No Sleep!!! Please Help!

Updated on September 22, 2008
C.G. asks from Spokane, WA
16 answers

Where do I begin? I have a 19 month daughter and a 3 month old daughter. And people were not lying when they said we would have our hands full.
I'm having a terriable time sleeping latley. The second day home from the hospital my newborn slept through the night 10-6am... which was great. My 19 month has been in her crib and slept great since she was about 4 months old. So now when I say I have sleeping issues.. I know there are going to be some who say I should feel lucky, but things have now done a change around.
For the past 2 weeks my new born daughter has been waking up around 4am every moring regardless of what time she goes to sleep. That was okay for a while, but now she is up almost half the night. She wont take her binky or a bottle, just fusses! The girls share a room so due to her new sleeping habits she is back in our room. My 19 month old has now starting waking up with all the comotion of the little one.. so not only do we have to worry about her waking up and trying to comfort her we have both! I'm a beliver in the cry it out method.. It worked great with the first!! But is she to young to let her cry it out? And if not then what do we do about them being in the same room??? I'm at a loss as to what to do. I know we need a bigger house but can't move until The beginning of December.
I work Full-Time and so does my Husband so this lack of sleep is starting to take a toll on us mentally and physically. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

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So What Happened?

First I want to thank you all for the support. You are right.. she is too young for the Cry out method.. and since a few mentioned teething I was looking at her gums last night, and sure enough they are red and swollen. We used the teething tablets last night and I gave her a little bit of Cereal (which she did great with). We woke a couple of times but only to feed and it was off to sleep again! I can handle the feedings! Thank you all again for your support. Please pray that nights just keep getting better! It is amazing what 4 solid hours of sleep can do for someone!

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K.T.

answers from Portland on

Would you consider cranio sacral therapy? There may be some issues she's a little uncomfortable with and the therapy could help her immensely. I took my daughter first at 2 months to relieve her acid reflux. It was gone within 2 weeks. I also took her in for some colic issues between 3-5 months....pretty much gone!
K.

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R.B.

answers from Portland on

I think 3 months is way to young for cry it out but I never liked that method anyway as it never worked with my son.
I wonder though if she is having pain....perhaps early teething which would be why she doesnt want her binky or to nurse. I would try using a teething gel next time she wakes and see if it relaxes her or not. I love love love hyland's homeopathic teething drops they worked great at this age(you hold them against there gums until they dissolve so they dont choke when they are this young)...now i use pulsatilla for the whiny teething cry and chamomila for the irritated angry teething cry. **you can also dissolve the tablets in a teeny bit of water and wipe the paste on their gums. My pediatrician okay'd homeopathics but check with yours if you are concerned.
Also I would caution you against thinking what worked with the first will work with the second all of my girlfriends have 2 or more kids one has 5 and she is always telling me how they are all different and it was like learning what works all over again with each child.
Good luck I know how hard it can be without sleep! Take every catnap you can! And hang in there dont give up keep trying different things. It will get better it has to!
:)

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L.M.

answers from Yakima on

Around 3 months my girls had growth spurts that made them hungry in the night. I just went and got them and breastfed them and they were fine.
Course they had bassinetts that were right by my bed until they were older and that made it nice...I just grabbed them changed them...and laid and breastfed them and we both went back to sleep. sometimes inorder to have everyone get the sleep they needed adjustments that you never thought you would make happen. Our3 year old even crawled in bed with us for about a month until she got bored with it..we had a California King bed so we had plenty of room. Once she got over the insecurity of having a new sister she went right back in her bed. I think it was because we never made an issue of it. we were all tired so we just all made the kids feel secure and went to sleep.The kids we made an agreement that we were not going to have the fighting about bedtime. Neitheroneof them were in our room after a year and always loved their bedrooms...but one night a week we would sack out on the livingroom floor and watch tv..like a campout. The kids and us did that still when they were in highschool. L.

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J.N.

answers from Seattle on

Hi C.,
You are in the "transition" stage. It's very normal for your newborn to wake up early and not want to go back to sleep. If she's fussy, maybe she has a little gas. Her little body is trying to get used to the milk and that's about the age my kids fussed also. She is way too young to do the crying it out. For the first 4 months she needs your comfort when upset. Unfortunately it's a bumpy ride the first month or two but just know that it will get better. Enjoy these moments; they go by way too fast.

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S.W.

answers from Seattle on

If she is waking up fussy and not hungry you should check with your pediatritian. She may have Reflux or something that is causing it. Usually, babies with Reflux really start having issues with it around that age. Regardless of what her issue is, she is too young to be crying it out and I would have her Dr take a look and see what they think.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

I know that it is very hard to get rest when your little one wakes up a lot during the night and you need to go to work early the next day. What worked for me was to breastfeed my baby in bed, that way we could both fall asleep together. When he was done and fallen completely asleep I would transfer him to a pak and play in our room. Then he could sleep on his own and we wouldn't wake him when getting ready in the morning.
Also, if your little one is awake for a long time at night have her take good naps during the day but not too long, she might have her night and day mixed up.

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T.M.

answers from Seattle on

This may go against what others say, but I have 3 girls (5,3,1) and sleep is definitely a GREAT thing! The #1 cause of depression is lack of sleep, so what I did (Recommended by my DOCTOR.) Take an allergy pill about 1.5 hours before bed (Generic from Costco is cheapest-same as Benedryl (sp?)). I didn't want to take anything else! I only take one and what it does it allows me to fall asleep faster and once one of my kiddos wakes me up I am able to fall back asleep! The only thing is that if you are sensitive you may be a little tired the next day, BUT only until you figure out the timing of when to take one. I don't feel tired the next day now, because I have sound sleep. I am a horribly light sleeper-to the point of clinically wrong, so I know what you are going through! Good luck and God Bless!

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

I think 3 months old is too young for "crying it out". Maybe you should try taking the baby back into your bed, or maybe find a different room in the house to take her so she doesn't disturb the older one. I think pediatricians say you shouldn't let them cry it out until they are 6 months.

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M.K.

answers from Seattle on

Hi there!

We also have two girls that are 17 months apart. They don't share a room, but their doors are exactly next to each other so one can hear the other very easily. We got a very loud fan and run it in the hallway during nap and bed times. While your younger daughter is in your room, you could put it in the hall. Once she moves back into the room with her sister, you could put it in between their cribs. I have used this since day 1 when our second arrived home from the hospital and I really think it helped me with sleep training them both.

I think that 3 months is a bit too young for CIO. I'm only going on what our ped told us about responding to their cries until either 4 months or 6 months, I can't quite remember.

Best of luck to you.

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi C. G,

My heart goes out to you! Know you are being a great mom and doing what you can. :)I do want to say that I don't think calling a Dr. is always as necessary as others do at times. I say this because many times, children simply need love and affection for a bit and then will drift off to sleep. I don't know if you are spiritial at all, but I pray with my daughter, and it calms her. :) I suggest that to many moms. :)

Really, my best advice is to check and see if both kids are teething. One is about the age to get 2 year molars, and the other could be just starting. I highly recommend the natural teething tablets. They are wonderful! Also, and I know this will be tough, but try to stay calm and not stressed when tired. Your children, both will pick up on that and draw back in reaction. By drawing back, I mean they ultimately will react to what we put out there.

I can only imagine how tired you are. Is there a way to catch up on some sleep, someone who could take one of the children for a couple of hours so you can rest? If not, drink lots of water, and exercise. Well, actually, do that anyway. :) It sounds silly, but it makes you less tired. Oh, and vitamin B12's are great too for energy. Fred Myer has a chewable one that we often take. What a huge blessing to have such beautiful girls!

As for people telling you that you would have your hands full, this is my thoughts... God only gives us what we can handle. You can do it, just breathe. :)

Will pray for strength and energy for you my friend. :)

Hugs and Blessings,

K.S.

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J.T.

answers from Portland on

Hi C.,

I'm sure you are exausted! It is not typical for a three month old to cry as much and sleep as little as yours does. It seems to me that allowing her to "cry it out" isn't getting you anywhere, and is just making your baby even more miserable. Please ask your pediatrician for some help. There is most likely some very simple trick that will help at least a little. If this is just something your baby has to get through, please remember that it won't last long. There is a reason for a baby to cry. I really don't think it helps to ignore those cries. Keep talking to other moms, and maybe you'll find some who are going through the same thing. You're not alone, and it will get better. Good luck!!

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K.S.

answers from Portland on

Check with your pediatrician. Mine too said that 3 months was too young to go through the night without waking up once for a little snack. We suffered through to about six months, then started c-i-o, which worked great for us too. I may also be that your babe is going through a major growth spurt and needs the extra nutrition for now, but will settle right back into sleeping through the night once it passes.

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J.C.

answers from Seattle on

Good for you for asking for help -- two babies in 16 months - AND a 2nd full time job?? -- yowie--.
a- have you tried white noise - sometimes children sleep better ( and can tolerate noise better) with a white noise machine to mask background sounds - that might really help your toddler.
b ask your care provider how much sleep each child is getting during the day- you may need to ask them to tweak back a little on day-time sleeping for the infant ( a LITTLE--- being overtired can make children irritable and make it HARDER for them to sleep through)
c- ask the pediatrician if your 4 month old could have some rice cereal before she is put down at night

Many, many blessings- - this is a tough one for you--

J.

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

I would start with getting a binky for the youngest. Then I would, after feeding in the middle of the night, use the burp rag, our babies called it the raggie, put it in the crib under the baby. It smells like you and it is warm. Also you might try putting the youngest in the crib next to the dishwasher. The vibration works great and you can't hear the cries. It worked with my light sleeper a few times.

I wish you and your husband the best of luck. I have been there. It take a lot of patience and time to get through this developmental stage.

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

For the 3-month old... do you have a swing? My older son was a great sleeper, but an early riser as an infant. He would consistently sleep from 10pm-5am, but then would be up for the morning, and I am just not a morning person. So, we started putting him in his swing in our bedroom after I fed him in the morning, and he was just as happy as could be. Then, I'd go back into a light sleep for another hour and a half or so, and by the time I woke up for the morning, everyone was happy.

The other thing that I would check, depending on how she's acting during the day, is whether she might have developed an ear infection or something that is causing her to lose sleep and be fussy... just a thought. I found that with both of my boys, there were usually almost no signs of an ear infection, but I would just get a gut feeling that something was amiss, I'd take them in to the doctor, and sure enough, that was what was going on. Whenever I had to see one of the other docs in the practice who didn't know me, they'd kind of roll their eyes like they were humoring this insane mom, and then be totally shocked when this baby with no symptoms turned out to have a bad ear infection.

I think if you get the younger one's sleep habits resolved, the older one will fall back into her normal routine. Good luck!

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J.O.

answers from Corvallis on

Cora-
My son is nearly 6 months and I have just gotten to the point that I will let him fuss a while longer if I know I have just fed him and his diaper is clean etc... the main 3. Parenting is a very personal endeavor, and since you asked I will give you my personal opinion about crying it out and age. Of course sometimes we just have to walk away or we would go insane but I think that when they are that young they cry because they have no other from of communication they need to know that if they have a problem someone will be there for them, some of us are lucky and can solve the problem and the crying stops some of are less fortunate in that the crying goes on and on and all we can do is hold our LO's and hope that gives them some comfort, I think from what I have read and my own mommy instinct that it helps to build trust and security in the child... but that said many of us were raised with the cry it out method and are fine.

As for the sleep issue, I have a co-sleeper (Arms reach) and my LO wakes up a few times in the night and early in the morning. I am nursing him with a formula supplement so I will pull him into bed with me and nurse him, at this point he falls back asleep and I either put him back to bed or keep him with me... he sleeps very well next to me. I am very careful of pillows and make sure there are no cracks he can roll into and keep the blankets minimal. This works for us, I don't sleep as soundly but at least I get some sleep.

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