Need Advice on Getting Kids in Own Bed

Ok... I don't have any advice BUT need the same advice!!!!!!

I am a single mom and live in a one bedroom aparmtent and my 27 month old son (who is the most important thing in my life) sleeps with me and still nurses just throughout the night. It's probably more of a habit and comfort thing at this point.

Obviously I am all for extended breast feeding and I heard they will tell you when they are ready to stop... BUT, I am at the point where I am ready to stop and he isn't and I am not sure he will ever be!

So, I would love the same advice!!!

K. & 27 month old Rhys

Getting them into their own beds is harder the longer you wait. I have a 7 yr old, a 4yr old, and a 7mo old. I started the 7 mo old around Christmas in her own room. The 4 yr old was the hardest. I just put him in bed, and everytime he got up, I took him back in there. The first time I said good night, I love you, and nothing after that. The first couple of nights, it broke my heart. He was crying, but it is much better now. I am so glad I stuck to it!
When I weened my oldest from the breast, he was about 16 or 17 months. I gave him a sippy cup with milk in it if he woke up wanting to nurse. That seemed to work for both of my boys.
I wish you luck! I have found that two of the hardest things for me was weening and getting my kids in their own bed. Just be consistent! As hard as it is not to give in, you have to do it for yourself as well as your kids!

My son slept with us til he was 18 months old. He was still nursing through the night til he was 13 months old. I just got tired of being "Mom's All Night Diner" so I cut him off at night. I didn a night time nursing and a morning nursing. Boy, was he mad that first night. He was a little squirmy the next, but then he was pretty much okay.
On getting the kids to their own beds... We got Lex a regular mattress and put it on the floor. I laid with him til he went to sleep. That worked pretty good for a while. Then it was taking 2-3 hours to get him to go to sleep. So what I've been doing for a while now is read him a few books, sings a few songs turn out the lights (we leave the bathroom light on for him tho), then I'll lay down with him for about 5-10 minutes. At this point I put a baby gate in front of his door to keep him in his room. He doesn't go to sleep, but he doesn't complain about being in his room. This is working for now.

There's a book called "Good Night, Sleep Tight" that has some great advice about solving sleep problems or transitions. It's by Kim West. Her main method is that you put the kids in their own bed and you sit in a chair next to their bed. Over a period of several nights you move your chair closer to the door, then out into the hall way, etc. While ours have been in their own rooms since they were about 3 months old, we didn't have much issue with getting them TO their beds. However, 3 weeks ago when we took our son's pacifier away, we had a lot of fuss at bed time (as we expected). So after a week of crying and drama we implemented this method. The crying went from an hour down to a half-hour after the first night. Now, 2 weeks after the first "sit-in" we are in the hall way and he's asleep in 10 minutes or less. He'll protest a little at first, get settled after about 2 minutes, then chatter or sing a little until he falls asleep. In one way it's been kind of nice because I use the sitting time to read a book or fold laundry (yes, I drag the laundry basket to the middle of the hall and get to work) or do whatever.
Good luck!

Have I been tempted to run to the store and buy another pacifier? YES! It was hard going from totally peaceful bed time to screaming fits.
Luckily, my husband's resolve is stronger than mine! We'd be back at square one if it was all up to me.

I would definitely work on naps in your child's own bed during the day time. My little girl is 15 months old and this is what we are doing with her. She has always slept in her own bed/bassinet (except for when I would fall asleep holding her). When this would happen, I would immediately put her back into her own bed. You might gradually take away the sleeping with you by laying down with them for a little while right before bed and then put them in their own beds. Let them know that you are still there... I would not let them cry/scream it out, but you also shouldn't give in to them either. It is best for you and your husband to have a bed of your own.
Also, I am still nursing my little girl too, but I only nurse her twice a day. Once in the morning when she gets up and again in the evening. She knows that and when she asks for milk at another time, I tell her that yes she will get milk again, but right now she can have cow's milk instead of mommy's milk. Then I give her a straw cup with milk. I think that I stopped nursing her during the night by at least 2 or 3 months, so it is definitely a habit/comfort thing with your little one. So, cuddle, kiss, and love on her when she thinks she needs milk during the night and then when she is comforted and ready to go back to sleep, put her back in her bed.
Best wishes for you! :)

I had the same problem up until a few weeks ago. Our pediatrician suggested that we put each child to bed in their own beds and spend 15 minutes with them either talking, reading a book etc. and then leave the room. I have to admit the first 3 nights were pretty hard and everytime they got up we had to get them back in their room. My 7 year old still kept running into our room in the middle of the night, but we talked it over with him and new he goes to bed with just a tucking in and good night kiss. My daughter who is 3, requires soft music, a book and laying down with her for about 15 minutes talking about how much I love her lol. She's a little narcissistic. My 15 month old is a little trickier, he still takes a 4 am bottle, but he goes down right after his bath with soft music and mommy singing and spending a little one on one time with him. I try to leave a water bottle with him in case he needs it in the night. (may not work with a nursing child though) Anyways, the key is consistency and hanging in there. The kids just want to feel close to you and if you spend a little one on one time with them, it seems to help take off the edge. Good luck!

What time you put your children to bed will also play a role in how you go about teaching them to sleep alone. My children have an 8:00 bedtime and 7:30 on days with no naps. This gave me the time I needed to spend to transition them. I had a friend who used the cry it out method and it worked for her but I am too soft. I had trouble letting my 5 year old cry it out when she was 2 and I put her in her own bed. I started by just sitting on the floor beside her bed and when she would talk I would say "shhh, it's time to sleep" and then tell her that I would talk to her about about anything she wanted in the morning. then I gradually moved to a chair by her door and then outside the door with it pulled slightly closed where she couldn't see me and then I would put her to bed and when she called for me I would say from wherever I was in the house, "Yes, I'm still here now it's time to sleep and we'll talk in the morning". It took about 3 weeks total. Some crying but not too bad and one thing I have never done was play monster games. The very night she developed her first fear of monsters (which was about a year ago) I would put her to bed and when she mentioned monsters I told her there was no such thing as monsters. Since she trusts me she believed me and the whole monster thing lasted about 4 days. Now she tells me when she goes to bed "there's no such thing as monsters". I hope this helps and that I haven't confused you. chuckle...My youngest after sleeping with me for 7 months transitioned with no problem. One other thing is to establish a bedtime ritual like a story, bath, or both.

i dont know what you think about pets, but when my son was three he was still sleeping in my bed and i never thought i would get him out. So one day i was at the pet store in the mall and my son asked for a dog, I told him no and went on. Later that night he asked his dad, and he said no. After he went to bed his dad and i talked about the dog and desided if he wanted a dog it would be his dog he would have to walk it, feed it and sleep with it in his bed. the next morning we talked to him and he agreed, and we went and got a puppy. that night we got out bed back to ourselves. about your 17 month old, feed her big before you put her to bed, lay her down in her room close the door they also have bears that mimic heart beats and some that you make a recording of the sounds in your room. another good way is when you are getting ready for bed put your shirt under her before you lay her down then she can still smell you which helps there first few weeks sleeping without you.

C.,

I can tell you from experience that letting your kids cry it out is one of the TOUGHEST things you will ever do... BUT - it not only helps them learn how to self-soothe, it also helps their confidence level. I let my daughter cry it out when she was 4-months old and didn't need the middle of the night feeding anymore and let me tell you; it was invaluable. I was then able to just go upstairs, lay her in her crib, sing her a song and turn out the light. She is now the easiest thing to put to bed at night. She never gets up and she can confidently put herself to sleep - even if she's not tired.

At 17 months, your daughter doesn't need that feeding anymore- it's a habit. No matter what you do to wean her, it's going to be a struggle. Letting my daughter cry it out didn't take more than 2 days and while it was extremely difficult on my emotions; it's what was best for her in the long run.

Best of luck!
K.