Name Change for Minors in Washinton State

Updated on May 07, 2011
J.J. asks from Bellingham, WA
6 answers

My kids are two, and the father and i have not been together since they were a few months old. At the hospital I tried to give them my last name, but the father threatened to never see me or the twins again if i gave them my last name. I panicked and crossed out my name and gave them his. They are 90.2% with me, and i have been calling them by my last name since they were infants. I am the custodial parent and i live in Washington State. I want to change their last name to my name legally, because i have been calling them that since practically birth. Is it likely to be granted my request to change their name, if the father is likely to contest it?

EDIT: We were never married, and he was hardly in their lives at first, but recently started having them 2 nights a month and once weekly hour and a half visits. I know that you can file a petition to get a last name change if the other parent doesnt agree. I found this website that told me what the court considers when someone petitions for a childs name change: http://www.washingtonlawhelp.org/documents/1488013400EN.p...

What i want to know though is how likely is it to be granted my wishes? Has anyone been in this situation? If you husband can ask, i would GREATLY appreciate it! Im not sure if he can talk to one of the attorneys and see how many cases like this get granted the change. My problem is the money. I dont want to spend the 145 (x2 for twins) filing fee, and then lose just to: #1 be out the money and #2 have him rub it in my face like i know he will. I live in a SMALL town and EVERYONE knows them as my last name. His family and friends live in a different state and he doesnt really know anyone in the community. I am the one who deals with all the doctor and school paperwork, and they have no emotional connection with him, in fact they hate going with him. Since they are only two they dont really know the difference, but i am scared when they get older they are going to want to know why i didnt give them my name (i wish SOOOO badly i would have). there are so many reasons why i think its in their best interest.

EDIT: He does pay child support and he does see the kids now. I just feel like it was suppose to be my choice in the beginning and i think that the boys would benefit emotionally by having my name, or adding my name. I have heard also that you can change their last name to a second middle name, and add my name as the last name....Example: John Michael Smith's parents are Jane Jones and James Smith. John's name can be: 1. John Micheal Jones-Smith, 2. John Micheal Smith-Jones, 3. John Micheal Smith Jones, or 4. John Michael Jones Smith. The last two have ONE last name and TWO middle names. Would it be easier to obtain if i just added mine and not take the other away?

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More Answers

K.I.

answers from Los Angeles on

What about just adding your last name to their last name? Like a hyphen situation? That way they will have your name and you can probably phase out using the dad's last name...I mean they would still 'legally' have his last name but they would also 'legally' have your last name also so that way you would be able to say their last name is the same as yours as well? That might work? I do not think you need the father's consent to add to the name?!

You should just go down to the SS admin office and ask...it's way cheaper and you shouldn't need any thing from the father! Make sure you ask which last name is actually 'THE' last name...like if the dad's name is Smith and your is Jones ask which way it works, should they be 'Smith-Jones' or 'Jones-Smith'? I have heard sometimes it's the first one and sometimes it's the last one...so just go in and ask...

That way I bet you could register them for school and Dr/'s appt. and such and just give your last name and it would work...

1 mom found this helpful

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

He I believe will have to sign away rights. I dont know how all of that works. My husband works in a law firm in Seattle. I can have him ask some on on Monday. PM me if you are interested. He is in the position where he can get ''free advice'' and make it not look like he is asking:)

L.G.

answers from Eugene on

Have you talked to legal aid? Does this macho egotist pay child support?

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I'm not sure about Washington, but in California it can't be done without the other parents consent.
However, you can call your children what you want.
My daughter has her father's last name legally, but she never used it until she turned 18, had a driver's license, did her own taxes.
You can look into the filing fees etc in your area, but I'm pretty sure they will tell you that you have to give the father the right to contest the change. If he does and he's not an axe murderer who has been on the news where his last name could be harmful to the kids or their ability to live their lives free of stigma, I don't think you can win. Your kids can change their names to anything they want once they turn 18. That's a long way away.
Even when my daugher graduated high school, she was announced with my husband's last name. Her official diploma had her legal name on it.
Referring to kids one way and legally changing their names are two different things.
Were you married at the time? Did he complete a declaration of paternity?
At two years old, it might be too late to change it due to duress. But you can check with the department of vital statistics in your county to see what they say.
It won't cost you anything to ask.

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H.G.

answers from Portland on

You are their mother & you were never married to the father, It will be done with ease. Just file & go the the appointment.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with Shane, that you can call your kids any name you want. The only time the legal name matters is on legal documents like birth certificates, drivers license, and passports, etc.

I worked as an HR Manager for awhile so I processed everyone's legal documents. I was surprised how many people did not use their "legal" names. They used a different name on their resumes, applications, paychecks, everything except the document they had to show me to prove identity.

I would just leave their names alone and not stir up trouble with their father.

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