Need Advice on 1Yr Old

She just needs to know inside is for inside voice and outside is an outside voice. So sit her down and tell her about the inside voice and outside voice and talk to her nice and calmly inside and take her out side and let her scream. She will probably like that.

Hey...Buy some PVC pipe that is big wide enough to fit her mouth and make a "telephone" with it.When she screams have her hold the phone,that way when she screams she will hear what she sounds like and will stop. Make sure the phone is made like a "c" so it fits her mouth and ear. I work at a pre school and this is very effective for out little loud ones.

Sometimes when my kids act out with a new, undesirable behavior, they are trying to get my attention. I can imagine that being pregnant and babysitting another child could leave your little one feeling a little lost. Maybe a little special one-on-one time with mommy each day would help to soothe her. Perhaps during that time you could practice different types of "voices" -- singing voices, silly voices, whispering voices, loud voices, etc. Make a game of it and perhaps she'll play along in the car, also. Maybe you could both sing along to a kids CD while you are driving along. Good luck!

There's not a whole lot you can do about it in the car if she's allowed to so it at home (as you indicated by syaing "at home idoesn't bother me). If you want to curb the screaning, you have to be consistent. Juat like everything. If you let her do it sometimes and not other's, she doesn't learn, "okay, Mom doesn't care if I do it at home, but I can't do it in the car", she learns, "I wonder if Mom will care THIS time...hmmm, let's find out". You have to be consistent in your parenting.
Think of this example...If you (or me) had to go to work and we felt sick but we knew that somtimes when we stayed home, we lost pay and lost personal days, but sometimes, our boss didn't even comment on our missed dy and he still paid us, we would be more inclined to miss more often. If we knew that everytime we missed we would lose pay, we would only be missiing work when it was aboulutly necessary!
The same with parenting, if our children know that there are consequences to a cretain behavior EVERYTIME they do it, they will stop doing it. They WILL. Some just take longer than others to learn, but it is ALWAYS affected by the parent's level of consistency with the consequences.
So in short, if you let her do it in the house, you can't very well expect her to not do it in the car. She's too young to undertand the difference.
~C.

My son did the same thing! I don't have any new advice just the reassurance that they do grow out of it or at least start understanding the difference between inside and outside voices.

I would consider letting the 3 month old nap somewhere else that is more private. I scheduled my day around my sons naps when he was that young so that I was home during his morning and two afternoon naps--did errand running right after breakfast or around lunch time. Hope that helps!

I feel your pain. I have a 2 month old, 19 month old and a 4 year old. My 19 month old has starting yelling and screaming, instead of just talking. Telling him to be quiet doesn't seem to work so now every time he starts being loud, he has to come and sit on the floor by me for about 1 minute. After he's sat for a minute I tell him there is no yelling or being loud and let him get up.
Best of luck to you! At least you know you aren't the only one :)
Jen

Like Kelly said in her response, I too usually am home when the kids are napping. My 8 month old still has 2 naps sometimes 3 so everything we do is usually centered around his nap schedule. But I do know that there are times when this just is not an option, when you have to get out for whatever reason and the baby ends up taking a nap in the car. Or you might be a person who does not center their schedules around the babys naps (that is a personal opinion and does not make you a bad mom/sitter, because you are doing something differently than us).

When you read my response just remember that screaming can be extremely dangerous in the car. Especially if it is raining or heavy traffic, it is a major distraction and personally I think you need to get it under control....so keep that in mind, my above feelings when you read my response. I veiw screaming in the car as dangerous as if your child was to step into the street. Also this is not how we discipline in the home, this form of discipline only takes place in the car.

This is probably not the most popular advice, but again, this is what I do with mine (and I have 3 that are 16 months apart-starting at age 3). Needless to say not only does a scream come out once in a while, but the carseats are all right next to one another, so I have them taking toys from one another, stretching one anothers arms, and every once in a while someone will stick their foot in Tino Giovanni's face since he is in a rear facing carseat! So I don't have time to pull over and talk to them or anything like that. I hear what is going on, or sometimes see it because I either glance in the rearview or am the passanger in the car. They get a warning which goes like this, "There is no screaming (or whatever the wrong behaivor is) while I am driving. It is dangerous to scream when I am driving (or "do you think it shows your brother that you have a loving heart when you pull on his arm? I don't think he likes it, he said stop.") If you do "this behaivor" again then you are going to get a mommy pinch! Do you understand?" I wait for a response, if I don't get one, I tell them that I asked them a question and that they need to answer me because they need to show me they respect me. They answer and I ask my oldest (who can talk extremely well) to repeat what will happen and my 2 year old (who is just learning to talk) I will just repeat it one more time and ask him if he understands again. This way I know that they heard me and understand what is going on. If I get a no I repeat again....anyway, there have been times when my daughter laughs at me and does it again (she is a very strong willed little kid who loves to see if I will follow through), or they just want to do it again....whatever the reason if it happens again they get a mom pinch....the mom pinch is just the quick grab behind the seat and get their leg or foot and pinch (not a really hard one). Once they get the mom pinch I remind them that I love them and that they got the mom pinch because they had disobeyed and done whatever the deed was.

Again, this is probably not the most popular opinion or discipline action, but it works. My children are not perfect, but they do respect me....and they also do not go around pinching or hitting other children. I do not believe it teaching children to pinch, if you have told the child that this is their consequence for their action.

Good luck.

Dear A.
I think why your one year old does that screaming is for attention, she probably feel a little left out becasue you pay attention to the other child not saying u ignore her i am sure u dont but maybe to her it seem that way, its just her being jelous. Maybe what you need to do is sit her down give her her favourite toy or food eg ice cream, stuff toy ect and have a little important chat with her, thats how she would probably look at it, that mom finding time for her, but as i was saying talk to her let her know how much you love her and that the love u give the other child wouldnt affect the love you have for her and her love wouldnt be any less.

Sounds like she is happy that she has found her voice! But have you tried disney music? Get a CD to pop in the player while driving. It should get her attention. Or some soft sleepy music too. We have the Cinderella princess songs...my kids love it! Good luck!

This one made me laugh because my youngest two are both squealers. The 3 year old started at only about 4-5 months. He still hasn't stopped. He does listen and stop when I ask him to, but when he gets excited or bored, the squealing just comes out. The 1 year old does it a lot. They think it's fun or funny and they get going squealing at each other.
Sometimes I wonder what my neighbors think I'm doing to them when they're squealing like that. But they do grow out of it. I found nothing that worked to get them to not do it before they were old enough to follow directions. The 1 year old isn't there yet. Good luck, but try not to get too worked up about it. Most times they're just looking for a reaction.

It sounds as if you have your hands full. Children usually do this when they find their voice and/or when they feel they aren't being heard. Just making sure that you give her undivided attention when she talks so that she will be a little more secure but also to talk very softly to her. They will be more like us than we realize and then we want, unfortunately. Just a quiet consistent reminder that 'when we're indoors we use our indoor voice'
making sure to let her get outdoors alot where she can use her outdoor voice. Teaching that there is a time and place for it all.

Hi A.,
You can try singing with her. When you can tell that she's going to start to scream, or squeal, just start asking her questions about the day and what she wants to do that day, and help her with the answers, or you can start singing songs with her. If you know that she has favorite songs, start singing them and encourage her to join in. My kids always love to sing their church songs especially in the car.
She may be bored and doesn't know what to do. Be creative and talk to her, and get her imagination going so that she will be occupied. But the verbal attention really tended to help mine, especially when they started to cry in the car.
Good luck and may God Bless!
Take care,
V.

You can turn this into a game. During the day, set aside 10 minutes where you both do the same thing. Let her know that this is the only time she can do this. When she does it outside of this time frame, put her in her room by herself for 2-5 minutes until she stops. If she gets hysterical, then take her out but keep reminding her that it is only acceptable during the time you have set. Reinforce with words. Reward with a snack. Habits usually take 3 weeks or so to make and are harder to break. Hope this helps.

Hello A.,
You are a busy momma! Advice here is just that...advice. I honor you for being the best mom you can be! It isn't easy I know my daughters are grown and I am a grandmother...I am a Montessori teacher and a parent coach. I will offer you advice...that is based on what I have experienced and learned about. One thing about young children...you must be consistant, meaning, you must stick with the plan for at least a week before altering the plan. Here are some suggestions:
Before the child screams again get in your mind where there is a better place for screaming. Example: outside....in bedroom, bathroom, etc. This is not a form of punishment...it is just a better place where it doesn't hurt my ears. It it should be a safe place...where you know your child is safe.
Identify to the child that when he/she is screaming it is hurting your ears and that there is a better place to scream. Each time the child begins to scream...(do not indicate any emotion, just remain matter of fact: the look the child will see is that you are ok...and screaming is ok...but not here).
The reason behind this is: if this is attention getting behavior (we all do this..you know, even adults, children just do it in child like ways, hahah) you are giving attention but you are not going to let it hurt your ears. The battle of the will is gone...when one doesn't have to be right or wrong...everyone is safe in their own identity. This is called Win/Win.
In the car....begin to talk to your toddler way before getting into the car...that now that we have a special place to scream he/she won't want to scream in the car anymore. Keep in mind this will not work at first. Young children don't have the skills yet to comprehend this..but through experience they understand. So tell your child that you believe that he/she will save the screaming for the special place. Have the intention that your child will not scream in the car anymore but be prepared if he/she does. Do not scold...warn or prepare your child in anyway for what you will do if there is screaming in the car. If and when the screaming begins...matter of factly, just pull over in a safe place....get out of the car...with your non angry matter of fact look. Kindly take your child out of the car seat...close the door...and say: you are screaming, we agreed that you will do this in your special place. When you are ready we return to the care and try again. Scream now if you feel like screaming....because the car is not a special place. Ask the child are you ready to get back into the car?
Of course he may or may not respond. You will know when he is ready. Try again...stop each time...I KNOW THIS IS NOT EASY..I KNOW YOU HAVE A SCHEDULE...but being a parent is a primary occupation. As a parent you are guiding your children to become mentally healthy adults. It takes time...and when you arrive late to where ever you are going just let them know that you are the CEO of your family and one of the team players couldn't make a deadline without your help. The developmental deadline being that of "self concept".
This will pass....keep up the amazing work of parenting. I cheer you on...let me know what happens. Miss C.