. She now screams, cries when I mention sitting on the potty without a diaper. Her reply is diaper on. How can I convince her it is nothing scary? She is just over 2 and a half.
Thank you all for your support and advice. This evening, I decided to try our normal routine. No complaints. (About 15-30 minutes after dinner, she sits on the potty, diaper on, read stories, washed hands, put on panties for 30 minutes, they stayed dry) I need to remember every child is different. I will not force her to sit on the potty. She understands, sees others at daycare, reads books, etc, but she is not ready yet. She'll be a big sister in May.
Back off on the training for a bit.
There's no rush and she won't be going off to college and still be in diapers.
In the mean time let her watch you when you use the toilet.
Let her flush for you then tell her what a great helper she is.
You can't reason with toddlers... Put her diaper back on and revisit the potty in a few months.
She's not ready. If you turn this into a battle of wills during which she is screaming and freaked out, you will regret it forever. There is no way to undo months of anxiety about this - it becomes a bit of a trauma.
You cannot win this battle anyway - she is in charge. Put the diaper back on and skip the potty. If she wants to try again in a few months, fine. I know you hear stories about some kids who potty train at 11 months or 2 years, but far more are closer to, or past, 3. Don't push this. I know you are more than ready for this. But she is not.
Get the book "Everybody Poops" - and there are others. Try the children's library for some choices to borrow. Leave them around but don't force her to read it every day. Just wait a few weeks, then introduce it with a relaxed attitude and the idea that "When you are ready...." Please avoid using the term "big girl", as in "big girls use the potty and babies use diapers." It just makes her feel bad about herself, and it may make her cling to other baby-like behaviors. Don't go down that road because it's so hard to turn back.
She’s not ready. Time to back off. She’ll do it when she’s ready.
As for the “nothing to be scared of”, first – check her poops when she goes in her pull-ups. If they are hard, she might be constipated and that’s not comfortable. Her fear is rational, for sure, in that case.
Pooping is a REALLY complex sensory thing. Next time you go, try to pay attention to ALL the stuff that’s going on with your body. You’ve been pooping for decades so you don’t “feel”/pay attention to it. For her, it’s all new and all weird and feels strange and maybe even wrong.
Just go back to pull-ups for a while. Get potty books. And if she is a bit constipated, call your pedi and ask what to do to help her with that. It’s very common.
You probably can't convince her of anything with words. Back off a bit on the potty and try again in a couple months.
If you watch a toddler when they are pooping in a diaper, you'll notice they are often crouching or squatting. Butt low, knees high. This is an optimal position for getting the job done. Sitting on a potty probably doesn't feel natural and may even hurt, which could be why she freaked out. If you're using the toilet or higher potty chair, a step or stool that is high enough to position knees above the hips might be helpful. There are also potty seats that are designed to sit low to the ground so that the knees are up when on the floor.
stop doing it.
she's not ready.
khairete
S.
Sounds like she's not ready. Potty training is something you can't force. Back off of her and play it up in a positive way, when it is mentioned. We had several false starts and when my son was ready, it was easy. Give her a few months.
Wait a month or so and then try again. How about reading to her when she is sitting on the potty? Sometimes that works...
She's still pretty young. Don't push it with her.
Wait until summer. She's still pretty young too.
She's been upset for 2 months, or did you take a break?
If she's ok going for a pee, I'd still encourage that. I knew a kid who had to have his poops (no word of a lie) in a pop up tent/kid house in his parent's living room. Why they allowed it to go on and on ... I don't know. But it was the only way he would poop.
In that case, I think they created this kind of weird habit. If I were you, I'd go with the pee, and let her use a pull up for poop until she's less upset. Try pretty underwear or cute underwear with designs on them she picks out. Keep it light. But don't force her to go if she's screaming. That's just going to set you back.
You can ask her too what the deal is. Just keep it light. Maybe there's a reason it bothered her. If you can identify why (without probing too much - which will just freak her out more) she's freaked, maybe you can ease her fears.
We did rewards, but nothing major. Maybe an M&M. But I never got into that too much - it was more "big kids use the potty" as if it was totally natural, and easy and nothing to think about. I think parents sometimes make such a big deal with potties and training and all the hoopla, they make it into a big accomplishment/feat for kids they feel anxious. Sometimes that helps kids (they like the gold star) but other kids not so much.
Good luck :)
