Need Good Legal Advice

You will have to meet with an attorney to get any advice. My sister just did this. Its about $5000 for legal separation or divorce. Such a hard decision.
Just know that he can not take the kids or charge you with having the kids without court order.
Best advice is to get a good lawyer.
My thoughts are with you, this is just something no one shoud have to face but for you and the kids it is better to live separtate sometimes than for the kids to see anything.
Cheers, H.

Look for someone who has experience in divorce and will be a strong advocate for you and your children. Most of the time they will have a free consultation but know they won't spend a great amount of time or answer all your questions for free. They have to make a living too lol.

My suggestion is consult with the attorney prior to speaking with your husband. You need to have all your ducks in a row and plan for worst case scenario and hope for best case when you begin your discussions with your husband. But the bottom line is you need to be prepared *before* you talk to him.

Call an attorney and find out what your state laws allow. I would suggest holding-off on the letter. Anything that is put in writing is permanent.

Many attorneys will charge a fee for a consultation, but that fee may be waived if you use them for the divorce. Separation is a legal process and has specific parameters regarding finances and visitation. My MIL recently sought-out legal advice regarding separation and was surprised by how technical it really is, so be prepared to have your relationship examined and put through the technicalities of the legal system.

Don't let this surprise your husband because it will only make a bad situation worse. Sit down with him (after you have spoken with a lawyer to make sure this is REALLY what you want) and put it all out there. Make sure your children are not in the house and (if he's violent) make sure you have a quick and safe way to leave.

If he agrees to counseling, then go. If he doesn't then you have a plan in place and you can ask him to leave.

I'm sad you have gotten to this point, I hope he and you will be able to discuss the issues, I will like everyone does recommend counseling first, so few people (particularly men) actually know how to communicate, and even among those of us who do, it can be difficult when we feel we are being accused of treating the one we love carelessly. That said, many matrimonial attorneys will allow a free consultation.....there is a government based website that lists attorneys in your area and their standing, it helps to have a friend or family member who had a good experience and can recommend one. As far as one of you leaving, it is very important you discuss your options with an attorney first....do it today....even the phone book, as long as there's no fee what do you have to lose? Still, I'm hoping if your husband understands how serious you are, he will finally listen/communicate. Good Luck!

You haven't said if he is verbally or physically abusive. If he is, you can apply for legal aid. The definition of abusive is a lot broader than you might think. In some states, it's illegal to yell in front of the kids at all. But keep in mind, that calling names can go both ways and if it's been mutual, he can also acuse you of being abusive.

If he has been screaming at you or slapping you or threatning you money wise, you can file for a court order of protection. That's the fastest way to get some child support going and to get the legal aid you could need.

If this is just marital bickering and you are getting kind of bored in the relationship, then you really should get a job first. Unless your husband is rather well off, I doubt that his child support would be enough to support you all.

You can not make him leave without a court order. I would also not suggest to lie in order to get one because that could come back to bite you in the arse.

I hope the 2 of you can work this out. It's a long, sad road no matter how civil you might try and make it.

Before you take the step of asking him to move out, have you saw the movie "Fireproof". I would suggest you try that first or while you get your financial ducks in order. Whether you divorce or not, you need some "me" money.

You never know what your spouse or you will become through the divorce process. The divorce process can bring out the worst in people. If he leaves or stays you will need money. Your own attorney is very necessary and that will cost you. Getting married is cheap but getting divorced isn't. Even the cheapest divorce is over $2,000.00 in fees.

If you intend to go through with a divorce, I would first go to the courts to try to see what the judges look like or at least learn their educational background. I find that selecting an attorney who has been in the business for at least 10 years with the same background as the judges may work to your favor.

But I think that Fireproof can help along with the book Love Dare.

Personally, I am curious as to your actual situation? Have you been together long? Is he abusive? What exactly is going on because to say "there has been some tension between us lately" does not sound like warranted divorce proceedings in my opinion. I think we've all had "some tension" with our spouses at one point or another. Have you tried counseling?

As a child of divorce myself, I highly suggest you making sure the relationship is actually toxic and the two of you have done all you can to better yourselves (therefore bettering the relationship) or tried to work together through something like counseling.

I have not seen a divorce yet where the children didn't end up siding with one parent over the other and usually the one they go against is the one they blame for the divorce.