Our old neighbors came to town for a family event and like always, stopped by. My dd mentioned how cute the girl was in PreK and the mom asked if we were looking at old photos. My d told her that when she was at a friend's, it was hanging up and that she never even knew the girls were best friends in preK. She remembers playing with both kids, but never together.
The mom was highly upset and sent the girls to play then asked me a ton of questions. She made it clear the girls were never close, the mom was lying about playdates, and she was uncomfortable and felt creepy like they were stalkers, though she knows that is an overreaction. Still, she asked how many photos were up and there are only three. My d had repeated a bunch of stories the mom told her about the girl that were not true(sleepovers, park, skating). All I could think was the mom made the stories up to make her girl feel better since she never had even one friend until this year. They lie about other things too. I gave my old neighbor the ladies number when she asked, but I don't think there is something to worry about. What do you think?
I was there when the mom told the stories. We believed them and thought it was sweet they did all this fun stuff together. My daughter was surprised they did slumber parties when the girl got scared at our house and went home at 9 every time.
The 2 other photos are from this year of girls she actually plays with. I have seen them together.
The lying is really weird, but I really think she chose the girl who moved because then it was like "i had a friend, but she moved." the neighbor had to go home last night and decided to drop it after talking to her own mother who knows the woman.
I asked her about them and she told me things that the mom said that were lies back then. She also was inappropriate, asking personal questions about who lives in the house, did she have an alarm system, did she have a dog. It sounded like she was looking to break in their house!
You've known this former neighbor and if she isn't one to be really dramatic over normal things then she must have a reason to be alarmed. It's sad the other girl didn't or doesn't have friends, however, I would take this as a cue for the time being and keep any children you may have in sight when around their family until you know more details. I would have to ask her to please share the details she called "creepy, stalker, etc."
I would not hesitate to put up pictures of my daughter-- even if she was playing with "just an neighbor". It would never occur to me to ask the neighbor girl's parents if they mind me hanging a picture of our girls. (Nor does it bother me who displays pictures of my kids.) Surprise me maybe, but not bother me.
I'm not sure why you are being involved in this, as you are a 3rd party who doesn't really know the truth and can't do anything about the pictures.
I don't really get the big deal about the pictures being up - the kids were obviously friendly at one point, and did take pics together. Just because they aren't BFF's or super close now doesn't mean the pictures shouldn't be up.
Also, I don't really think the M. is lying out of bad intentions, she is trying to make her daughter feel good about herself & boost her confidence. There is a huge difference between lying out of malice and telling white lies. In this case, some white lies were told to spare a little girl's feelings. Oh, the horror...
I think the freaked out M. is being dramatic. The other M. is not stalking her or her child. She is not peering at them from the bushes & prank calling their home. Tell the freaked out M. to contact the M. with the pictures, if she's really that worried about it. Trash talking this other M. really isn't going get anyone anywhere. It all sounds grossly blown out of proportion to me.
It matters, is it like I "my kids on the swing set and the neighbor kids happen to be in the background eating sand" pictures or like "I photoshopped my daughter hugging yours and am displaying it in my living room" pictures?
the latter or creepy, the former, Oh who cares. The lying seems weird though...
it sounds like wierd family - but since your friends have moved away i don't think it's a big deal. my son's preschool teacher takes group pictures of the kids and hands them out. my son loves them and puts them in a picture book. i know this is the age of electronic paranoia and facebook stalkers etc, but i don't see that going on here. maybe i'm just being too blase about it...don't know.
Well this previous neighbor woman that you know, seems to have a weird vibe about that family.
For some reason.
And, sometimes gut instincts is for a reason.
Maybe they had in the past, 'weird' interactions with that other woman.
Which you would not know.
But for some reason, she is creeped out, by the fact that ALSO, that the other woman makes up stories about her daughter and the other girl having all kinds of playdates and outings together. Which did not happen.
So, thusly... this is, disturbing.
To what extent... only she as a M., feels.
And to predict why that other M. lied about all that, is anyone's guess.
But still, no one will know, why.
Obviously to me.... your previous neighbor/friend, has reason to be creeped out by all of this. As she expressed to you.
And she/her family/daughter, may have had previous weird interactions or questionable things happen before... so NOW, she is still weird-ed out by it. And that this other woman is STILL.... lying about how the girls had all these 'imagined' play-dates together, which did NOT happen. And that their photos are on this woman's walls.
So combined all together... this scenario, is unnerving, to your neighbor friend.
Now, imagine if that were you... and another woman was making up imagined play-dates about your own daughter and her daughter and had photos of both children, on her walls???
Is that not.... odd?
The thing is: your neighbor friend, is 'suspicious' of that other woman and all the lies being made up about her daughter and that other woman's daughter. Stories, which are made up and completely false... and did not happen. And that other woman is telling other people, ALL about these imagined play-dates and accompanying made up stories to go along with it. AND they 'lie about other things too."
Is that not odd?
So yes, I would be, oddly taken aback too, or suspicious... of that woman. IF I were the M..
But, so it is up to your neighbor friend, to follow up on it or not.
I have photos up of my daughter and her friends from preschool.
My daughter is now 8.
BUT... my daughter DID have play-dates with those friends. They were friends. For real. And so of course, my daughter remembers it and them too.
Again, maybe your neighbor friend is freaked out about it... because they had PREVIOUS weird interactions, with that other woman.
But that is, their issue.
We have a large painting in our living room of our daughter with 3 of her neighborhood friends from when they were about 3. It is a watercolor.
One of my husbands coworkers painted it when she saw the photo of the girls on his desk. She loved the faces and the costumes. So yes, he even had a photo of other children on his desk, because the photo is so wonderful.
It is a magical photo of the 4 girls hugging and laughing at a birthday party on Halloween.. They are all wearing the cutest costumes.. It was in an art Gallery.
I purchased it from her as a fathers day gift the next year.
I wouldn't think so much like stalking, but sad. We had neighbors who were forever trying to make their own children look better in the eyes of the world, and it made those two kids confused, and more than likely destroyed whatever social possibilities they may have had on their own. In our neighbors' case, it was more like name-dropping and uncontrollable lying, overeager press agents grasping at any possible straw. I never felt they were stalking.
I think it's a little weird this woman has several pics of someone else' kid in her home.. even if they were playing with her daughter... but it doesn't sound like it's stalkerish. I don't have pictures of my kids playing with other peoples kids in my home. Then again, I hardly have any pictures hanging up at all. But, if there was an amazingly adorable pic of my kid hugging some neighborhood kid or something, I would for sure display it if it was cute. Oh well.
That is creepy. The other lady may just be a harmless liar. Update us when your neighbor makes contact.
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welll, my take on this is yeah it would weird me out at little unless the pict was super super cute.
BUT what i keep coming back to is that my own sweet darlings that are totally truthful, sometimes get things mixed up.
They also sometimes confuse pictures of people that have similar characteristics. Their cousin is adopted from Tiwan (sp) and when they see a little asian boy they often call that child by their cousins name even though the other child is from a different part of asia and doesnt' really look the same. Or they tell a story that i think is about so and so and then halfway through i realized they are talking about a different so and so.
So I guess unless you have seen this picture and heard the M. lie about it, i would hesitate to accept all you have heard without questioning it a bit. although you did say this family with the pictures lies about other things??
