Oh my gosh! What did I get myself into... ok so I had a best friend our friendship has been rocky since she split form her boyfriend & father of her 3 children. We out grew our friendship. She lives about an hour away which didnt help. Her ex-boyfriend was & is good a friend of ours & lives closer. This summer she sent her kids to stay with their dad. He just got a job & asked me to watch the kids on Monday. Since he was going to go in at 3am he brought the kids late Sunday night. Its now Tuesday & he has not picked up the kids! He doesnt have a car ( he drives a motorcycle) & he keeps texting me that he is trying to get someone to get them but he cant get anyone to help. I love the kids & was happy to help but I have 3 of my own which 2 of them started school today. I have doctors appointments I have to go to. I dont know what to do. My friend didnt even know I was watching them. He told me he is going through alot & need to move out, get a car & the kids are not enrolled in school. They are 12, 8, & 6. I feel so bad for them & wish I can help but I dont think I can. What do I do?
Thanks
EDIT: I walked my kids to school because my car is not working right now. So I cant drop them off. I did get a text from my friends yesterday but she doesnt want the kids. Their uncle dropped them off & he was supposed to pick them up but didnt & isnt answering his cell phone. Even if I get a car to take them, He rents a room & I dont want to leave kids alone. He works from 3 am to 7pm. I feel horrible for these kids :( But I want to do whats best for them Thanks again
Thank you ladies! I dont want to be their Guardians I just thought he needed a little child care for a couple of hours & I was happy to do just that. I had no idea that my friend didnt want the kids this year as she stated to me. I did call her after the fist couple responses I read & she was very upset because she thought that their dad had it under control. She doesnt have a car either & her being an hour away I dont think she will get the kids. I called their dad & told him to figure it out or I would have to call CPS & he called me back asying he is sorry that this happened & he is on his way to get them. In the end I know I did the right thing. Helping him out & calling their mom. Now she know the situation & it's their problem. My heart breaks for these kids as I know they have an unsettle life ahead of them. I just pray that they act like adults & do whats best for the kids. Thank you all I appreciate the response
If it were me I would try to enroll them in school myself. They need to be enrolled in school. If you tell the school the kids' parents are flakes maybe they will allow you to enroll them.
If he lives so close, why can't you just take the kids home to their house?
drive the kids to his place...
to me one of the responsibilities of being a parent is to have the CORRECT mode of transportation...
So - you need to find out what you are willing to do so that you are not being taken advantage of and go from there - I've not walked in your shoes and I don't know your routine but you know your limits so if you want to HELP fine - but set boundaries and limits...
The dad needs to get the RIGHT mode of transportation for being a dad and a motor cycle isn't it. How did he get the kids to your house?
Write a list of what you are willing to do and how you can accomplish those - but he also has to know the boundaries and what he is responsible for....you can't let him just drop the kids off....talk it over...communication is key!!
if some of your kids started school today, then why can't you drive his kids to him?
taking it a step further...what's he been doing for transportation all along & how'd he get them to you?
& moving on....if the summer is over, why can't the kids go back to Mom? Or why isn't she picking them up? Are they with Dad forever?
If they're with Dad, then maybe you could help him get the kids enrolled. Sounds like a nightmare....& I hope DFS doesn't step in!
UPDATE BASED ON YOUR EDIT:
Call CPS. Immediately. Forget the rest of this... mom doesn't want them, dad can't take care of them and the uncle dropped them off so that you could take care of them. This is terrible. Call the 800 number and report this whole situation. It's neglect on the part of both parents.
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Call mom and have her come get them. Sorry, but this isn't okay no matter how you look at it. They have been with him all summer? Yikes. She needs to come immediately and get her children. Let her deal with her ex regarding the blatant irresponsibility.
If you dont' want to do that, text him and ask him where he is. Load the kids into the car and drop them off wherever he is. If you get to his location and he's not "fit" to have them, call CPS and then call mom.
If the kids are not with their dad, they have a right to be with their mom. And she has a right to know where they are since he's giving you such open-ended information!! Tell him to tell the mom where his kids are - with you - or else you will. You can tell the mom that you had no idea they would be with you for so long and you just thought you were helping out for a night. A good dad should move heaven and earth to collect his kids!
The mom may feel that you have sided with him but it's important to realize that you can stay on friendly terms with both people when there is a split.
It's too bad "he's going through a lot" but this is not about him! It's about the children! How can they not be enrolled in school? The 2 parents need to get together and work on this - it is not your concern. Give him 4-6 hours to call the children's mother and otherwise you make the call.
She doesn't WANT them? They are HER kids! Call her and let her know you are calling CPS. I know it sounds horrible, but it might be what's best for them, if their parents are really this irresponsible!
Even if you have it in you to take care of them, like other posters said, you aren't the legal guardian, you can't take them to school or get them medical treatment if necessary.
It's a bad situation, and you need to remove yourself from it :(
My guess is that it is not the first time the 12 yr old has babysat (ask) and is legally allowed to in most states, go to your apt. if you have a little one take him or her with you. the kids are old enough to talk to you and let you know how their life is. We dont have to guess. if they lie to protect parents they will not be good at lying. ask who they like staying with mom or Dad, where are they planning to go to school near Mom or Dad? How often do they stay at home alone? then deal with what you learn and decide if you should call DYFS.
Has this situation rectified itself yet?
I am just like you. No matter how mad I would be, I would feel awful for the kids and not really want them to leave!
I'm sorry, he works from 3 am to 7 pm???? 16 hours a day with no set day care OR car to transport his kids??? And mom "doesn't want her kids?!?"
I have no advice for you. I'm sorry. All I can say is SOME FREAKIN' PEOPLE!! And thank God for people like you!!!
This is an absolutely horrible situation. I would call CPS. The children need to be in school. If neither parent is going to be responsibile for the kids, you need to. It might sound harsh calling the authorities but my guess is that these kids won't be new to the system. I really feel bad for them. They probably feel like no one wants them. Not their fault they have crappy parents.
I think I would've been on the phone to their mom by now...
Uh, how did he get the kids to your house? Why haven't you called the mom? If neither parent gets the kids - then call the police or DCFS.
You cannot enroll the kids in school - you aren't their guardian! If one of them gets hurt or sick, you can't get them medical treatment either. You aren't their guardian.
Why don't you drive them home? If it's school time why aren't they back with their mom? It doesn't matter what he is going through he needs to come get his kids. If you can't drive them home tell him to rent a taxi.
