My husband and I have been together for six years and married for 3 months. In the course of those years I've discovered that he has five other kids 2 of which I knew about and four I found out about after we had a child. I am pregnant now, however he doesn't want anymore kids and I want one more. His kids range from 10 to 13 years old and my son is 3.5 and he has no one to play with. he is agressive about not having any more kids but I'm tired of having abortioins but yet he doesn't want me on birth control, when I mention a vasectomy he gets angry. helppp!
Hi, I am so sorry that you're going through that. My personal advice is to do what you have to do to take care of your children. This guy seems like trouble. God Bless
H.
HI,
I think you need to have a hard long look at your relationship. Is it about what he wants or what you both agree on?
I understand why he does not want anymore children but abortion is not a form of birth control and you should not have to do it to please him. I'm not going to go there because in my personal opinion it's also morally wrong. Ask him why he doesn't want a vasectomy. Is it so he can have more children with other women? If he feels strongly about not having any more kids he should get a vasectomy or let you go on birth control. Or if you would consider it, get a tubal ligation. Women have fought long and hard to obtain the right to control their fertility. Don't enable some man take it away from you.
Well I can understand not wanting to terminate pregnancies anymore! Have you thought about Natural Family Planning. That is how my husband and I have had both of our children and it is a blessing in our lives. I do not believe in birth control, or abortion, and not only that I can't even remember what I wore yesterday let alone to take a pill everyday! NFP is a great way to control conseption. Heres a great web site about it: http://www.familyplanning.net/ Good luck and I am from CA also. I grew up in San Diego and in the LA area. Ohio is great and I am sure you will love the winter!! HAHA- T.
Hi N.-
Well you've had to deal with a lot it sounds like. I can't seem to understand why he doesn't want you on birth control if he doesn't want anymore kids?? A vasectomy I can understand for him, because that's a huge surgery. But taking birth control pills is not a big deal. It's sad that he doesn't understand what an abortion does to a woman. Even if the feeling is mutual to have it, it's still physically painful and emotionally stressful. He shouldn't want you to have to go through that...He needs to understand where you are coming from. If all else fails, take birth controls and just don't tell him. I mean, how would he find out?? Especially if your not trying to have other kids, there would be no harm in that. I know it's alittle sneaky, but he's not leaving you with too many options. Try to get him to see your point. He doesn't want a vasectomy because it's painful and this huge procedure; but what does he think an abortion is??? I'm sorry your having trouble and I wish you the best.
