My daughter refuses to wipe herself after she pees or poops. I have tried teaching her but she refuses to learn and cries saying is disgusting and she will never clean herself. I stopped cleaning her after she pees and told her she can do that much by herself. She still refused to wipe, instead she washes herself in the bath tub and uses a towel to wipe. If we go out for the whole day, she just holds her pee until she comes home BC she doesn't want to wipe. She peed her pants once BC she refused to go to the bathroom when we were out for the day. The main reason she doesn't want to wipe off because she finds it disgusting to clean herself. If i tell her she must use toilet paper she cries and wails uncontrollably. She won't even use soap and water in the shower to clean her front or back. She also won't use wipes. Basically, she doesn't want to go near her pee or poop. She will be 8 pretty soon and still be calling me to clean her. How can I get her to wipe without all temper tantrums???
Thank you for the advice mothers! BTW I asked 2 questions about my daughter but I do not appreciate the judgement. I do appreciate the advice, and it was good advice. Thanks again.
Based on these two questions, take her to the child psych. If these are real issues and have been going on for a while, there's a feel of OCD and germophobia going on. It's an anxiety disorder and she needs real help.
No judgement, here. Just reality, genuine feedback, and concern for your daughter and your family.
Is she not in school? What does she do there? What about when she goes to a friend's house? Have you kept her from formal schooling because of this? Kept her from going to playdates or other activities? Just asking because she's of school age, and it's pretty normal for kids to have playdates and activities with peers, so I'm wondering what she does in those situations. I can't imagine her holding it all day, EVERY day at school and a teacher not noticing this.
This is an issue that must be addressed by professionals. Have you talked first with her pediatrician? Usually, they ask about developmental milestones at well checks, and this really should have been discussed years ago. Learning proper hygiene and self care are essential skills that are mastered gradually over the course of time. I'm curious as to why you never addressed this with your pediatrician. Were you hiding it out of shame? If so, time to toss that aside and get real with the people who can help you with this. It's very unhealthy for many reasons for your daughter to hold her urine and bowel movements.
Take her to her pediatrician. Make sure there is no underlying medical cause at the root of this. If there is none, ask for a referral to a child psychiatrist and psychologist. It is likely you will need both of these professionals to fully resolve this situation.
Good luck, and please don't wait any longer. This situation is damaging to your daughter's physical and mental health.
You don't give in to tantrums. I gave a detailed answer on your other question.
This is entirely unhealthy in every way, physically and emotionally. See a psychologist.
sounds like you taught her when she was small that her bodily functions are disgusting, and now you're reaping your just reward.
poor little thing. i hope you parent her more appropriately in other areas.
khairete
S.
It sounds like your daughter has anxiety issues and control issues. Yes, time to talk to the doctor about this and get a referral for a child psychiatrist/therapist. What do you do when you are out all day? Or on vacation? Or traveling? Or on a road trip? Definitely it is time to talk to a professional bc they will know concrete steps to take to work on correcting this behavior.
At 7 almost 8 she should be in either the first or second grade which is great if she is attending school. Let her suffer the consequences of her actions or the lack there of.
Yes she will smell, yes she could get a rash, yes she could even get chaffed or worse but those are the consequences of her actions or the lack there of. She will soon discover that perhaps wiping isn't as bad as stinking or rashes or infections.
Don't give in to her antics. Never let the inmates run the asylum. That's been my parenting moto and it has served me well. I've parented 8 adults now. Not so bad.
You can do this. She'll be fine.
This doesn't make any sense. Children are taught from when they are little that they wipe. What did you do? Never teach her to wipe? If you did that, then YOU taught her that she didn't have to. And she took from this that it's disgusting to wipe.
She's going to end up stinking, and have vaginal infections and raw skin. Talk to your ped about what to do get through to her.
Try telling her you will kiss the booboos, but that she's too old to be wiped. Offer an incentive/reward for wiping herself, something that she really wants. I have a feeling that if you compromise and give her the one thing she wants, maybe she will be willing to give you the other thing.
By chance do you have a new baby or young sibling in the house? This sounds like a child who is acting out because there's a new baby. It's very common for kids to regress when they are threatened by a new or much younger sibling.
