My 31 yr. old sister lives in NM and has two kids 6 & 3. She separated 1 yr. and 9 mos. ago and has been caring for her two kids with gov. assistance (HUD, WIC, & food stamps) and with NO financial assistance from their dad. She found out Wed. (when the divorce was finally final!) that their father gets sole custody of the kids and she will only be able to see them every other weekend! The judge ordered for her to be the one who drives 5 hrs. each way to pick them up and drop them off to their father.
According to the “guardian lawyer” that was involved in the case she lost custody because she makes less money than he does, works in a restaurant/bar as a waitress, and didn't finish her nursing degree.
She works nights so grandpa used to care for her kids when she was at work. Now with their father, they will be away from their families (both grandparents live in the same town) and friends, and the three year old will be in daycare all day.
My sister said she is getting a new lawyer and going to appeal the case to try to get her kids back. If you know of any government resources (free/cheap) to help single moms in her situation please respond to this request so I can check it out on the internet for her. (She doesn't have internet access.) My heart goes out to her and I don't even know what to say to help her. She is in need of a low cost good lawyer in NM and maybe counseling. She won’t answer her phone she is so depressed and is drinking. Thank you for any help.
So my sister was drinking because of loosing her kids and the day she gave them to the father she went out and did some heavy drinking that lasted about three days she now stopped that (so she told me) and is mad. She has 30 days to appeal the case. We are trying to get her a good lawyer still. Thank you for all the advice and helpful information.
What part of NM? I'm from NM and may have some suggestions, I don't know the costs, but these would be TOP NOTCH ATTORNEYS.
Could you tell us what part of the state she is in? If it is around Las Cruces (southern NM) my husband could possibly ask if his lawyer knows someone. We recently went through a custody battle between NM & AZ, we lost though :(.
Out here there is a program called FLAP..... On Thursdays at the MEsa courthouse you can speak with a lawer for free... But What I did on my child custody case was I dug and went to the law library on it and found laws to help me in my case.... But it took a lot of digging... I mean alot... If you want to email me and I can tell you more... ____@____.com
T. K
If she is drinking heavily, she likely has an alcohol problem, which may be the true cause of her losing custody. The best thing she can do is go to AA and get sober. Drinking is only going to ensure she doesn't get the children back.
First things first. Your sister is depressed and drinking. That's an important issue that needs to be resolved. If your sister wants her kids back. She needs to change a lot of things. Yes perhaps another lawyer is needed, I do not have the whole story. Your sister needs help. She needs to be confidant in herself again. If she so desperatley needs her kids back then she needs to prove it. Make it known that she can take care of her kids. Get back in school, finish nursing, get a better job( with medical coverage), and move out of her parents house. If she has all that going for her, there would not be an issue over custody. Let alone joint custody. It sounds to be your sister needs to get her priorities straight or she won't see her kids anymore. They need a proper role model and as of right now the kids are better off with out her, unless she chooses to make the right and necessary choices for her kids.
Hi K.
I don't have much advice, but just a thought really: maybe your sister could see if there is a law school nearby that offers free legal advice to the community. I am at Texas Tech law school and I know that we offer that service.
This is the link to the institute of public law for the University of New Mexico law school. I had a quick look and they offer some assistance to the public but it did not look like they dealt with family law. If she/you do speak with them, ask if they deal with other forms of dispute resolution: maybe this is something best kept out of the courts and dealt with by communication?
I am sure you are aware of this already, but in order for your sister to be able to make a good case on appeal she really has to stop drinking and curb her depression. These things will strongly count against her.
I feel really bad for your sister. I hope things get better
K.,
I am really not buying that a judge ordered her to drive 5 hours to pick them up and drop them off unless she is only getting visitation rights that require either supervision or no overnights. Also, I know that making less money than another parent does not lead to less custody of your children. The state has laws that provide child support guidelines to add remedy to this sort of thing. Her choice of where she works is also not a factor that a judge considers when it comes to custody of children unless it interferes with their well-being somehow. There are many parents out there who have never finished their schooling and this never effected their custody either. Obviously there is something else that led to your sisters loss of custody. I see that someone has already given you the information on New Mexico Legal Aid. This is what I would suggest as well. Also, in a case like this....it is not an "appeal". It's odd that you use that word because that is the kind of thing you might say in a Criminal Case. In this sort of situation, your sister would simply file a motion for modification of custody, however it sounds like there is much more involved here and a Guardian Ad Litem is involved as well. This is usually because the judge feels that the children need their own legal representation. At this point, your sister may have been ordered to follow a specific parenting agreement until further court hearings are scheduled. However if you feel that she was represented unfairly, she definitely needs to find some legal aid. My advice to you is that your sister is obviously in a rough spot in her life and the truth is always what sets people free. I admire your attempt at trying to find help for her. You are a great sister and friend. You would be even better to let her know she needs to straighten herself out or she may find herself regretting it for the rest of her life. I wish her the best and I hope that this gives you some insight into the courts decision. I also recommend looking up her case on www.nmcourts.com.
I would not know where to start, but there are probono(not sure of spelling?)A few years back I found my father in law a free lawyer to help him get custody of his daughters kids. I can't even remember now how I found him, in the phone book under goverment pages somewhere. I am sure NM has the same. Good luck,
Hello.
I live in NM. Sometimes the church gives you advice. I found this, maybe it can help your sister. This office also serves as a liaison between members and the services provided by social and government agencies
http://www.dioceseoflascruces.org/family/html/famlife.html
Good Luck. I'll pray for you.
Have your sister contact Legal ____@____.com can not represent her, but can give her ample information on who can help her. It is low income, so she need only bring proof of governmtnet assistance. Tell her to be sure to ask for the Free Proccess Packet, if she gets any papaer work. Once she fills those out she doesn't have to pay for the paperwork. Also helpful can be Legal ____@____.com they may just tell her to contact Legal Fact. Best of luck to your sister. These things are never easy, and quite lonely.
My heart goes out to you and your sister and the children involved. I would think she could fight the visitation rights given her financial situation. Others have given great advice as to who to contact about that. Her biggest detriment to regaining custody and appealing visitation seems to be her drinking problem. It is my prayer that she will address this first as this will destroy her ability to appeal and it is not in the children best interest or her own.
Ummm, first of all, this is not legal advice, this is just information. But you are either not giving or getting all the information.
1) The drinking. This was probably the real reason for the custody ruling in the first place. The reasons you mentioned wouldn't give rise to a loss of custody and a visitation schedule that you mentioned. Drinking would.
2) You don't "find out" about custody unless you weren't at a custody hearing so your lawyer has to call you. Which is why the guardian ad litem had to tell her why she lost custody. I promise you the entire conversation wasn't repeated back to you completely. The guardian ad litem makes recommendations to the court, representing the children. The fact that the mother wasn't at the custody hearing probably lost her serious points with the judge.
3) Legal aid may be able to help her, but not until she gets that drinking under control.
Well, I hope that every thing goes well with your sister my heart goes out to her I know that it is hard but, why don't you try to talk to her about finish her school work. As well while she works so that she will ahve a better job so that they will give her sole custody back who in there right mind will give the kids to the father if he has not been there for them (children) You need to talk to her about her drinking because that will not get her any where she has to atsy strong not only for her self but for her kids so that they will know that there mom did try to get them back
thanks for letting me respond
S.
Does NM have legal aid because I am in her same situation but I wasn't married. I called the legal aid her in tucson and they helped me out and explained things to me. It is to bad that she didn't live in AZ because the state law says the parent that has been caring for the children the last 6 months is granted custody.
HI, I too am single parent and went through the same sort of situation. I was at the time a LPN and received help (FREE) from legal aid services but that was in Colorado. Perhaps there in something like that in NM. Look into it, it's worht a try. Good luck and God Bless!
Hello K.,
I really don't have much legal advise, but I do know that if your sister is drinking that only lessens her chance at winning an appeal. I can only imagine how hard this is on her but she really needs to keep things together because it will all be brought out and used against her. I wish her all the best and my prayers will be with her and her children. God bless. E.
In Phoenix there's an organization called the Women's Resource Center that offers free legal services. I would call and ask if they know of any similar establishments in NM. I feel bad for your sister, but I can understand a judge's standpoint--receiving govnt assistance, no degree, etc. Also, the fact that she's now drinking and depressed will not help her case. I'm not trying to be judgemental, just open-minded enough to see the case from a judge's perspective. She's going to have to do the same if she's going to get her kids back. Can she enroll in school again? Get a second job to save extra money (taking advantage of extra time dad has kids). Has she looked for medical-related jobs that would allow her to gain experience while going to school? I wish her luck.
If your sister happens to be in the greater ABQ area she might want to contact the Women's Resource Center at UNM. I don't know anything about custody law, or law in general, but I met some of the women who were involved over there when my daughter was small and I was involved in a local playgroup. Some were very active in women's rights issues and worked or volunteered in areas that might be helpful to your sister. Even if she doesn't live in ABQ it might be a good place to start anyway.
My heart goes out to your sister. I did the legal part of my divorce myself and was fortunate enough to win custody. I couldnt imagine being without my girls. I will pray for your sister and her children.
