Ok One More Question

I think any disappointment will fade the moment he looks into her beautiful face at birth. (assuming it's a girl, that is).

You know, men don't play house like little girls do. They don't pretend to be a bride, be a housewife, be a mommy, etc...they play trucks and stuff. Girls play pretend that prepares them for the role of being a mom from day one. They have years and years of dreaming about it and play acting it out.

Often men don't full become fathers until one day they are sitting there and the baby looks up at them and smiles, or they take hold of dads finger, or they make eye contact, etc...they have that "moment" where the world suddenly is righted and they fall in love with that child.

Usually men don't become that instant father in their minds until that first moment this interaction happens. They can always tell you the exact moment it happens too. This research was done for the purpose of differing parent reactions to miscarriages before a first living child is born. The father often cannot fathom the degree of loss the mother feels, to him it was not a baby yet. The first time they hold that first child and have this moment they often go through a mourning phase for the loss of the lost child, they have finally become a dad and understand that love. They do love the child before but this moment is THE moment their lives change inside.

Until he has his "falling in love" moment he may not even thing concretely about his child being an actual child. Give him time if he doesn't seem excited, he will have his moment and never be the same again.

Chances are you are more worried than you need to be, but given your concerns about how he might react, I'd say it's better to find out now and get comfortable with the news now rather than later. I had a similar situation. I believed (based on things my husband had said at different times) that he REALLY wanted a girl. We both knew we'd find out the sex beforehand, which was helpful to us in a number of ways. We learned we were having a boy, and it turns out my worries were unfounded. It took him a few minutes to get his mind around the idea, but he loving embraced the notion and has been a wonderful dad -- which would have been the case with either a son or daughter. Your husband, too, no doubt will be just fine in the end. I'm sure his only true wish and concern will be that you and baby remain healthy! Best wishes.

If he has a girl, she's going to have him wrapped around her little finger.

Just you wait ;)

It's 'mama's boy' and 'daddy's girl' for a reason ;)

Don't worry for one more minute about it. Most guys THINK they want a boy but when/if that little pink bundle is born he will instantly fall in love.

It's just way it is, until there is a human being attached to the idea of what gender we'd prefer, it's all too abstract. It's about expectations and future plans. As soon as there's a baby, of either sex, it will be all about that little person.

If he "spoils" her with love and attention she be just fine. Girls thrive on attention from their Dad. As long as it's not material spoiling and she always knows whose in charge, having "having him wrapped around her finger" is a good thing. It just means that he will be there for her no matter what, forever. Congratulations!

He might have a brief period of disappointment, but he'll get over it. I firmly believe you are given the children you are meant to have. I always, always pictured myself with a two girls and a boy. Instead, I have one girl and two boys. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It's the perfect family for me. It's funny how your perspective changes.

Girls have a special bond with their daddies. My almost 10 yr old daughter has had her Daddy wrapped around her finger since the minute she was born.

And BTW, dads can do sports with daughters too. My girl is very sporty. Her dad took her today for her softball evaluation and can hardly wait for her season to begin. They spend many hours playing ball together.

What difference does it make WHEN he finds out if it's a boy or a girl? Now or at birth? You can't change it! He will either like it or not. And if he doesn't like it, then maybe it's better to know now so you can give him the boot! Sorry, but if it makes that much of a difference, then you don't need him being around you or the baby!

And how come he is worried that if it's a girl he will spoil her but not if it's a boy? Can't he spoil a little boy? If he is going to treat the baby/child differently just because of it's gender then maybe you should give him the boot now!

honestly there is a possibilty of him being disapointed by not having his little man first and it may last until you have the girl (if thats what the baby is) and once he holds her he will be hooked for life

Don't worry. It's not good for the baby. So he might be disapointed, but it'd be the same thing when you find out when the baby's born. You're going to spend all that time worrying, if you don't find out ASAP so find out and relax. My dad kept hoping for a girl and wound up with 4 girls. He did wind up with lots of grandsons, so all hope for a boy isn't lost. If it's a boy, great. If it's a girl, great. Just find out and prepare for either one. Who knows....it could be a Tom-boy, so your hubby might have someone to play ball with anyway. Chill out and enjoy the moment. Get all gushy and find really cool cute stuff to do in preparation.