Non~ Custidial Parent, Taking Me to Court, I Need Advice! Help!

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You should be able to get help through the local childsupport office or the social sevices. Also you might be able to get help from hospitals like saint judes they treat for free. We should have something like that here you might call and ask them they are in Tennesee. Hope this helps you can e-mail me back if you like ____@____.com

If you are in California when he takes you to court he is responsible for 1/2 of the medical not cover by insurance. Also modify your child support, if there are hardships, which there are he is responsible to pay for at least 1/2 if not more, if you are at home caring for her they will ask him to pay more to help, if you cannot afford an attorney talk to paralegals in the area that are familiar with family law, if you are near sacramento I can help you with all the resources you will need. also look into other programs to not only help with finacial needs but medical needs also, there are many programs and resources out there.

I am so, so sorry that you are having to go through this. It sucks that your ex has to be this way. It sounds like he is only thinking of himself and his financial status. I understand that the money is hard...for both of you, but to take it to court? I know that if you were to apply for a financial hardship at the hospital, you'd definitely qualify, however, it is in his name, so he would have to try that route. Also, I would hope, that even without a lawyer, the judge would see the situation for what it is. You have to be there for her because the bio-dad is not. You need a place to live and can't do both. I would hope that the judge would take a look at your income (or lack thereof) and the health of the child involved. I know you can't always trust in the courts, but what else can you do. I know that in some areas there is free attorney aid. You can call any of your local attorney's and ask if they know how you could go about getting help when you have no money. I'm not sure how that would work, but what could it hurt?

Oh good luck!! I hope the best for you and Holly!

Dear H.,

There are laws that govern your situation, and you need a lawyer that knows them. Do not try to do this on your own. Go to the Yellow Pages and fine a law office for single parents or low income people or something like that. Call the Social Services Dept of your County and ask. Ask all over the place - and it will be found for you. I bet that there are a lot of lawyers that come into the Harley Davidson Dealership where you work. Ask them where you should go for help.

Do it ! and Do it now !
Sincerely, C. N.

Hi H.- I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I can understand completely. But I can give you piece of mind. No court will go in favor with him. He will have to pay medical fees whether he likes it or not. What you need to do is go to family court and ask for assistance. They have people there that will will help you & give you advice on what to do. I just recently had to retain a lawyer. My lawyer is great and works with you financially. I'm not sure where you live but he is here in Oceanside. His name is Ramone Orduno his number is ###-###-####. I hope this helps you out a little. Just remember have faith and everything will work out. He can't & won't win this fight. The courts see right through these kinds of things and know it's all about the money. But please go the family court in Vista for assistance. They are only available on Wed. but it will be worth it. Good luck and if you need anything else please contact me.
J.

I am so sorry for this happening to you and your daughter. There are things that you can do. I am not sure where you live,, but there are legal services available to people that need help and cannot afford them. I know that at Gonzaga University (Spokane) they have law students help the public for free or cheaply, and they have help by their lawyer professors...I would look in the phone book and start calling lawyers....most will give you time on the phone for free and give you advice. You may even find a lawyer that will take your case Pro Bono (free). Get your phone book out and just start calling....if nothing else, one of them may be able to direct you to a free service....If it is in your parenting plan that he is responsible for medical costs, then it should be a no brainer for any judge. The fact that she has Lukemia and he is trying to sneak out of his obligations as a father will not be lost on a judge either. There is also support out there for families in need, especially in crisis such as yours. Catholic Charities is an amazing organization and you do not have to be Catholic to receive services from them. Again, start with your phone book and let it help you (or in this day and age, the computer). Good luck to you and you and your daughter will be in my prayers. Please post an update when you know more.
A.

hopfully he will get a judge like judge judy who will call him a selfish pig. I am sure the court will not rule in his favor given the situation, it's not like you are just taking her to the hospital all the time for no reason and racking up the bills. How sad for him that his daughter is only a number on paper. I would look into a lwayer that will help you pro bono so you don't have more bills to pay!!! chin up!!! I will say some extra prayers for you! A dear friend of mine had leukimia and was given 3 weeks to live almost 2 years ago now. He had been living with it for 4 years. He refused treatment and went the holistic route. It is an awful diseaese even worse for a small child. I hope everything works out for you.

Go to court tell the judge everything you have told us. Request an increase in child support. In the state of California if he hold health insurance for her both parents are responsible for half of the bills incurred. I know this sucks but its California for ya. Also you need to let the Judge know his patterns of flakeyness and how he only seems to come around when it seems to be beneficial in court. You more than ever need to focus on your daughter as you have and let the courts work for you. Many parents go to court without an attorney and things work out well. California is a mother friendly state so use that to your advantage. I hope your daughter pulls through her illness and you two have many happy times together.

I don't know how to say how sorry I am that your ex is being so mean spirited and uncaring. I don't see that he can win this in any way. As difficult as it is I'd just dismiss this situation from my everyday thinking. He's not worth the pain that thinking of this causes you. If the divorce decree orders that he provide health insurance that is a done deal. They aren't going to change that.

IF by some unlikely chance the court requires that you pay half of co-payments you can't so what can happen? The medical bills will also come to you. You can't pay. so? They will not stop treating your daughter.

It also sounds to me that you may be eligible for state assistance. Not only food stamps but perhaps health coverage. Is he trying to force you into getting that? For awhile after my daughter's divorce their son was covered by his father's insurance but my daughter who was receiving state aid also received help from the Oregon Health Plan and they paid the co-payments.

Your ex is putting you thru hell and I'm angry with him even tho I don'tknow either one of you. Remember that your most important task is to take care of you and your daughter. Don't let him sidetrack you from doing that. And don't let him make life any more miserable for you than it already is. If possible get an attorney, thru Legal Aide most likely, and let him deal with your ex. Then work at not letting his dirty actions get to you. It's you and your daughter. Give her all the love she deserves.

Don't talk against her dad to her or in front of her. She doesn't need to bear this burden.

I am praying for you both. You will overcome!

hi H. i know personally about those high attorney fees!well i run my own biz from home i help people like yourself who can't afford an attorney ,please e- mail me back or give a call maybe i can be of some ____@____.com\www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/lisaduran.. i hope to here from you soon ..

L. duran ###-###-####

This is a very serious situation, I've been fighting for my kids for years, seeing how they have different dad's. I feel I am an expert in this field, please if at all possible, get a lawyer, the very very best is Margret Mary Johnston, she is a certified specialist. Any monies he gives you outside of childsupport is considered a gift, with the proper lawyer you would most diffently gain monetarily from this court hearring. You can ask that they modify child support orders when neccesary. Don't be afraid. If you have more questions, please ask me.

Hi H. first and foremost I highly commend you for the good job your doing taking care of your daughter.An Answer to your questions and concerns since my friend just went through a similar situation. You dont have to have a lawyer to fight him in court. He can file all he wants but the judge will see to it that you do get a fair trial. All you have to do is keep a record of all the child support that he has given you and the times that he spent with your daughter. It is inferative that you do try to remember every little detail of time of the day, trust me it helped my friend bigtime.You said that he has insurance for your child according to the law which ever parent can provide medical support to the child weather it is the custodial parent or the non-custodial parent he or she is responsible for the medical expenses specially when the parent who has the child most of the time has no financial capabilities due to childs disabilities or illness.I suggest that if you have any support from any friends or family that you have them watch your daughter for a few hours and go to your local court house and go to the family court services the court has hired lawyers to help people without legal assistance to file papers and what you can do to counter suet him (ask for your x to pay all the co-payment and any future co-payments, prevention of him to cancel your child from his insurance unless he is resigned or terminated from employment and modification of child support) and those lawyers would not give you advice they would only do recommendations. Remember he already files a paper and if you dont file a counter suet it means that you accept what he put in there and as unfair as it may sound the judge would grant his request due to your non responce. Read your summons carefully it states there that you have the legal right to respond if you don't agree upon the said case.You are given only short amount of time to do it so I suggest for you to do it right away, you counter suet need to be files before you need to appear in court.The judge only sees whats in writing he or she does not care about the "he said,she said".I also suggest for you to go in around 6am the court opens at 8am but people get there way early to sign in because only take a few people until noon and if your name is way down the list your chance of getting assistance is less likely.I hope this information is enough to get you started. Remember what goes around comes all the way back around. My heart goes to you and your daughter. I'm a mom and also a nurse and I've worked at Childrens Hospital and I have seen what your going through right now. I hope my advice is informative enough.

Hi H.,

I don't know what state you are in but in California they have the Paid Family Leave. You will get 6 weeks of paid leave from the state to care for a sick child. Hopefully that will help a little. And you don't have to take it all at once. You get 6 weeks paid for every calander year. You can take a week here and a week there when your daughter is in the hospital. I took it after I used up my six weeks of disability. You get 55% of your pay. I know it doesn't seem like a lot but it is 55% of your pay before taxes and everything so I ended up taking home only about 300.00 less a month then when I was working. You can get the paperwork online at the State Disibility website.

Good Luck and let me know if you need help getting those paper. ____@____.com

Dear H.,

Thankfully I have experience in family law. First, what state are you in? Second, When was the last time you had modified your child support order? In Washington you can modify your Support Order every 24 months per statute. In the Support Order there is verbage with regards to medical bills, daycare, ins, etc... You both are responsible for a % of the cost incurred for the child. If it has been 7 years since you last entered papers, I would say go modify. That is my opinion. As for him sueing you over Holly's medical bills, did you keep check stubs, reciepts, a paper trail on ALL the medical bills you have paid? This will help when you go to court. If you can prove your baring all the financial responsability and he is not your chances of winning are better. Get doctor bills, hospital bills, anything together. If he has not been seeing his child ask an attorney if you can limit his visitation time. Do you have witnesses that will do declarations for you to the effect he is not helping with Holly in any emotional, and financial ways?

I am sorry to hear about your daughter. I have 4 children of my own and although none have leukemia, my eldest has CHARGE SYNDROM and I have seen the inside of a hospital more then I would like. I understand the emotional rollercoaster ride.

Good Luck,

K.

H., YOU HAVE TO STAY STRONG!!! DOn't give in to this because it is the easiest thing to do!! YOU can win this and you and Holly deserve it! If I were you I would go to a legal aid place in your town and talk to someone there. you can get more child suport and help with medical bills and all that stuff on your own, but you have to have all your ducks in a row!! also talk to a social worker for your state! Holly might qualify for state insurance to help with what dads doesnt cover! Good luck H.! Stay strong!!! T.

Well I think he is just a big jerk. His daughter is sick and all he care about is money? That's a loser for you. I suggest looking into free leagal services. There are some lawyers that will do a case pro-bono. Most lawyers are required to do at least one a year. Also look around. I know in Illinois they have free legal services for families in need. And it sounds to me like you are in need. It's called Land Of Lincoln. Maybe check in your area or with the department of human services. I'm sure they can get you some help in that area. The court probably won't award you any more support than you are already getting. But, they may order him to pay at least half of the co-pays/medical bills. I think he should be paying for at least part of it if not all of it. She is his child too.

Wow. First off I hope that things are looking up in regards to your daughter's diagnosis. How very stresfful!

I don't really know what to tell you. The person responsible for the co-pays should have been laid out in your divorce decree or child support order. Often times parents are required to split the co-pays. Other times it is the parent not responsible for carrying insurance. If it isn't set in stone legally yet this will be a great time to have that done. Judges don't look favorably upon father's who fail to be by their child's hospital bed when they have been diagnosed with cancer.

have you heard of the northwest womens law center?? look it up ..there is alot of places that offer free legal help I would try northwest first ..also in the beginning of lawyer/attourny pages there is the king county bar association who may be able to direct you...Wishing you the best

Your in California, which means that the NON coustodial parent is responsible for providing the child with health care, INCLUDING any bills that incur. I am almost willing to bet that the court will laugh in his face. You definately want to look into a lawyer. I can tell that you're in a financial bind, but check your county to see if they have any services available for you to get a lawyer based on your income. I am so sorry that Holly's dad would do this to you at a time like this, and I wish you the best of luck, and your daughter nothing but a long happy, healthy life.

H. ~ You definitely need to respond to the paperwork you were served with. Many people do handle these types of matters on their own, but I would not recommend it. If there is any way you can borrow money from a family member or even a friend, I would suggest trying that. Many attorneys accept credit cards for retainers and costs. There are forms at the courthouse that can be filled for hardships and this prevents you from having to pay a filing fee when you file your paperwork with the court. Also, if you can hire a lawyer, he or she can ask the Court to have the father reimburse you for your attorney's fees. My ex husband paid over 10,000 to my lawyer, so it can be done. When you fill out your responsive papers, you can and should ask for a modification of support. Support in California is based on your income, the income of the father and the amount of time the non-custodial parent spends with the child. So, the more time he spends with Holly, the less he pays (i.e., the less time he spends with her, the more he pays) In California (and I'm not sure where you are living) uncovered medical and dental expenses are usually split between the parties. It should be setforth in your initial paperwork, but if not, either you or your lawyer should request this in your paperwork.

Now, you can call the State Bar Association and ask for the Lawyer Referral in your area. Then, call that number and give them a brief description of what it is you are experiencing and they can get you an appointment with a family law lawyer for a consultation. You either won't have to pay a fee, or it will be nominal, like $25 or something. Most experienced lawyers in this area would normally charge a fee in the hundreds of dollars. But, if you see a lawyer and TAKE YOUR PAPERWORK that you were served with to the lawyer, he/she can advise you what you need to do. Sometimes, they can give you the packet of information you need to fill out on your own, but at least you will have all the necessary documents and be advised of your rights in your area.

Good luck and I really hope all works out for you and Holly. Keep us posted.
L.

Sweet H.,

God Bless you honey hang in there! Some men are complete morons and it sounds like you got a whopper here. I would suggest you check for free legal services in the area and see what you can do about getting a probono attorney or you can apply at the court house. Get the paper work for it fill it out and return it. When he takes you to court you can tell the judge at that time that you are in the works to finding an attorney to represent you in this matter. Most likely a judge will grant a continuance on that basis. I would then get what help you can through the state with your living expenses and the such in other words go to Social and Health Services and in all cases they will probably be able to guide you in a direction where Support Enforcement will go after the "Daddy" for any upgrades in the support department. You may want to check with the Social Security Office as well and see what kind of financial Services you may be qualified for seeing that your daughter is so ill.

As far as the "Daddy," well all I can say what a complete and utter dirt bag he has turned out to be. He is still responsible to help you and your daughter through this hard time whether he thinks he does or not. The fact that he is not giving you any emotional support I would see what you could do about financial support from him instead. I hate to say it but bad situations really define the people involved. I think in this situation you can see what a wonderful human being he is by trying to get back money from you for his daughter. The money for the medical is his responsibility even if he doesn't like it. Being that he wants to be like this honey, I would shut down the feelings and just get motivated to make him help with your daughters on going medical needs whether he likes it or not. I am sorry that your daughter is so ill and I am really sorry that daddy dearest is not capable of being supportive to his daughter at this time because I know it is difficult enough as it is. I do believe though he will be saddly mistaken about his financial responsibilities once the court fights begin. He is liable for the costs and depending on your income he may have to shoulder more.

Hang in there and know that as I write this my heart aches for you in your situation and I know that a few prayers and a positive outlook will help get you both through this horrible time. I also know with the advancements they have made in the medical field your daughter has an awesome chance of pulling through as long as all those around her keep spurring her on. I don't normally believe in churches but this might be a good time also to hook up with a church prayer group to pray for you and your daughter during this difficult fight! Again, God Bless you and hang on to you while you are in this fight for your daughter!!

Loving Thoughts and Prayers

D.

It would be helpful to know what state you live in, but usually the noncustodial parent is required to pay child support IN ADDITION to his or her proportionate share of medical and daycare expenses, depending upon the income of both parents. Your ex is a real jerk and I hope the judge throws the book at him. I wouldn't worry too much about this current threat of his because I think he may be opening up a whole new can of worms and the court may find that he owes more in monthly child support and will definitely determine what percentage he should pay for medical expenses. At least that is how it works in Washington State. You should go to your local courthouse - usually there are staff there who work with people who cannot afford lawyers, especially with domestic situations such as yours. They cannot give you advice, but they can certainly help you fill out the correct paperwork and guide you in the right direction. Good luck to you and your daughter during this tough time.