Never Received Anything for Mother's Day - What Should I Say?

YOu should most definitily be appreciated and aknowledged on mothers day!! I do not think you should feel the least bit bad about saying something, especially if he aknowledges his mom on the day! It is a hallmark holiday but it is nice to be appreciated and aknowledged on a special day!

"I know I am not your mother but I am the mother of your children and I feel hurt that you are not helping our children learn how to acknowledge me on Mother's Day. This is a day for mothers to feel appreciated and loved and I would like to feel that way this year. Homemade cards, an offer to cook for the day, some extra hugs and thank yous would all be welcome."

I had to spell it out for my DH in a similar way. He still struggles a bit, not because he doesn't love me but because he never learned how to handle any holidays very well. But he at least is making an effort since I spoke with him.

Sometimes DH's don't get it! LOL! According to my DH, the 1st Mother's Day after we were married, it never occurred to him to get me anything, after all, I'm not "his" mother. My oldest DS is not his biologically (though he has adopted him), and even after we had a child together, it just still never occurred to him that he should recognize me as the 'mother' of his children. I of course wasn't saying anything because I felt he should "know". Talk about needing communication!

Let your DH know what you feel you need. If it's a card, gift, flowers or other acknowledgement....TELL HIM! Doesn't make it any less special, but it sure helps to deal w/the resentment of him not doing anything and you feeling awful. I'm happy w/DH just saying something to me, showing me that he realizes how important I am to him in caring for his children. Sometimes he even suprises me w/a card or flowers! I learned my lesson though and have told him what I feel I need. Sure made a difference.

Since he acknowledges the day for his mom, then he does see the importance in it. So, remind him that someone (maybe his dad?) must have taught him about the day's significance at one point, and it is just one of those things that you need to help your kids with until they can do it on their own. I wouldn't suggest a gift from him, though, that's not what it's about. Maybe if he's not the crafty type, you could suggest he take the kids to a dollar store to pick out their own gifts for you, just to get the experience in. It can be pretty funny what a 3 year old thinks of as something mom wants :)

I think you have a few ways to go on this. I think you just need to figure out what will make you the happiest, and what is most realistic in your situation.

You could sit down and have a little chat w/hubby. Maybe he just is so new to being a parent, that he isn't clued in yet to the fact that you are a mom, deserve some attention too, and aren't going to get it unless he steps up. Obviously your girls are too young to initiate your celebration themselves, and he is the one to do it - just tell him so.

Or you could go subtle. Check out from the library some kid's books (or buy) some books that talk about celebrating Mother's Day. We just had a Blues Clues one that my daughter liked. That book mentioned making breakfast for mom, giving a gift, flowers, taking a picture of mom and kids to celebrate the day, etc. That should at least lead to conversation w/your kids/hubby, if not get them asking to do these things themselves.

Or you could go outside of the family for your recognition. My MIL has always been incredibly thoughtful with sending a M's Day card to me every year. Perhaps you could drop a hint to your MIL or mother, and I would think your own mother would love to do this for you, if she knew it meant something to you. The grandmas could help your kids with their cards/cookies/crafts too, depending upon how often they see the kids and such. Another way to share support is through your mom network - emailing or sending cards to your close girlfriends recognizes them, and they might do the same for you. It's nice to get that recognition wherever you can get it :-)

Finally, you could just organize the holiday yourself - just like women are the ones who make Christmas happen, etc. You could take your kids to storytime or somewhere that a Mom's day activity/craft was happening, or do the card-making, etc, yourself at home. You could find a gift you wanted (Things Remembered picture frame w/special photo, etc) and purchase it, and tell your hubby it was your mom's day gift. Or start a special tradition, as other posters have mentioned.

It would be great if someone would step up on this without you saying anything. However, this is real life, and in my life, I've found that things don't happen sometimes unless momma makes them happen!

Happy Mother's day in advance, and know that you ARE appreciated and are doing meaningful work! :-) Good luck!

I would make it clear what your wishes are. Tell him that you admire how he calls his mom on Mother's Day. And now, since your oldest is 3, he can start teaching her how to honor you on that day, too.

If you want to go somewhere or do something special that day, say so! It doesn't have to be expensive, and you don't have to get a gift to feel honored. "I'd really like it if we went on a picnic" or "I'd really like you to make me breakfast in bed", or whatever it is that you want. Good luck.

A.,

Some husbands need their expectations spelled out for them. Some think that on Mother's Day they are just supposed to acknowledge their own mother and when their kids get older, they will do the same. If it bothers you, don't think that harboring resentment or acknowledging him on Father's Day is going to give him a clue - if that was going to happen, it would have happened by now.

Just calmly explain to him - and with sufficient time before Mother's Day - that because you are the mother of his children, you would like him to acknowledge you on Mother's Day. Also, your kids are still too little to do it on their own, so you would like your husband to help them give you a happy Mother's Day until they can do it independently.

I went through this with my husband and know other women who have, too. Our hubbies aren't bad, they are just a little clueless and need some direction. After my husband realized how important this was to me because I explained it to him (and gave up on having hurt feelings or giving him a silent example on Father's Day) he caught on. He makes me feel especially loved and cherished on Mother's Day and gives the kids some direction and assistance so they can learn to do the same. Several years ago we mostly stopped doing gifts for every holiday. We decided that living debt free and working towards early retirement was a better gift for us.

Good luck,
S.

I wouldn't feel bad saying something to my husband, but his responce would be "You're not my mom." That's the way guys think. I get a gift on mothers day every year, but it also lands on the same weekend as my birthday every year. My husband took all three of our kids to the nursery and let them all pick out a plant for my garden to plant with me on Mothers day last year.
The other thing you could do is talk to his mom about it. If I told my MOther in law that it bothered me that my husband did not help my kids celebrate Mother's day for me, she would totally get on board with encouraging him to do something. Sometimes guys just need to be told what to do like a list or instructions. And if you don't feel comfortable asking for what you want get help from another woman to say something to him.

Some men are just not good at planning things and/or doing something special for someone. My husband is one of those people, but it actually works out to my advantage. I tell him exactly what I want and this way I get what I want rather than a gift that I don't need or really want. I do this for my birthday and Mother's Day. I've gone shopping, splurged, didn't feel bad about spending the money, and came home and showed my husband what he just got me. I also tell him what kind of food I want, so that he can pick a restaurant. And, I never just stay quiet. A couple of weeks before my birthday or Mother's Day I start telling him/reminding him about it and I start letting him know what I want. It may not be romantic, but I get what I want and we do what I want, so I'm very happy. Good luck.

Yes; my husband doesn't do mothers day for me either, and after a while you'll get use to it( married 30 years), , my kids how every are very good about it, when they were small i'd have them help me make my day special, pictures for me, even making cards for me, then when went to school they always made something for mothers day. as for fathers day yes i'd do things for him or help the kids but that's why we're the mothers.

You both teach your little girls everything, right? This is the ONE THING that he must teach your little girls all by himself, how to honor their mother on Mother's Day. He must be their teacher until they can do it for themselves. And believe me, you must treat yourself well that day and don't lift a finger! I don't!

I am a little different than some of the others in that I wouldn't tell him at all what your wishes are, simply because I grew up with a Dad that did whatever was needed on this holiday simply b/c he felt obligated (my mom has told him), and we knew that and it actually made the day uncomfortable. I would make cards for your mom and your mother-in-law and help the girls make one for you and then plan something special for you and the girls, ...my boys love to take me out for coffee and hot cocoa at a coffee shop. Invite your husband, but if he's not into, have fun yourself! Your husband will get the drift one of these years when he is ready, or when his daughters tell him what to do :) Be glad your girls are watching you so make it fun and they will remember that - even going card shopping can be exciting. Hope that helps... and if you do tell your husband your wishes I hope he makes the day special for you.

Wow - I would be so pissed if I were you! Your guy needs to appreciate you as a mother and get your kids involved too. How can he not "get it" when you acknowledge him on Father's Day, but you get no appreciation on Mother's Day?? I'm baffled by this guy!! I think you should say something. But you could say, "I don't expect a gift or anything, but a card and some appreciation would be nice." Good luck to you! You deserve so much praise being a great mommy of 2 little ones!! I have 2 the same age! Happy Mom's Day!!

I think you should have talked to him a long time ago about this, but you can still do it now.

You should frame it in different terms, though. If you talk about "getting" stuff he may take it as a present grab. Instead, frame it as wanting to feel appreciated on Mother's Day.

I don't get presents for Mother's Day. However, on my first Mother's Day we went out to eat and then went to the Walker Sculpture Garden with our baby, and had such a nice time it has been our tradition every year since. I really like it that I go to the sculpture garden with my family every Mother's Day.

In addition, we go out for brunch (I really love going out for breakfast!). I also get cards from my kids, and from my husband.

I also usually get some alone time...One year I went for a pedicure with a friend.

The end result is that I feel loved and appreciated and special on Mother's Day (okay, on other days, too!). Just tell your husband that you would like to feel appreciated.

Good luck -- I hope it goes well.

A. D

I know how you feel - been there. And we all know it's not about a gift it's just about recognition for a job well done!

I used to make a stink about it but then I realized that if didn't come from your loved ones naturally, it wasn't worth the effort.

So one mother's day, I annouced that I was going out and that I had things to do. I basically made my own Mother's day. I took the day to do what I wanted to do. I went to a movie, then I went to a restaurant and then I took a walk through a park. When I came home (many hours gone) they all questioned me as to where I had to go. I told them that I had to take care of myself since no one else felt the need to recognize me or my needs.

I received recognition every year since then. Usually it's a day free of obligation, which to me is worth more than any gift they could think of.

Don't know if it'll work for you but it couldn't hurt and at least you'll get some well deserved time to yourself.

C. J.

Hi, A.! TELL HIM that it would mean a lot to you for him to remember Mother's Day for YOU, as well as his mom! :)

You know, men can be clueless when it comes to holidays, cards, gifts, etc. I think as women we think men should get this, since we tend to remember special days and make much of them for our family and friends. But they do not, unless you tell them. Tell your husband that this day is important to you, that cards are important to you, or flowers, or something, to acknowledge you. Tell him it would mean a lot if your children got in on it too. I don't think he's probably forgetting you on purpose; he's just not being purposeful in recognizing you.

I've let my husband know on numerous occasions that cards are important to me, because it shows me that he took initiative to think about me on a special holiday. And I've told him that it hurt my feelings when he's forgotten.

If it is important to you, then again, let him know. You will both be happier for it. :)

God bless!

Hi A.!
Please, PLEASE don't listen to some of the advice given to respond similarly with your husband by not acknowledging Father's day! This will do nothing but put fuel on the fire.
I do agree that you should talk to him about it...communication is one of the most important things in any relationship, but crucial in marriage. If he doesn't know how it bothers you, how can he attempt to change his behavior? This issue is important to you, and maybe if he sees that, He'll begin to think about why it is he wasn't acknowledging you on Mother's day. And if you don't say anything, I would be afraid that over time, you would start to resent him for it. So definitely talk to him, explaining that its the acknowledgment, not the gifts, that are important.
Good luck, and I'll say a prayer for you!

Amen to that, Amy L! Well said!

Of course you say something!!!

He can't read your mind. Tell him it has bummed you out to notice him call his mom on Mother's Day, but not acknowledge you as a mom. Tell him you'd love for him to maybe pick out a card for you, or at least to wish you a happy Mother's Day. If he (wants to) make anything more out of it, that's his prerogative. But, he can't fix it, if he doesn't know your feelings are hurt.

go buy yourself your favorite flowers....order dinner in-dont do a darn thing around the house...make the day for you...if hubbys that ignorant an selfish...take it upon yourself to pamper yourself....then on fathers day...blow it off...jmo

Mother's Day isn't a very big deal to me, but that being said, this would probably still bother me; and it's clear that it bothers you. Mostly I think it would bother me because, as you point out, he makes a point of wishing his mom a happy mother's day. So obviously the holiday means enough to him to make an effort, just not for you.

If this is important to you, then I would talk to him about it. Don't tell him "This is what I need you to do for me." I also grew up in a house where we had better have something good planned for Mother's Day or we'd be in trouble, and that sucked. Rather, explain what the day means to you and how it makes you feel when he makes an effort for his mom and not for you, the mother of his children. You're right, it's not about getting something; it's about feeling like you're recognized and acknowledged as the good mom that you are.

It may be a Hallmark holiday, and I do feel that way to a certain degree. But if it's important to you, then it's important to get him to understand that.

My husband is the same way! What I did was made him feel bad - my sister had asked me what I got for my first mother's day and I told her nothing. Well, she made a point to get me something from our son and when my husband asked about it I flat out told that my sister wanted Derek to get me something for mother's day. Well needless to say he always has done something since whether it is just having our son sit down and scribble with colors to make a mother's day card or whatever.

My opinion is to flat out tell him that it would be nice for him to at least acknowledge you on this day for all that you do for their children.

I agree with the other posters, you need to tell him. Sometimes our DH's fail to notice the obvious. I favor the direct approach. Sweetly tell him that Mother's Day is coming soon; and he needs to help your children pick out a gift and a card. Schedule some time this weekend, or whenever works best and send them on the errand. If it's not a "Hallmark" holiday for you, then what does it matter what anyone else thinks?

Leave out any arguments about the past holidays he, very wrongly, missed. Nothing can be done about the past now ;and I would give him the benefit of the doubt that helping your girls with Mother's Day just didn't occur to him.

Marriage should be about open communication. If your husband is doing something that hurts you... TELL HIM.

3-4 years is much too long to feel this way and not speak up. The longer you wait the harder the conversation will be and the more your feelings will hurt. Obviously he does not know you feel this way and nothing is going to change because you never shared your feelings with him.

With my hubby it is more remembering when it is, so what I do is remind him 'oh mother's day is coming up don't forget to get your mom a card' so at least he will get his mom a card and hopefully take my daughter along to experience it. My oldest will be 3 years old too, and I am unsure if/what my hubby is going to do with her for me. In the past he has done nothing BUT what I did was picked up a mom heart necklace for myself, my daughter was with me last year and I told her that this necklace represented my love for her and her love for me. I think I picked up 3 different ones and let her pick out one for me, so it was like her getting a gift for me I was just helping since she is still young.

Make it a fun day with your family, you pick out the place 'hey we are having breakfast for lunch at this place for Mother's Day' or 'for mother's day I would like to go here since I love there whatever.'

Not all men are planners, this is not because they don't care it is simple because they are not planners and have no idea of what to do. So if Mother's Day is a big thing for you (or you want it to be) then you plan it and when the kid(s) get older they will start planning it since they are growing up with the celebration.

Just a side note this is not a hallmark holiday (yes they make $$$ off the cards but they did not start it), the unofficial day was started by a women called Julia Ward Howe in 1872 way before hallmark even existed, it was declared a national holiday in 1914 by President Wilson after Anna Jarvis successfully won her campaign for Mother's Day and the Hall brothers started Hallmark in 1925. There even was a similar celebration traced all the way back to the seventeenth century in England called Mothering Sunday and over the centuries it has changed a bit but still honoring mother... check it out: http://www.chiff.com/a/mothers-day-history.htm

Dear A.,
How sad! Your husband is clearly clueless! Without getting into some deep psychological analysis of him I would make some obvious clues about how this is an important day for ALL MOMS and YOU should be recognized and honored with us!

Instead of asking for the obvious - a gift, I would tell your girls in front of your husband that you would like to do something special with them for Mother's Day - planting some flowers, going to your favorite restaurant, a picnic in the park, etc.... Then, I would have your girls make special Mother's Day cards for their Grandmothers or they could go to the store and pick out cards to give or send to them. Your girls will catch on and They will want to do the same for you.
My own daughter, who is 6, is so excited for Mother's Day. She's already making special plans and special cards for me. I know your daughters are young, but if you start doing this then they will transfer this special day to their own mother and eventually start asking your husband to do nice things for you.

For me, I like to plant flowers or start my garden. The kids all like to get the garden ready for me.

I'm sure your husband doesn't realize how hurtful he's being and thinks your girls are too young to wish you a happy Mother's Day. I would say something!

Oh, and Happy Mother's Day!

I would tell him straight out. You may not be his mother, but you are the mother to his children and as a parent, it is his responsibility to help his children to honor you on your special day (cards, homemade gifts, whatever...). My x husband wouldn't EVER celebrate Mothers Day because I wasn't his mother and it didn't seem to mean anything to him that I was the mother to his kids. When my kids were old enough to know understand about Mother and Fathers Day (from school), they totally refused to do anything on Fathers Day for him because he wouldn't help them do anything for me on my day and can you believe, he still doesn't understand why? (They are 14 and 17 now) Don't let this happen to you! Make it clear what you expect, you aren't being selfish, you are asking him to help your small children show appreciation to their mom on her special day at an age when they aren't able do this for themselves.

I've been married 21 1/2 years and although I have never been in your position I know a few people who have. If you don't feel comfortable saying something yourself then there are two things you could do. One is be sure to acknowlegde him on Father's Day and point it out to your kids in front of him and maybe add a friend of his or parents into the mix. Second, does your mother or his know that he has done this? If not mention it in passing to them now, like... "Are you doing anything Mother's Day?, maybe we could go out for lunch together because I'm sure XXX won't do anything. He hasn't yet." That usually gets a mother wound up.
My husband and I have a mutual agreement now. We've been together so long if we want something we say so. If you can't be straight forward with your spouse you are going to have trouble somewhere along the way. I myself would come straight out and say "Are you going to get me something for Mother's Day or should I do something for myself? Would you like to be included or should I plan something with me and the kids?"
Good luck

I also tried explaining to my ex that even though I wasn't his mother I was a mother. All I asked for was breakfast in bed like my daughter had been doing since she was 5 (cold toast, cereal and milk in box and jug since she couldn't pour and hot tea tha was more instant tea then lukewarm water), however even though I always remembered him on Father's Day (and he was a step) he wouldn't in 10 yrs EVER do anything for me on Mother's Day. Finally I decided it just wasn't worth it and if he didn't get it or care enough to acknowledge me on that day I'd forget it too. I never forgot him on Father's Day until the day we were divorced. Sadly I lost my daughter's breakfast in bed too since she felt he should help too. My daughter is now old enough to buy me something (more the the bedding plant her and a girlfriend shared for the two mothers one year)but I sure do miss her breakfasts in bed.

Good luck. Hopefully after talking to your husband and explaining your side your husband will get it, but I do agree if he doesn't you and the girls do something special on your special day. Might start a tradition on your own.
Happy Mother's Day to all of you out there.

hi A.:
Look up the history of Mother's Day, it is not just a Hallmark Day. Yes you should say something to your hubby. I have heard men say "you're not my Mom" and feel that they can slip on Mother's Day with that excuse. But you are the mother of his children and my personal feeling is that he is not respecting you nor is he teaching your to respect you. Speak up!

I would simply, if you don't want to sound like a mom looking for a gift, say that your three year old is able at this point to make you a mother's day card... and you'd like a real homemade one this year!! Tell him it would mean alot to you if him and your children sat down and made you something to honor you on this special day.

You are the MOTHER of HIS CHildren. It is his responsibility to help your kids acknowledge all that you do.

You have every right to feel slighted!

Best of luck,

E.

Don't buy the hallmark holiday or youre not MY mom comments. This is a big problem. Is he affectionate and loving in general? I would guess not. In my opinion, this is a bigger issue between the two of you. Youre not just wanting a gift..Sounds like you may be afraid of confrontation. You need to tell him that it wouldn't matter if it was a day off to do what you want, one meal you don't have to cook or a card made from a napkin. It is the thought (or lack of) that counts.

Of course you should say something! It doesn't have to be rude or mean, but you should communicate your wants.

If he didn't ever pick up after himself, you would say something, wouldn't you? It is no different.

And it could be that at this point he thinks that you don't want or expect anything because you haven't said anything for the last three. People can't read each other's minds so he is most likely going by your actions.

It doesn't even have to be a "material" gift. I have told my husband every year that all I want for Mother's day is time for me. For the first few mother's days he would still get me a gift but now he knows I am truly happy with just having a the day for me to do whatever I want, because as Mom's we very rarely get that :)

So say something!!!!! Say, "Hey honey, we haven't really done anything for Mother's Day since "jack" was born and I hope I haven't given you the impression that I don't care, because I do. I was thinking that maybe we could go get some breakfast and then stop and get a starbucks and go to the park. And by the way, I keep the crayons and paper in the closet by the bedroom if you wanted to help "jack" make a card for the Grandma's and Me. It would be very special to get something he made himself. I know I would love it and I am sure our Mom's would too"

This way you are not blaming him, you are reminding him and you are giving him a few ideas (because men aren't always the best at that) and if he still doesn't get it after that........................go buy your self something fabulous, some ear plugs and a bottle of wine, go directly home, put in the ear plugs, run a bath, open the wine and lock yourself in the bathroom for as long as you want!

This is my third Mother's Day, and I have never received anything either. I think it is infuriating, disrespectful, and heart breaking that I am not honored by my husband on Mother's day. It isn't about a gift because I don't need a gift (although flowers at work or some pampering wouldn't be off putting in the least). I just want him to do something thoughtful. Infact, since he's been without a job for over a year I understand he has no money, it isn't about a gift at all. A homemade card, or a dinner that doesn't come out of a box would be super. I am a teacher and I also have a part time job in an effort to support my family. Because of him, I am forced to spend an extra twenty to thirty hours a week away from my son, and it is about darn time he let me know I am appreciated. But it'll never happen, so there will be no Father's day in my house this year either.

I remember my mother telling me that she had to tell my dad that it was his job to acknowledge her for the kids before they were old enough to do it themselves. He needs to be told this. You cannot let this go. I don't think you need to try to be too "tactful" about it either. You should explain that it's not that you just want a gift - that's not what the occasion is about - it's about honoring the person who gave you life. He obviously recognizes this if he calls his mother.

At our house, we don't celebrate "hallmark" holidays, including birthdays. If you feel like you are respected and appreciated the other 364 days of the year, then I wouldn't make a stink about mother's day.

With that said, if you absolutely feel like this is important to you, you've talked to your husband about it and he still doesn't get it, then you need to take it upon yourself to make it a special day. Plan something, make reservations at a restaurant for the family, and tell your girls "It's mother's day, so we're going to brunch!" Eventually as the girls get older, you won't need to make the plans on your own, they will do it for you.

I think that's terrible that your husband doesn't even wish you a Happy Mother's Day! You are the Mother of his children! If it were me, I would bring the subject up first in a passive sort of way, just to feel it out. I'd maybe say "Oh, so and so from work said that her husband always does such and such for her on Mother's Day. Isn't that nice?" And she how he reacts to that. If he doesn't say much, then I'd come out and ask him... "So what are you planning on doing with the girls for me for Mother's Day?" If he throws a fit about having to do something, just explain that it's a good oportunity to teach the girls to honor their mother on this special day, and it's not about a gift or the cost of doing something, but the thought that counts. It could be simple like breakfast in bed, or letting you sleep in that morning, or having them make a home made craft or card for you, or getting a bubble bath ready for you that night. Whatever you can think of that would mean something to you. Men sometimes need to be guided. And I don't think it's wrong to give him suggestions or let him know what you'd like to happen that day. After all, it's Mother's Day and you deserve at least one day to honor all you've done as a mother!

I had to tell my husband that that's what husbands do for their wives the first year I was a mom. He just figured I wasn't his mom. But since then he's been great.

guys are pretty simplistic creatures... and maybe he doesnt know either what to do, or that it is even important to you. try to talk to him about it - saying things like 'i feel hurt that you havent recognized the day with me, and though im not mad at you, i would like you to know that doing something special for me would be really nice"
or something.
i mean, you dont want to sound angry, that will make him feel aweful, just the part about you being hurt might make him feel aweful. you have to make sure that he knows that you do forgive him for forgetting, but you want him to know that it is important to you that mothers day be recognized.

heres the other thing;
does he recognize the day with his mom or yours?

I know how you feel. Last year was my first Mother's Day and my husband didn't acknowledge it with a gift. He did call his mom and wish her a Happy Mother's Day. I guess it didn't occur to him that husbands recognize their wives, not just the children. I was a little upset about it, but didn't say anything at the time because I didn't want to seem like I was bucking for a gift either. After all, he had already given me the greatest Mother's Day gift of all-my son.
When Father's Day came around and I acknowledged him with a few gifts, he did realize his misstep.
If I were you, I would let him know how you feel that it is important that you both recognize each other as parents especially in the eyes of your children. It's just nice to feel appreciated, even if it is a "hallmark" holiday! Good luck!
A.

Shame on him!!! Mother's Day should be highly regarded - it's the 1 day a year that we have to be praised & pampered for the other 364 days we slave away with little thanks. (Same for Father's Day too!)

I would recommend that you have an open talk with your Husband. Simply express the fact that you would like to have a little attention/affection/time (whatever you want) on Mother's Day. Express that your feelings have been hurt, and that it's only fair that you help him to understand that it is important to you. There are so many ways to honor a Mom on Mother's Day - it doesn't mean spending a lot of money or doing anything elaborate. Give him a few simple ideas, and say how much it would mean to you. Then make sure to follow it up by asking him about his wishes for Father's Day.

I often find in situations like this, it simply doesn't mean a lot to him. That's ok, but it's important that he honor the things that are important to you. But biggest lesson with men - you gotta ask quite directly for what you want. They just don't necessarily take to vague hints very well. :)

I know you have gotten about a million responses, but I wanted to say something a little different. I noticed that as far as I got (I didn't read them all), about 100% said things like "you deserve it, it's his job, etc...)" The thing is, if you are just looking to be happy, these things are pretty irrelevant. Sure, all of us moms think he should do great things for you. But in the end, what we think doesn't change your state of happiness. In fact, if for some reason he can't or doesn't do this thing, we have made you much more unhappy about it by raising your expectations.

So this is the deal: You want to know you are special (AND YOU ARE!!). If your husband is ever able to fully meet this need in you, he is some kind of superman. But if you ask God about it, He will always take care of that for you, because you are His very favorite thing. As for your husband, he wants to make you happy. It's probably his hugest goal. But if he senses that you are unhappy, it can be really tough for him. He can get frustrated, which makes it harder for him to do what you want and then the cycle goes on. So, do tell him what you want, but in an effort to help him make you happy--not because you want to be happy, but because you want him to be. I know it sounds kinda like martyrdom, but actually, it's just the way things work. It really is great. So don't demand anything from him--just tell him exactly how you feel. And don't tell him that he needs to do it to be a good dad or any of that stuff. Remember how well any of us likes to hear anything that makes us feel guilty and never do that to your husband. It really is shooting yourself in the foot.

Before you write this off as insane, let me add my credentials. I have been married for 20 years and I love my husband more every day. Being with him is my favorite thing (and he says the same) and when we are together, we usually just go somewhere and talk over a cup of coffee until the coach turns back into a pumpkin.

Happy Mother's Day, and many happy years with the love of your life.

Let him know what your expectations are. Hopefully, he is just is not creative and can't think what to do for you. If he says something lame like you're not his mother, then he clearly doesn't get it, and you must teach him what you are worth. I would say then I'll handle the plans. I would plan at least a day preferably a weekend out of town by yourself to visit a friend or relative. Tell him that what you want for Mother's Day is a few days to not be mommy and you know he'll enjoy a few days alone with the girls. If you think he'll get someone else to take care of your girls talk to them ahead of time and let them know that he needs to watch them on his own. By the time you get back he'll appreciate what you do, and he'll never leave the Mother's Day plans to you again.

I know you've gotten alot of responses, but I couldn't help it, I needed to say something. Yes, you should be honored on your special day!!! And it's you husband's job to make sure your kids give you the special treatment and respect that comes with that day until they are old enough to do it themselves. You gave him the best gift anyone could ever give: His children!!! And to not even wish you a Happy Mother's Day, but still call his own mom is very direspectful to you.

I would come right out and say "What are we doing for my Mother's Day this year?" If he says "Well, what do you want to do?" Suggest that maybe he could help the kids make a card, or you could all go out for a nice lunch together, and of course he could take over the housework for a day =) If that doesn't work, give me your # and I'll call and talk to him and give him the "gentle push" he needs! LoL!

If you don't hear it from him, I'm sure I speak for all the other moms on here when I say: Happy Mother's Day! You're doing a great job =)"

He probably doesn't do anything for you because you aren't his mother. My dad did this to my mom on her first Mother's Day and my mom asked him about it. His response was that she wasn't his mother. She explained that my sister was to young to do anything and he should do something in honor of the kids and acknowledge her as the mother of his children. After that he has always done something or made sure we did something for her. You probably just need to spell it out for him.

A.-
Having children is a tough job and you should be recognized. Even my girlfriends say Happy Mothers Day to each other. Don't make it a big deal, but tell him on Mother's Day you want to go out for dinner with the family to recognize what a special mom you are. Or suggest to him that he make dinner on Mother's Day to thank you for being such a great mom to his kids. I, for one, am someone who does not get hints and another person might think they are being obvious about something and it just sails over my head. If your husband is someone you can talk with then just tell him you want the recognition of being a great mom! If not, then maybe the suggestions above can help the idea sink in.....
Hope this helps-
J.

I would have a heart to heart talk with your husband. Tell him how you really feel.

You could start making Mothers/Fathers Days about the person (with no gift involved) by honoring that person that day. The other spouse could make special meals, do the housework, etc. for the day. And make each other home-made cards--with help from the kids of course.... It does NOT have to be about gift giving. Just appreciating the roles we all play.