Not Feeling Myself

I have suffered from the same issues and mine is depression. I've taken antidepressants most of my adult life (I'm 31) and when I don't, this is exactly how I would describe how I feel. I would definitely see a doctor - there are so many "fixes" for this situation and you really do deserve to feel good!

I think many people get a little blue when the sun goes away. SAD - seasonal affect disorder or something close to that. I take a dietary supplement that aides with this. If you want to know about it, I am happy to share.

S.

I think it is totally normal to feel like this every once in awhile. We go thru many phases in our lives and some are introspective times when we pause and look at our lives differently. It is very easy to forget who we really are when our identity is so closely linked to what we do. I sometimes just see myself as my husband's wife and my children's mother and forget the individual me. I look back to my younger days and think about what I use to do or like to do.....for me, I like to be in the woods, in nature, so when I feel like I need to reconnect with myself, I take a hike. You might need to go out with friends, read a book, take a long bath, go bowling, .....whatever you remember makes you feel like you. And also, these "disconnected" times can be for a reason. Maybe you need to adjust something in your life to create better balance? Maybe you need to try to take a break from stress? Sometimes our brains make us stop and take a look at what we are doing. You should start a journal to talk out your thoughts to yourself. Feeling different does not necessarily mean feeling bad. We can't go thru life 100%, 100% of the time. This too shall pass :)

Kind of an old post for advice, but I was just catching up on some old emails and I was wondering if you got back to feeling your old self? I hope so..look forward to hearing from you. I also LOVE photography and scrapbooking. And last year around this time I was going through the same thing and I found that I had a serious case of post partum depression..I can relate if you are still feeling bad or sad...

HI D.
I'm sorry to hear your having a hard time. I've been there! When I was in high school I didn't feel quite right, didn't have the energy I should have. Turned out I had candita, and over growth of bacteria/yeast. Not the female kind, but in my digestive track. There's a chapter on it in the link below. After treatment I am able to see how foods effect me. Refined starches & simple sugars that make up much of the American dite are the leading cause to this imbalance in the gut. You don't absorb the nutrients from the food as well, and the condition gets worse. I have since found my personal balance with food. About 15 years after that I got married, and had a baby. I struggled through 3 yrs ppd. My attempts to get help didn't work, and I sank deeper into it. But I survived!
I know it's hard to eat healthfully when your down, but that's the best thing you can do. Our bodies only preform as good as the stuff we put in them.
The other thing I do is get more exercise to boost seritonion. Maybe get the kids to do yoga with you? I have a glider I run on 30 min 3 times a week and boy it made a difference for me. And it's great for your cholesterol as well.

And omega 3 & 6 are very important for brain function too.
http://www.softecare.com/Ingredients/omega_3_benefits_and...
http://www.annecollins.com/dietary-fat/omega-3-efa-6-char...

About Gary Null
http://www.gnhealth.com/about.php

http://www.garynull.com/Documents/Nutrition&Mind/nutr...

If this is to hard to read
http://www.gnhealth.com/books.php
is a great list of his books.

I wish you the best, hang in there. A. H

You have gotten quite the variety of comments back... Did you know that you can get Post partum depression up to 2 YEARS after baby is born?
I would definentaly go see your DR. Tell him whats happening and what you feel like. Sometimes it helps just to TELL someone what your feeling and be understood.
I have also gone thru the disconnected areas... But if it goes on for more than a few weeks you really do need to talk to someone about it.
If they talk meds and you don't want to be on any ask them about natural things you can do.

Go see your doctor. As somebody said, you can develop post postpasturm depression way after your children are born. I realized I had it when my youngest was almost one. Take care of yourself and try to find some "me" time (I still need to apply that to myself...) Good luck to you and I hope it is just a short phase.

Could be hormones or the busyness of your life or depression, or all three! Take some time for yourself, get outdoors when you can, and try counting your blessings as you go to sleep (was reminded of this when I watched White Christmas, the old movie, on TV yesterday!). Also, if this gets worse, you can talk to your doctor about a mild anti-depressant. Lots of light wherever you are in the house or at work can help on these gray Michigan days. You may have a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder which responds well to light. Sometimes, too, as we go through the years of raising young children, what you think of as "you" may change a bit. Try not to worry about it, or anything. If you're a praying person, this'd be a great time for it! Take care of yourself, D., and try to enjoy the holiday season. See it through your son's eyes - that should help!

D.,

It sounds as if you maybe experiencing a bit of post-partum. Some people don't take it seriously, but in order to overcome it (just as anything else) you have to face it and be honest about it. I commend you for noticing something not being right with you. Depending on how long this has been going on and exactly the things to trigger your sadness should be explored. You may want to call and speak to someone for starters. There are a ton of 800 numbers that you can call and speak to someone over the phone to vent about your issues. I don't know if you're religious but you can call any local church and have them pray for you and listen to you as well.

You may also need to take a few hours out of the day and just do you! Things that you like and normally would do prior to having children. Go for a walk to clear your head, listen to music and dance, go to a movie "with" yourself, or read a book. WE ALWAYS become a mother and try to turn into SUPERWOMAN which usually ends with us neglecting ourselves! I try to get a massage every other month, but it's been less and less often lately. But if you want to try that, they give incredible massages for a decent price at the local massuese school. I'm sure you'll reconnect with yourself, you're not the first or the only one that has ever experienced something like this. Just try for here on out and it'll get better. Take care!

Yes I have felt this way. For me it's more in phases that after time I get out of. It's usually around my period or when I'm feeling homesick since we are living abroad. You are not alone and it's really good that you posted this question. You are reaching out. I'd go to your dr. first and then make sure to get out even if it's with your kids... make plans, and take time for yourself...I know this is difficult to do. Good luck and I hope you find our old self soon! :o)

Try talking to your doctor. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It is a chemical imbalance that happens around this time of year! Lack of UV rays does it. It affects many people, so you are not alone!! There are many options of treating it. I heard that going to the Tanning Salon helps, but I couldn't tell you, as I have never done this.
See what your doctor has to say.

Good luck,
A.

Hey girlfriend,
Sometimes we get so caught up in being there for others that we gals lose ourselves. I'm finding that out at midlife. What USED to make you laugh? What kind of fun things have you always enjoyed? For instance, up until a few years ago I was a Barbie collector. OR was there an old tv show that you loved so much that maybe there are others out there that might feel the same and boom! you have a whole new set of online friends you can discuss it with or just share stuff with.
You need to allow yourself some fun once in a while. A hobby or a new venture. You like photography, so what could you maybe do to put it to use and enjoy yourself? E.g., church or afterschool organizations you could incorporate your kids and use your talents? My 3 boys, all grown up now, have been a part of a TaeKwonDo club and competed and when the club has a tournament, you can bet that I'm there taking pictures of the kids from the 2 classes my son helps instruct. I get to know these kids and sometimes their folks. Getting them photographed for their successes often cements them in the sport, for example. You get to meet people and sometimes people have good suggestions or can point you in the right direction.
If you have superb photography skills, go out--with or without the kids---and take some interesting or photographic pictures and see if there isn't a business that would be interested in purchasing some of them. A Photography studio might be interested in your abilities and sponsor you. Honestly I have an online friend in CA who takes exceptional pictures and has competed in photography 'tournaments' and won some first places, which in turn caught the eye of local businesses that liked what they saw. Plus it's rubbed off on her sons too, who have gotten a shutter "bug" and competed successfully too. And she's a divorced mom with 3 sons. With a firefighter training.
Just use any of your talents and see how they can make your life brighter. If that doesn't work, of course, it could be just a chemical imbalance you need to address with a doctor or some practitioner.

Good luck, sweetie!

Talk to your doctor, right away! You may have seasonal affective disorder, a form of depression. I do and for me it started at as feeling 'bummed' all the time and a little bit cranky. I used to love the Fall, but that last few years I dreaded knowing that Winter was coming. I started treatment for it last year and what a difference its made. There are treatments available that don't involve taking medications - light therapy, exercise therapy, etc. Its a medical condition, don't let anyone try to convince you that you just need to snap out of it. Please, see your doctor, don't be empbarassed or afraid to talk about it with him or her. You'll be so glad you did!

Hi D.,
I started feeling the same way right before my son turned one. I ended up seeing an acupuncturist and he said my progesterone/estrogen balance was way off. He put me on natural progesterone and I instantly felt better. Might be worth looking into...Good luck!

You need to get sunshine. Sunshine raises your serotonin levels, which gives you feelings of well being and happiness. It is hard to do right now with it being cold outside and days of no sun. When you see the sun, get outside. Let it soak into your face. Take a walk, do whatever. Also take Vitamin D supplement all winter long. People in the Northern states are very deficient in this. Another herb you can try is St. Johns Wort. A friend of mine swears by this. She was on antideppressants and wanted to get off. She started taking st. Johns wort and excercising. She is a totally different person. Always happy and smiling. Really try to get into excercising. Even if it's for 20 min. a day. It will lift you're mood. Try not to go on any antidepressant drugs for this problem. They have serious side effects and you're messing with you're brain. Also look to the Bible. You will find happiness through the Lord. Good luck and God Bless.

Depression is more common than people think. Check with your doctor and start with a physical. It may be chemical and treatable. Don't fall for the old "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" nonsense. The best way to care for your children is to care for yourself.

Good luck.

You should have your thyroid and iron levels checked. If they are off it could effect your level of energy. That being said you work and are raising two kids. I am there and it is exhausting. Something about this time of year when there is less sunshine certainly doesn't help. When was the last time you had "me" time. My husband doesn't get it, but I beg him to take the kids to the movies or out to play without me. That gives me the chance to just hear quiet - which is so nice. You need a day to yourself - read a book, book a pedicure and massage, just watch a movie with a cup of tea or cocoa. It is going to get more stressful as the holidays approach. I found myself laying awake last night thinking of all the things I had to do. I always take one vacation day in december for myself. The kids go to school or daycare - husband goes to work - and I do things for me. Sometimes that includes working around the house - because if my house isn't in order that makes me feel like I am falling behind. If you think it is more than that - you may want to consider talking to a family therapist who understands the demands you are under raising kids and working. It isn't easy. I can tell you it gets easier as they get older - but you have a lot of years before that is going to happen so start to find some time for yourself to do the things you enjoy. If relatives live nearby - offer to watch thier kids in exchange for them watching yours. This will give you both some free time. Good Luck!!

I was feeling the exact same way after having my son. It lasted a good two years. I now realize that it was probably hormonal along with the drastic changes in my life. I was also lacking sleep. I had stopped working and became a SAHM. So many changes! I felt seriously depressed and sad all the time. I cried constantly and enjoyed nothing besides my children. I finally went back to work and school. I started to do things that I used to enjoy. (Reading, walks, coffee and lunch with friends, etc.) I also changed my diet and started drinking more water. I began to eat more healthy foods and exercising. I feel so much better now. Even though I sometimes feel overwhelmed with my busy days, my life is very rewarding now. Do things that will relieve some stress. Also, you may want to talk with your doctor. He could prescribe some nerve pills that you could take until you start to feel better. I hope this advice helps. I know how hard it is to feel sad. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to email me at ____@____.com

God bless! :)

Dear D. E, Hi, My name is K.. My heart went out to you as I read your call for help. First of all, thank you for doing just that. We don't live on an island. We need one another. We go thru tuff times in our life so when we reach the other side we can help someone else. I felt like you do when I was going thru my divorce. I felt like no one.
What was I going to do with my life? I didn't like myself.
I was all alone. The best thing I ever did was become a Born
Again Christian. I admitted to Jesus I was a sinner. I indeed had fallen short of his glory. (We are all born with a sinful nature) I asked Him to come into my life and fill the hole that had left me empty and hopeless. D., Jesus answered my call for help. He did fill that empty hole with Him. We have a personal releationship. I talk with Him and He talks with me. Everyday is a new adventure. There is a
purpose for my life now. The Bible says that he "has a purpose and plan, a future and a hope for me" Jerimiah 29:11.
The sky is bluer, the grass is greener, the husband is more wonderful, the kids are sweeter. Life is GRAND. Yes, there
will be trials and tribulations, but Jesus said "He would never leave us or forsake us." HEBREWS 13:5. He said we could "Call on Him and He will show us great and hidden things we know not." Jerimiah 33:3. D., that gap is filled up with joy and peace and hope.
I pray that you would give Jesus a try Please write back if I can be on any help. May the Lord bless and keep
you and your family. K.

I have soooo been there. I actually talked to my doctor because there is a family history of depression in the women on my mom's side of the family. What I was describing was categorized as minor depression and I'm now on a low dose anti-depressent and feel a lot more normal. You may not be suffering from depression, but it may be worth a talk with your doctor.

You know, as moms &/or wives we spend so much time caring for those we love that we often forget to care for ourselves. The fact of the matter is though, if we don't care for ourselves, then we it WILL affect our ability to care for those we love!

So, my suggestion would be to carve out some time for yourself. You mention you love photography and scrapbooking. Plan some time each week when the kids are with someone else, taken care of and safe... and you can focus on something just for you. Maybe take your camera out and get some great winter shots then put together a scrapbook of your 'me' time. :-) Get a massage, pedicure, something... just do something each week that is just for you. It's not for anyone else. But you need to regularly take time for yourself. I think if you do that, you will find your old self again.

We have all been there.

Just another I have soooo been there reply. You are getting a wide variety of responses but one resounding theme is to take time for yourself. I personally started seeing a counselor, I refuse to take anti depressents, and then started having other physical symptoms. As I looked into, I noticed a common thread and decided to talk to my doc about perimenopause, he said no way that was it, even hormones said no, but due to some other uterine issues he put me on a 6 month regimine of hormones, and for the first time in 3 yrs, I feel like myself again. I am 40. Please look at your age, and your symptoms. Write a list (even dry skin is a symptom of hormone imbalance), anything that you feel physically or emotionally. Keep a journal of "up or good" days and bad days, so that you can watch for patterns. Someone said that it could just be the season, that is sooo true, if you have seasonal affective dissorder, maybe you should lay in a tanning bed everyonce in a while.

Take time for you!!! I have even left the kids with hubby once and spent the night at a friends house(her kids are grown) and we did girl things and girl talk. Good luck!

I wish I had something great to say to make you feel better, but I dont. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone and my girlfriends and I all have had these times. Some of us hide away at home for a few, and others of us really need a good girls night! (doesnt have to be anything fancy) Gather up your girlfriends and I know they will try their hardest to help you feel better....at the least for the time you are with them! Could it be the holidays also? This time of year can sometimes be really tough? ps.....did you know they say everyone should have at least 12 hugs a day? I wish you the best and send you hugs! (sorry if that sounds too corny:)

D., as you can see from all the posts you are not alone. I'm in the same position and sometimes wonder why I am even here and how I don't make a difference. I believe I have PPD my youngest son turns 2 this month and since his birth I just don't feel like I believe I should. Listen to motivational tapes, not depressing ones. Take time out for yourself and find some friends who will just spend time with you and get you believing and feeling like you matter.

D.,

It sounds like you have depression. Make sure you talk to a Dr. about this. Paxil has worked real well with me. Don't feel ashamed because it happens to everyone. Do you live in Michigan? There is also a depression called SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) this is when there is a lack of sunshine. It might help too if you get a "daylight" bulb for your lamp where you would sit the most. 1/2 hour a day does make a difference.

T. V

D., I would say go to your doctor and tell them about your symptoms. Have the doctor rule out medical causes or find the right one. The ladies below have said many good things, but you need to figure out the right one for you. Your doctor should be able to help with that.
Good Luck!

Hi D.,
I know that you have already received many emails with such great information, but i wanted to just contribute some information. I work/own a center in Rochester called the Mental Fitness Center and one of our focuses is on exactly what you are talking about. Our Naturopath and one of the counsellors there work with individuals on mood using nutrition and natural supplements. I had the opportunity to meet with the Naturopath myself when i was experiencing similar challenges due to postpartum and pregnancy hormone changes. It was really helpful. Please don't think i am making a plug for our center, there are other naturopath's out there, but if you would like additional information please let me know and i can forward it to you. Best Wishes.

Good morning D.,
I felt like this about 5 years ago. I ended up going to a therapist for a few visits just to talk it out and come up with a plan. I was basically feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Depression was setting in. My kids were older than yours so I was able to set up a house cleaning chart for them and my husband to participate. It felt so good to take some items off my plate. I also started taking a low dose medication to help with the anxiety. The results have been wonderful and the kids have their fun mom back. I hope this helps out.

Seek help immediately, either from your family physician or your OBGYN. After having 3 children myself, I felt the same way and realized it was a chemical imbalance from pregnancy. I started taking Zoloft and immediately felt better. Whatever you do, do not ignore it, it could be anything, but finding out is the key. Good luck!