Neighbors

I want to comment about the little boy in the road. I think you should call DFS and report them. I don't see a need to speak with them about it. You are not qualified to counsel them on how to raise their children, and if they become upset because someone is intruding on their child-raising, I don't think you need to be at the bad end of it. Also, if you call DFS, it can be anonymous, so they won't retaliate against you if they do get mad. Just because you call DFS doesn't mean the child will get taken away from his family. It just means that DFS will investigate the matter, and it will be on record that a report has been made against them. If they truly are unfit, after so many calls or complaints, further action should be taken.

Until you have definite proof to talk to them about with the coming into your yard bit, I wouldn't tell them just yet. Sounds like you could cause more harm. When we had problems with neighbors, we were told to take pictures. I always had my digital camera out and ready to take pictures. (It was mostly of teenage boys cutting school.) Still. We had parents that were in complete denial so it was our only proof.
That's scary about the 2 year old. Touchy thing. If you do say something there could be problems but if you don't, you may be putting the child at harm. Keep a journal or notes in case you ever need to report anything.
Best of luck to you. Awful when you don't have a good relationship with your neighbors.

Hi K. - unfortunately, you will have to talk to your neighbours, at least about the little boy. You wouldn't want something to happen to him and then wish yao had said something before. I would try to be as casual as possible about it, so it doesn't seem accusatory to them. As for the backyard issue, is this something that really bothers you? If so you could speak to them about it, otherwise I would just get a lock for my fence. They even make ones that will beep loudly when opened, this might startle the kids! You are right not to want a fued, being in good standings with your neighbours is always a good thing and can be very helpful at times. Good Luck!

Hi K.,

I agree with most of the responses you got already so I am not going to repeat things here, just thought that may be you need to start a relationship with that grandma. May be bringing some cookies for the kids? That way you can start a conversation and they have something to be thankfull and next time they might be friendlier:) You will be able to go to their home and say that you found the little boy very close to the road...

Hope it helps,

Mariana Abadie
www.MyKidsFirst.com

1st - get a lock for your gate - not because you don't trust your neighbors but because even if you SUSPECT someone in your yard when you are not home you ahould have a lock. I just recently talked to my insurance guy and he recommended a lock because we are going out of town. God forbid those kids are in your yard and something happens to one of them. You could be proven negligent just because you don't have a lock. If you have a lock and they jump the fence you won't be liable.
As for the 2 year old if you see him in the street again I would go and get him and take him to his house and that will give you the perfect opportunity to talk to whoever answers about where you just found there son/grandson.
Now for the older kids - the next time they are acting up get your video camera (hopefully you have one) and open the door or go where they will see you and pretend to tape them. I did this with some neighbors of mine and they never even left their yard again when I was home. I'm sure they thought I was going to go to the police or something. I don't know if this will work for you - the kids I did it to were climbing my fence to get the the school property in the area and the FREAKED out when they thought I was taping them - haven't done it since.- Good Luck

I think its so important to communicate with neighbors before assuming the worst about them. Please talk to them as a concerned parent in a non-threatening manner as you also have young children you are worried about on the busy road. Also, both the grandmother and this dad are adjusting to one another so they both may be overwhelmed with the situation and some kindness and caring from a neighbor may be what they need to help them cope right now. Our society is so quick to judge, call attorneys or state offices without simply "talking" to one other about the issues first. Now, if once you discuss things with them and they don't seem to respond or care, then additional measures may need to be taken.