Need Advice on How I Should Handle This...

That's amazing that at 8 & 11 years old they were able to put their heads together & come up with such a good plan to help them out. It's sweet & on top of that, maybe they are finally going to start getting along. I have 3 sisters & we always did things like this for eachother. I'm with them...no punishment necessary. She took care of it!

M.,

This is where it all begins. They are becoming independent. I suggest you lock them in their rooms and never let them out.They will soon be moving out if you dont do it fast. j/k Your doing a wonderful job and your teaching them independence. Dont sweat the small stuff. They will keep things from you at times, but if your teaching them responsibilty then they will also learn that if they make a bad decission then they have to suffer the out come of it as your daughter did. She had the camera taken up and had to work hard to get the money to get it back. My concern though is why is she have'n to pay to get it back and where did that $15 go? Did the teacher pocket the money? I think if she did that is wrong and the princible needs to be let in on it. If it went to a donation to cancer or something hey that is a great idea. So be very proud of your girls. They are becoming young woman. You better hang on tight, before you know it they will be grown and moving off as my daughter did. She is now in the army and it was hard but I know I have taught her independence and she now realizes that I was not that hard on her. lol She used to think i bossed her around to much but she knows I didnt. Any way just be proud that they handled it by them selves. Don't forget to question the school where the money went.

Princess

I'm surprised y'all have never heard of kids paying a fine. It's been the standard ever since pocket-sized electronic devices have become so accessible that every kid has at least one. The point is that taking it away from a kid and having no consequence ensures that schools will have to battle this constantly. Levying a fine hits them where it hurts and reduces the infractions dramatically.

Here the money goes into the general fund which pays for stuff like attendance rewards, birthday pencils, snacks during TAKS testing, and the like. It's not like teachers or administrators are lining their pockets; they use it to buy stuff for the students.

They were pretty clever...and although they fibbed, they were doing the "right thing"....$15 to someone at school? The teacher? I would call to find out WHEN (not IF) you will be getting your $15 back! That's absurd! Yes, I understand she should not have had it out at school in the first place, but they can't charge her to get it back! They should have called you or made other arrangements, but $15???? I sure hope you call that teacher! My husband is a teacher and he said he can't imagine someone collecting $15 from a kid! Call! Good luck....

First of all, get a large red marker and circle the day this happened on your calendar. After all the work, tears, guidance, threats, and bribes, your girls have finally started to act like the best part of sisters. I would do...absolutely nothing about this. It's not like your older daughter lied about what she wanted the money for--you didn't ask, she didn't tell (maybe a future military career, ha ha) Also, although you did tell your younger daughter that money was for her lunch account, you didn't tell her NOT to loan it to her sister! (I'm sure you realize the importance of these distinctions at their ages!)
On the other hand, I would not give your younger daughter the money to replace what she loaned her sister. Until your older daughter pays her back, it won't hurt to bring a brown bag lunch to school. This reinforces the lessons of lending and borrowing, and builds the girls confidence and trust in each other.
As a single mom, I know how hard it is to wonder and worry about whether or not you're doing as good a job as you could or should. Relax. Whatever you're doing is working. As a former member of the sisterhood, I'm officially proud of you!

D2

That is sweet that your girls worked together. It was not good that the older one took her camera to school. Make them feel more confident and comfortable to come and talk to you about issues that are troubling to them to solve issues in a family way (including you) verses a sneaky one. by the way-- where does the 15$ go at school-- whose making some extra money?? HA HA!
Help them understand too that they were dishonest too regarding where the money was expected to be going/paying for.

Dear M.:
I don't know what "taken up at school and had to pay $15.00 to get it back" means. Some kind of fine?

Anyway, I would tell them pretty much what you said: That you are proud how they worked together and acted responsibly. Tell them they can come to you next time while you are at it.

I would go a step further and give them a little extra, because now they don't have that money to themselves. Perhaps $2 each - not as a reward, but as a little pocket money for snacks. Once I saw my son donate $1 at Kroger's, so I gave him an extra buck for this unselfish act when it was allowance time.

Regards,
W.

Aaaaah sisterly sibling rivalry. It happens and it's totally normal. I think your girls are very responsible working to earn money and telling the truth. I think they love each other and would both come to the other's rescue. This is love written all over the place. You've done a great job with your girls! :) Good on you!

That really is sweet that your daughters worked together. I would say no punishment is in order, but be sure to let them know that fibbing won't be tolerated again and that the 11 year-old shouldn't have taken her camera to school.

Geez, $15 to get it back?? I understand a little fine, but you would think $15 is expensive enough that parents would raise hell!

First of all, I would be going to that school and demanding my $15.00 back. That is absolutely ridiculous!!!! It is awesome that your daughters came together as a team to help get the camera back. I have a step daughter that is 11 and my daughter is 9, everytime she comes over they fight like cats and dogs, it drives me up a wall, but when it really counts, they always help each other. I do not know if you had told your daugther not to take the camera to school or not, but I would just warn her that she should not do it again in the future.

You know we spend a lot of time teaching our kids not to tattle on each other and then we're surprised when they don't. LOL. I think it was a little deceptive to cover up the truth so she wouldn't get in trouble but very sweet of lil sis to help her big sis when she was in need. I think you should talk to the 11 yr old about coming clean with the truth (she could've showed more character by admitting what had happened but also explaining that she was willing to earn it back) and the 8 yr old about how sweet it was to be so generous with her sister.

I know this doesn't answer your question but I'm confused- who did she have to pay $15 to in order to get it back? I think I'd be making a trip up to school in order to get my kids camera and/or money back!