My Toddler Bites, Trying New Ideas

Hi A.,
I had the same problem with my now 3 year old daughter and she started young doing this. and one day she just stopped i got the same advice put stuff in her mouth, bite her back ect... nothing worked so every time she did it i told her i was very sad and that was bad and put her in a play pin and at 3 i know they hate that and walk away and pay no attention to him. when hes done crying make him say hes sorry to whoever he bites. after a while he'll stop honestly what i think is they will stop when there ready and not before my daughter was very bad when it came to this and bit good and hard not just to other kids but me dad grandparents it did'nt matter. he'll stop eventually. they all do!! i hope it helps!
H. and Sara

Hi A.,

Look at the answers I got from the date 2/13/07 when I asked the same question....
:0)

A.-I do not agree with biting your son (like the other advice). How can we tell a child it is wrong when we are doing the very same thing to him? You know, I noticed you said it has been over the past year that you have been frustrated with your son---that coincides with the time of your pregnancy and birth of your daughter. Your son may just be looking for attention. When he does bite, he needs to get time out, yes, time out again and again. If he wants to be communicating something when he is biting instead, do not give in...at 3 years old he should be able to verbalize what he wants properly. You need to tell him that---he needs to be told that he has to use words to tell you what he wants. You can explain biting hurts people and also hurts people's feelings. It will be a very frustrating process and require a bit more time and patience than just biting him back, but, again, if you are just biting him, how you can tell him it is a wrong behavior? Good luck!!

DO NOT BITE HIM!!!!...anyway, i am having the same trouble with a kid i watch, but she bites herself! i notice that time,patience and almost not acknowledging it has been working. i wish you luck and i will be looking forward to your responses!

Hi A.,

I had this problem with my son in day care a few months back. The owner of the day care told me that every time he bits just put listerine in his mouth the yellow one that taste bad. She got this information from a psychologist a few years back because she had a very big problem with a child in the day care & didn't know what else to do & also didn't want to have to take the child out of her day care. The child was a good kid except that he would bit all the kids. She told me after a few days of doing the listerine in his mouth after every bit the child never did it again. Also, putting listerine in his mouth is not going to harm him at all.
Hope this helps & good luck.
Lisa

Hey A.,
I have not had this problem, yet anyway! Have you talked to your doctor?? I've always heard of biting them back, just lightly, enough to get them to understand that what they are doing is hurting other people. He might not realize what he's doing really hurts. My sister has gone through this three times and the only thing that worked was biting them back, nothing really hard, just so that they understand what they are doing. Hope this helps!!

Hi A.,
Is he speaking and communicating his needs clearly yet, or does he get frustrated because he's not quite expressing his needs with speech? Using sign language is a GREAT way to encourage communicating with this type of issue... even at 3 years old, they sometimes need alternative ways to express themselves, and at that age, they pick up on it really fast... (I teach signing classes, or there are others in the area that do...) Also to just get started, check out www.aslpro.com.

If he's speaking well, but is just using biting as an aggressive expression, then I would suggest talking with a doctor or therapist to get some good ideas about how to teach him alternative ways of expression.

Hope that helps...

H.

As the others have said, do not bite him! All that does is encourage to bite. They won't understand that you are teaching them that it hurts or that it's not nice, instead if you can do it, why can't they ..... get it? My son is 19 months old and he's now starting to bite. Our pediatrician suggested that we spray a mouth wash or breath spray in his mouth every time he bites and then attend to the other child, the victim. This will discourage him from biting. Problem for me is that he only does this in daycare and they say they can't use the spray (not sure why still trying to get them to do so) but if it happens at home, I will try.

Till then, be patient, and do not bite him.

Do NOT bite him! He won't understand why you are harming him. Children who stop biting because they were bit stop out of fear of being harmed again, not out of understanding that the biting was causing harm to another. For my own son, we woud yell "OWWW! That hurts Mommy!" That is a much more humane and effective way to make him understand that biting hurts.

In addition to the advice already given here about how sign language may help him communicate better without getting frustrated, 2 other things came to mind... Make sure it's not just a jealousy thing with your infant. Every time you need to pay attention to your infant, be sure to tell your 3 year old that as soon as you are finished changing/feeding/whatever the baby that you will have mommy time for him. Have him go pick out a book you can read together, for example, and teach him to be patient by praising him for waiting and rewarding him with some mommy time...

But it may have nothing to do with any of the above. Some children bite (especially those who bite themselves) to releave pressure in their ears or jaw. You may want to mention that to his pediatrician and possibly go see an ENT to rule out fluid in the ear or other issues

One of my twins was a biter. When I asked my doctor what to do he told me to stay away from areas that she could bite. I thought he was crazy but that is exactly what i did and it wasnt easy she was a twin and I had an older daughter. Anyway If we had to be around other kids I was very careful I just stayed with her and was always on guard. I avoided play areas and places where I couldnt stay with her and she did eventually stop. It was a nightmare and my friends and I joke about it now. People thought i was crazy standing over her ready to stop her. Good luck I promise you will laugh about it one day.
C.
Mom to Danielle, Nicole, Amanda & Joe-Joe

Hi A.,

My son is 2 and has Downs Syndrome. He is not talking yet but we do some sign language and that has helped a lot.
I have asked Thereapists and other Moms that have DS kids, and I have heard the same thing over and over....

First off, dont bite back...lol I know that sometimes you think if you do it to him/her they will know what its like. Well thats not the case.
There frustrated for one because they cant get out what they want, or there teething.

I was told to get a battery operated toothbrush, and turn it on, let him play with it, hold it in his mouth etc....The mouth gets stimulation, from this, AND his teeth will be clean to. LOL
Plus get his hand and slowly rub it on your arm or face, where ever there trying to bite and tell him to be "Nice"

This has worked with my son, Ill swear by it. And other Moms to that I know of.

Let me know if it works, cant hurt to try.

L.