Nightmare at the Dentists Office

Hi,
Switch dentists, and keep doing this until you find one she will open her mouth for. Been there, done that!
Good luck!

Oh man! Take her to a Pediatric Dentist! My kids go to Majic Smiles in El Dorado Hills but I know plenty of other pediatric dentists in the sAcramento area that are all great. They show kids videos on the ceiling and my kids are so immersed in teh videos (that they get to pick) that they don't have a clue of what's even going on in their mouths.

Is your daughter seeing a pediatric dentist? The Pediatric dentist is able to work with kids more. Not to mention, depending on the office, they might have a movie for your daughter to watch to distract her from the process. When I first took my daughter to the dentist, I took her in for a normal check up to the dentist I normally go to. It was a disaster. Next, I took her to a pediatric dentist, and things were much better!

Hi, R.. I can't stand this sound either and I'm in my 30's. Embarassing as it is I take a walkman with music(any that she likes) and it seems to cover up the sound of the tools, and seems to help relax me. I hope this helps, M.

You don't say how old she is, that can make a big difference. Since she is old enough for selants I think she is old enough to have a talk with someone.
You can look her in the eye and blandly say,"well, I guess this means we will be coming back until you agree to be worked on". I am not above giving a treat for good behavior.

As a person who used to hyperventilate in the chair (no joke!) and later became a Dental Assistant, I can tell you that the biggest problem is the fear factor. Call ahead and explain your issue with the front office, talk to one of the assistants. They should be willing to talk with your daughter, explain what they are going to do, give her a mirror if she wants one. If they have done this and she STILL has an issue you may want to take her to a Pediodontist who specializes in working with children. IF the dental office is not willing to work with you then I would consider finding another dentist.
We only get two sets of teeth. Teaching your child early how to care for them and developing a trusting relationship with a dentist is key to a long life with their own teeth. =)

You can always arrange for procedures to be done under anesthesia, but I'd pick my battles over that one. Filling a big cavity - yeah. Putting on some sealant - no, I wouldn't give my kid anesthesia for that.

My 5 yo wouldn't open her mouth for the dentist when she visited accompanied by dad. She told me later that she didn't like that dentist, he scared her. We switched to a pediatric dentist who was more kid savvy, and this time I went with her. She did fine after that.

Your daughter might have just been having a bad day. But talk to her and see if you can figure out something that might help on the next visit.

You didn't say how old she is, but can she articulate why she's afraid of the tools now? Maybe something she saw, or something that happened last visit that didn't seem like a big deal but that she has turned into a big deal? Has she had painful work done before? Maybe you could get a clean watercolor paint brush and role play brushing the sealant on her teeth? Good luck...

I am not sure where you live, but get a recommendation for a good pediatric dentist in your area (from other moms). My son was terrified until we found a reputable pediatric dentist and after one visit he was great. They have done fillings, you name it. They know how to handle frightened kids and stressed parents.

Hi R.,

It is just very possible that all things happen for a reason, and you will be glad you didn't do it.

I have my oldest daughter 's teeth sealed. I wish now that I didn't. Doing research on chemicals I recently found out that dental sealants (BPA's) have the largest impact on the bodies estrogen levels with the smallest amount of exposure. Worse than soy, estrogen therapy, birth conrtol pills, plasticizers, and pesticides.
There is a LOT of data online that exposes estrogen and it's harmful effects:

Xenoestrogens (non- plant based/manmade) have a half life of decades in the body.

When fetuses are exposed to excess estrogen (like soy) in utero, the males become feminized and females become masculeninzed.

Soy formula is equivalent of giving 5 birth control pills a day.

DES,a synthetic hormone given to pregnant women- 30 years later we can see the effects in thier daughters: high rates of vaginal cancer, etopic pregnancy, miscarriage, and premie babies.

estrogenic effects from endosulfans (pesticides)on fertility are seen to the third and fourth generations in humans.

Chlorine has been targeted in breast cancer because it is estrogenic. Estrogen plays an 80% role in breast cancer. (indeed, breast cancer drugs supress estrogen!)

So haleluha! You saved your daughters fertility. A great way to help keep children's teeth from decay without sealants is:

-Take cod liver oil

-if you are on the road and cant brush: chew sugarfree gum that contains ZYLITOL, which is antibacterial for dental germs that cause carries. Or carry a toothbrush and drybrush or use just water to brush with.

-reduce corn syrup laden foods/carbs and sugar. Carbs start breaking down into sugar in the mouth. Brush within 2 minutes after all meals, if possible.

-Floss and carry floss in your purse.

Floride is another one I would avoid. It is a rat poison. The reason it works on teeth is it poisons the germs so they die. There are many studies online If you look them up
you will be horrified. Some dentists have stepped forward and have proven that floride , even in tap water, doesn't help with tooth carries at all. 98% of europe does not floridate water!!!

Oh, R., your post gave me post traumatic flashbacks of nightmare visits to the dentist with my daughter. I think she's probably in the Guiness Book of World Records as all time worst dental patient in history. We tried every pediatric specialist from Portland to Sacramento and all parts in between. She was very outgoing and communicative, they let her touch and feel the instruments to see that nothing would hurt her. I let them look in my mouth first, you name it. But, when it came time to open her mouth, she flat refused. She simply wasn't going to do it. I would be so embarrassed I just wanted to die. And believe me, she knew I was not happy with her about it. I tried "surprising" her with a dental visit, meaning we didn't discuss it beforehand so it wouldn't build anxiety. I tried letting her know a day ahead and promising her all they wanted to do was look at her teeth to make sure they were healthy. I tried male dentists. I tried female dentists. I'd run out of options. Finally, I made an appointment with a dentist who didn't specialize in children, but was willing to see her. I don't know what it was about him, but my daughter absolutely adored him the minute she met him. She just trusted him for some reason. She drew him pictures, wanted to hug him. She even insisted that we make him a sandwich to take with us when we went for her appointments. She did have to have some work done, but she cooperated. One thing he did do....if she asked him if something was going to hurt he'd say "Yes. It might hurt, but it will go away."
So, just don't give up.
Strangely enough, a few years ago, I worked for a pediatric dental specialist. Some kids were so easy and others screamed their heads off the entire time. It is possible to give a mild sedative prior to the appointment and we had lots of kids who had to do that. Nitrus helps some kids, but scares other one because of the floaty feeling. Just keep trying.
I wish you the best. I really, really do!

I have had this happen too and I was pissed to say the least. The people at the office were super nice and understanding. Once I calmed down and took a step back I realized that this is scarey for them and pushing your kids wont help. I ended up taking my son with me to my appt. and just let him play while I had my teeth cleaned. He's only 2.5 so they suggested waiting a year before taking him again. Just give it time and talk to your daughter about the dentist and how great they are. Try not to push it or threaten, you don't want them hating the dentist for life!

Good luck,

J. W

Hello R.,

My 4 year old is autistic and has sensory issues. Before he went to the dentist we had the opportunity to meet with a dental consultant. Her first visit was to the home and she brought a stuffed animal with large teeth and a toothbrush.
After that we had the opportunity to visit the dental office a few times before he had his appointment.

You did not mention your daughters age but a pre-appointment visit and some pretend play about visiting the dentist may help.

I am in Santa Rosa and if you would like the name of the dental consultant I can get that to you in a private e-mail.

Hi,
I just went through that with my 5 yr old. We finally got the Sealing done but it took a long time. the tools they were using do look like needles. and that scared my daughter, but the Dental Hygenist demonstrated on her finger everything that was to be done. My daughter got to sit up for the bottom row and they gave her a hand held mirror so she could monitor the entire procedure. I also spent a lot of time explaining that it will help prevent cavities and the fillings are not fun. And that sealing is jsut a cream that helps your teeth stay healty. Maybe you can make another try in six months or so and ask her what she was afraid of and work with her dealing with that. also she may want to bring something wiht her (my daughter wore her sunglasses because of the bright light). Maybe she has a special toy she can bring with her if she is nervous.
good luck
J.

You don't say the ages of your daughters but I think bringing your kids to the dentist at age 3 and on is a little goofy. I did it and have to wonder whether it was worth the money and effort. And that sealing of the molars is hard. They have to dry out the mouth and then paint them with that stuff and let them dry. It took a couple years before my daughter would tolerate it - I think she was 9 or 10. And that fluoride pad is gross. The dentists seem to act as if everything is critical - the sealing, the fluoride, etc. Much of the tendency for gum disease and cavities is hereditary (in my opinion). And I hate that water scaling machine. All of your kids reactions are normal. I would weight the benefit and risk (dental history or you and your husband) and perhaps back off of dental procedures for a while.

Hi R.!

In my opinion, you should find a dentist that cares about NOT frightening your daughters. There are Pediatric Dentists out the who specialize in making a young child feel secure and safe in the dentist's chair.

My boys' dentist is AWESOME! He's gentle, calm, and caring. Our Dentist explains absolutely EVERYTHING, and the kids always know what they will "hear". They never even know when they get a numbing shot!

I didn't know such a wonderful dentist existed, I just thought going to the dentist was "one of those things" we all have to overcome. But now I know that there are GREAT dentists out there for us and our kids. I suggest you find one for your girls :o)

I live in Modesto, in case you want my dentists info :o)

~N. :O)

did you go to an actual childrens dentist? they seem to be much better with young children.

The Dentist's office can be so difficult. I totally sympathize. I have three kids. One is OK at the dentist. My youngest is great at the dentist. My eldest son is embarrassing. I have been lucky that he does open his mouth, but screams and cries the whole time. The best thing I can recommend is a really good pediatric dentist. We go to Dr. Solomon in Livermore, CA and he is great. Even if your dentist is great, a change may do the trick to get you child to cooperate (a change of scenery can do wonders and you can talk with the dentist prior to the appointment about your concerns). Good luck!

I know, don't I know! My son makes a huge fuss at the dentist, regardless of what is being done. When he finally had to get novocaine and a filling, you would have thought he was being murdered. His dentist has made a point of scheduling him as her last appointment of the day, so he doesn't scare away her other patients! She uses a device that holds the mouth open, even just for cleaning, because otherwise he just clamps his mouth shut the minute he gets in the chair.

I can't indulge my son's fussing about the dentist by finding someone who shows videos and gives stuffed animals, because my son has medi-cal, and there are almost no dentists who take medi-cal. I found ONE dentist who takes medi-cal, who has a clean office and a pleasant manner, and has experience with kids, so I think we're doing well. Besides, he made the same fuss about having his hair washed, and the same fuss about having his hair cut, and the same fuss about getting shots at the doctor, so I'm kind of "jaded" about his little productions!

I am not sure what your relationship with dad is, but I sent my daughter with her dad and she did fine.

Hello R.: I have 2 thoughts for you to ponder.
1. I am 50 plus and because of horrible experiances with the dentist to this day I have trouble. We see a Dr. D. Crockett, in Hayward. He is kind, soothing and very patient. I have a son with a medical condition and Dr. Crockett was not only willing to take what ever time was needed he actually did a filling without medication just talking to Jon. I know you have a dentist but if you are in the area and need a change please check him out he is great!
2. Recently when watching Nemo with my Granddaughter she became scared to death of the dentist in the film because he is so mean. Could your child have seen something on Scobby Do? or other show that alarmed her?? We had to remind her that it was only a show and not how our dentist does things.
Being a single mother by choice or forced upon you is a hard role and I admire you and all the other single parents that make a differance in our world. Nana G

Does your daughter have trust issues in other areas? Some kids always think adults are trying to TRICK them (maybe because some adults lie to children, and some kids are smart enough to realize it) My son is ok with dentists, but was EXTREMELY afraid of doctors for many years! He had a reason, a bad experience, which I won't go into. It took us 2 years to get him to do an eye exam. As for check ups/medical office visits...the staff, and the patients in the waiting room will never forget him, that's for sure. He's still scared now (at 9), but is rational, and will accept reassurances.
I agree with one of the other moms that it is probably best to try different dentists (if your insurance is accepted in many places), in case your child likes one of the dentists more than the others. Also, see if you can figure out what she's really afraid of---Noise? Pain? The unknown?

Good luck. It may take time. Make sure she brushes well.