Need Help with 15Th Month Old Who Throws a Fit When I Say NO in Public

Updated on December 11, 2006
C.B. asks from Littleton, CO
5 answers

My daughter is 15 months old for the last 2 months when I tell her NO she throws herself on the ground, I usually just ignore her when we are at home but it has made it difficult to do it when we are out in public, she is at that age where she wants to touch EVERYTHING and I have to watch her every move (especially out in public) because she is liable to break something or throw someones food on the floor (We went to a Christmas party last night and she almost did that)---When I get down to her level and tell her NO she throws a fit and throws herself to the floor kicking and screaming and then she has EVERYONES attention. Like I said when we are at home she is fine because I ignore her so now she has learned not to do it at home because she isn't going to get what she wants and she listens, but it has been difficult to do this in public with everyone giving her the attention when she throws these fits, its seems like she know excatly what to do and it seems to be getting worse everytime we venture out--does anyone eles have this problem and any advice to put a handle on it before it turns into a huge nightmare just to take my daughter out of the house. Thanks

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So What Happened?

Well in the last month she has gotten alot better, I guess it was just a phase but I did start leaving the situation and before you know it she is a much better little girl in the store and when I say NO she listens...thank you for all your advice!!!

More Answers

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S.

answers from Philadelphia on

You are not alone! I'm going through the same thing with my 19 month old. I talked to my pediatrician and she said it is totally normal and that it is a phase that most children go through. She suggested to try doing errands and going to the store without my son. Now I try to do that even if it means going at night after he is in bed. Even though I am exhausted, it is much nicer not to have the stress while shopping. But of course there are times when I have to take him and when he acts like that I try to keep my discipline the same as at home. I get down to his level and tell him "that's enough, it's time to get up off the floor and we will be leaving shortly". I try to leave as soon as I can but if I am at the cash register or something, I let him cry and ignore it until we get to a quieter place. People stare at us but I try to think that if they are a parent they hopefully understand. It is incredibly frustrating but I keep telling myself that if I stay consistent and firm that eventually I will see results! I'm sure you will too, but it will probably take a few more embarrassing moments unfortunately! Good luck.

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S.P.

answers from Philadelphia on

Remove her from the situation.

For one, I wouldn't take her anywhere if there is something she could break during a tantrum.

Second, Instead of saying no, take her for a walk. Walk her into another room where you can effectively put her in a time out if need be.

If all else fails, you may just need to not take her out into public until this phase ends. For places you absolutely must take her, trust me, people - especially parents - know that children have tantrums. When she does have one, simply pick her up and walk her out.

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M.M.

answers from Erie on

When my daughter was younger she did the same thing, and when ever she would I wouldn't scream yell or say anything I would just pick her up and leave where ever we were. If we were at dinner with friends or family I would take her to the car and wait and I would explain that nobody came to dinner to hear her scream and yell and that when we are good we get to stay and have fun. I know have three year old triplets and I'm doing it all over again with them. Just the other day I left a very full grocery cart in the middle of an aisle because of them was having a fit about not getting C.. I asked him to stop and told him if he didn't we will leave without getting anything, he didn't and I got all three together and left. I can be a major pain for me because now I need to go back and do all of the shopping again but it worked with my daughter and it's working with them also.

E.A.

answers from Erie on

What they said lol. Leave the situation, don't be too wordy in your explanation (she will just tune you out anyway after the first 10 words or so) and don't get too emotional, just act very matter of fact, "Well, honey, people who act like that in public/at gma's house/etc... need to leave because it disturbs others." Get down on her level and say it right to her. Then leave, don't make her walk if she's too far gone, just get outta there. She is unable to control her emotional response to the situation, so you need to be in control for her until she gets her bearings. The key to this is not to berate her the whole time. Wait until she calms down to talk about it more (I often refused to talk in the car, they had to wait until we got home). She's a little young for a conversation about it, but talk to her a little and then give her time to process the information.

And if she does it again, tell her "I said if you did this we have to leave, it's obviously too hard for you to deal with this right now, " but I would bet she may only do it one more time. My kids each did it one time until I took them out of the place. Just the threat of leaving changed their tune on future outings.

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L.Z.

answers from Lancaster on

Hi C.,

When my son was that age, he did the same thing! He tried it at a mall one time and i just told him he can scream all he wants, It doesnt embarass me at all. You will want to ignore her in public just as you did at home. It takes some patience, and people will look at you funny at first, not understanding why you let your daughter do that, but she will get to the point that she will stop because she isnt the center of attention.

Good Luck!

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