My Sister - Phoenix,AZ

You should talk to her. It sounds like she needs the guidance of an older sister. I have three half sisters that are younger and I talk to them about everything. Mostly so that they know I am always here for them. I also think it is great that you are getting involved in her life. Since you father passed away she may not know how to deal with boys (no role model) and maybe her mom isn't discussing it with her.

This is what big sisters are for! We talk to our little sisters about things they wouldn't talk with our parents about.

Talk with her about birth control. Help her find a Planned Parenthood if needed. Don't focus on his creepiness because she won't hear that. Instead remind her of her goals for herself and that a baby can blow those right out of the water, as can a bad relationship.

Keep talking to her and encouraging her to be open with you about the relationship. If at some point she stops talking to you... may be time to hop in the car for a visit.

I think it is SO okay to do that with a younger sister. I also think talking to her about planning and birth control is hugely important. If no one has armed her with that information it could spell disaster.

Tell her where she can go to get a check up and birth control. You may not be able to do a lot to keep her away from this guy, but you could do a great deal to keep her from having a baby with him.

If she is your family and you love her and you know that no one is doing this for her, do her a favor and step in. Even if her mom gets mad, it might spur her to start her own conversation and it will let your sister know exactly how invested you are in her and how available you are if she needs you.

This is what sisters are for. Keep her close, ask her questions (especially about protection), give her your opinion, make sure she knows you have a very high opinion of her.

You can say, I dunno, I think you're better than this guy, but keep asking about the relationship anyway.

She's lucky to have you!

:)

I'm sure it's tough, since you've just now begun to maintain a relationship again, and you don't know what kind of stuff was going on in her life during that down time, but honestly, if it were one of my little brothers, I'd flat out tell them how I felt. I wouldn't care if they disagreed or got mad at me... some kids won't listen and need to make their own mistakes, you know? But in the end, even if she didn't listen to you, let her know that you'll be there to pick her up when she falls. This guy sounds like bad news... just be there for her when he breaks her heart. Whether she ever admits it or not, she'll remember your warnings, and she'll take that to heart next time around, AND, even if she's mad at first, when she realizes you were right all along, it's going to give her more trust in you. Don't sugar coat it. Just let her know you're looking out for her best interests and you love her. Best wishes :)

It is your place! who else is going to look out for her the way you explained in your post. I would try the coaching her through method, open her eye to certain situations by injecting little peices of wisdom in her ear.

Hey sis if he really loves you like he says he does he will not pressure you to have sex because that comes with a lot of responsibilites ect....

Show her how to teach him how to treat her, all you can do is communicate with her and certainly do not hesistate to do that because that is all you can do at this point, get all up in her business and make no apologies for it because you are older, wiser and her big sister. Be there no matter how it turns out.

I would say it's absolutely ok to have that kind of talk with your sister. Why on Earth wouldn't it be...? Have you talked to her mother at all & maybe just kind of hinted around about the issue (if you don't want to rat her out entirely) & see how much the mother is aware of & how it's being handled?

Hi C.!
Listen I hear ya loud and clear. while my kid sister and I are close she is making dumb mistakes dating this loser who is lower than the mat under my feet...Believe me he is a douche bag!!! In the meantime, so we can stay close, I offer my opinion and perspective because at the end of the day that's all I can do...She like my sis is an adult and sometimes they will learn the hard way. Be there for her and encourage her! Hugs

You know this sounds a lot like what happened to my cousin.

My cousin's older sister had a baby. But for some reason their parents thought it was the younger sisters job to take care of the baby. Yep, the babies mother got to go do fun things while they made the aunt take care of the baby. They were both in highschool. So the younger sister gets involved with this guy and no matter how bad her treats her, she stays with him. In fact she got pregnant by him and now her daughter has a sibling that is only three months older than she is. So yeah, the boyfriend got two girls pregnant at the same time.

Why did she stick it out? Even though she was a highly intelligent girl, and had a lot of promise? Because her parents kept her under their thumb, made her raise her sisters child, and she found herself an out so she took it. Now my cousin is married to this guy who has four children with three women, they barely get by because this dude can't keep a job, and we have suspected that he was having an affair at some point.

So YES talk to your sister! She may not listen to you, but try anyway. Just keep trying.

I think you should talk to her. She needs to know someone cares about her other than some dude that says I love you in German.
Don't tell her what to do or what you think she should do, but do talk to her about online chatting and how it can mislead women. Be prepared to give her some examples of relationships gone bad, I'm sure you can google plenty to use as ammo.

See if you can get her to come visit you for a week or so. Some time away from the guy and some time to have fun and really talk to you about stuff.

Get her some books about abusive,controlling relationships. You can ask her about bc by saying something like ugh i am not happy with my bc because its making me so moody. what kind do you use? and do you like it? she might respond by saying she dosent use any or tell you what she does use. she is 18 and needs to make her own choices and mistakes. but definatly not involve a innocent baby ! its ok to talk to her and try to help her. even if she backs off.

Talk to her she's your sister... I find it easy to talk with my sisters, when I was a teenager, I didn't feel right talking to my mom, and I was very close with her, but my sisters could relate. However, when they didn't like a boy I did, and let me know, I stop talking to them. I know now I should have listened, but at that age, I felt I knew what was better for me. I was blinded and messed up big time.

Talk to her about the only thing guys are interested in is sex at that age. Then talk about protection and STDs. Especially like herpes and other diseases that you have to live with for the rest of her life. Tell her, you can even get herpes from oral sex. I would scare her about sex, especially how guys who really care about you, would wait. They don't want a woman who has had a lot of partners.

I had a friend in high school who's parents were very controlling and sheltered. Her little sister got pregnant at 18, the first time she had sex and the guy left her.

Just talk with her, don't go off on the guy right away, point out his flaws but don't go into too much details.

Good luck, hugs going out to you!

It is completely ok to have a talk with your sister about this. She is more likely to listen to you than her mom or any other adult. You should talk to her about sex, birth control and men's/boy's hormones going crazy at that age. Tell her about your experiences and talk to her about how she needs to not be naive about all of this. I would say not to bash her boyfriend right away or talk bad about him because all you know if him is from facebook, but warn her how boys that age are mostly after sex and not really care about the girl they are with. Good luck!