One Thing After Another.....

Updated on February 11, 2011
C.C. asks from Eau Claire, WI
7 answers

So things in the last 2 months have gone downhill drastically!! My husband lost all sources of income right before Christmas, we were working with our landlords to get caught up on rent (we only owed partial of Dec & Jan), but now it seems as if everything is falling apart! Our landlords decided to take us to court for eviction, I'm not sure how that's going to go when we go to court because all past due monies have been paid to them. On top of that our lease is ending (regardless of the eviction status) on the 28th of this month. I have been searching and searching for somewhere for my family to move. Unfortunately, with the pay cut my husband took (he's back to work now) we cannot afford the same rent we are currently paying. We have applied for all the assistance (which is embarrassing enough) but with waiting lists there is no telling when/if we will get any help. I have never been in this type of situation. I am a firm believer of taking responsibility for what you owe, and what you have (ie kids). Its getting to the point where I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning! Things were going so well for us, we were even talking about expanding our family, which is no longer an option for us at this point. I feel like I have lost all control.... and now I don't know what to do?!!!! Things are getting stressful at home between me and the hubby, and even the kids are being affected by the stress at home. I am so tired of hearing "We will get back to you" and never hearing from people again.... My family is currently out of state due to a death in the family, which I couldnt attend due to the situation we are currently in. Even when they are in the state, they are on the other side... A 5 hour drive from where I am now. My in-laws hate me and refuse to help me and my husband in any way. I am trying to be strong and believe that things are going to turn around for us at some point, but I just dont know how much more I can handle at this point....

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Based on some responses I need to edit this a little. My husband was laid off in March, but had been working side jobs, odd jobs, whatever he could get until he lost all sources of income in Dec. He just started his new job this month. Because of the lay off in March, we did cut all extras. We haven't had cable in I dont know how long. I have been putting in applications (at least 2 a week) since November. Because I had my first child when I was 17, I don't have the greatest work history so many potential employers don't look twice at my applications (or so it feels). We just sold our second car, so we would have extra money to be able to afford to even move. We don't own anything that is of value to even sell. Things were tight before December, but we were making it work, and now everything is just falling apart.....

More Answers

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

If your landlord has decided not to renew your lease during these hard times it suggests to me that there are other reasons they want you out, especially since you say you are all paid up. Having an eviction on your record will make it extremely hard to rent anywhere ever again. When you are in court ask the judge if they will waive the eviction from going on your credit report since you are paid up. Make sure you leave your current dwelling clean and with no damages to be charged against you. Take pictures and receipts to court with you to cover yourself.
My husband and I fell on some hard times about 5 years ago and ended up having to sleep on a good friends livingroom floor for about 5 weeks until we found new jobs.
That torture led us to the current beautiful town we live in and we manage an apartment building which gives us a FREE place to live without having to pay utilities and we get a decent salary. That might be a good job for you. If your husband is a handy guy most apartment management companies look for a husband and wife team to do the managing and maintenance of the property. You might give that a whirl.
Either way, you are going through some pretty crazy life changes right now, but it will put you where God wants you to be regardless of whether you want to be there or not. You cannot fight God's will for your life.
Pray about it, have faith and watch for the doors that open for you while the others are closing.

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J.K.

answers from Gainesville on

If you've paid all past due monies and your lease is ending this month, I don't know why they would actually go through with eviction court. If you can't afford your rent any more I would assume you are leaving at the end of this month, right? So why would they try to evict you? I think that if you move out they won't go through with it. If you do end up going to court, get a lawyer. Firms do pro bono work all the time and if there is a law school nearby that's also a possible source for cheap legal representation.
I don't know what things are like in Eau Claire, but I talked to the housing assistance people in DC and they are running at least 3 years behind on housing assistance, and they start with the homeless. However, the housing authority got back to me with this information pretty quickly. I had gotten an offer for a new job in DC at a pay cut and would have qualified, but with the waiting list it wasn't worth it to apply. So leave an email or a voice mail with the housing authority asking them how long it takes to process a claim and get assistance. They will probably tell you. But from my experience I have to say you probably won't get it any time soon.
You might be able to get utilities assistance through the power company.
You can get food assistance through local food banks, which may or may not operate through churches or other charities in your area. Research these.
You may qualify for WIC. Research the qualifications online.
You'll have to find someplace cheaper to rent. Given the economy, you will have a better chance of finding cheaper places now than later. You can see if your current landlords will accept a smaller rent, but don't count on it. Look around at houses that have been vacant and for sale for a long time, call the number, and ask if they are willing to rent. Tell them what you can pay. You have nothing to lose.
If your kids are in school, get a job during their school hours if you can find one. If you have to pay for day care and don't have a job, either take them out to relieve the cost pressure, ask if you can volunteer at the day care for a reduced rate, or find something during shool hours.
Get rid of cable or satellite and watch broadcast TV. Your family will be back in state soon enough; don't worry. You'll manage. At least you have family in state; they won't let you be homeless.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

There are a lot of people in your same situation, so know that you are not alone. I've been on the edge, and we're working our way back too. I know the feelling of just staying in bed, pulling the covers over and wishing it all away. You can't make it better by sitting still.

As for your housing issue:
- if the current landlord takes you to court, make sure that you have copies or your receipts or checks to show the court. They will NOT take your word for it.
- look on craigslist. You can search buy rent price. There may be some income restricted places that you don't know about.

As for the stress level:
Been there! Just keep telling yourself that you are in this together as a family. Your husband probably didn't ask to be laid off. He does have a new job so he's doing his part. Bills due pile up faster then they are paid off. The key is to sit down and come up with a plan as a family for moving forward.
- Keep your kids in the loop, so they aren't caught off guard, but they don't need to know all of the details.

My husband and I both lost our jobs in 2009, two months apart. No savings, no severance from his company. We had to pull our son out of after-school stuff because we couldn't afford it. We've had credit card limits SLASHED or the accounts closed altogether without warning.

The thing that has worked the most for me is to put my faith and trust in God. It hasn't been easy. It hasn't been stress free, but each time I had a NEED, it was met.
Ex. I had a bill due for $131.09. Two weeks til payday. That night in the mail, two rebate checks totally $131.12 showed up in the mail. One I knew was coming, one I did not.
- I was looking at a gift for my son. It cost $600 above what I had so I had decided that he could go without it. The next day a mortgage refund check for $625 showed up in the mail.
- We needed groceries. I had $42 cash for groceries. Bought the bare needs. Register display wasn't working so I couldn't see the total. Cashier said 'your total is '$41.83'.
- Another week we had no money for groceries. An $80 gift card to Target, as a 'thank you' for signing up for something showed up in the mail.
- Found out I need new tires for my car. $700. I was allowed OT at work. After taxes I brought home $1000.
- Didn't have money to pay the babysitter this week. Last night a check for $200 showed up.

People say to live on faith all the time. However, until I truely let go and let God handle the big stuff, I never understood. We still live day to day and splurging for me is being able to buy lunch or skip, we eat mac n cheese w/ peas as a whole meal. we do alot of pasta dishes that can be two meals, but are kids are clothed. The lights are on, and we haven't missed a bill.

Hugs.
M.

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P.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I don't have a solution for you, but want to extend words of encouragement to you while you are struggling. You sound very responsible and I've no doubt you will find suitable housing for your family. Perhaps you are going to have to take a cut to your standard of living for a while and that's okay. Your family is with you, together, and it doesn't matter what your income is. I know it's sooo hard to look for positive things in your life when it feels like everything is falling down around you. After this experience is behind you your family will be so much stronger for it. Try your best not to let your family turn on one-another. You need each other and none of you caused the situation you are in now. Life just punched you in the face and it HURTS!

Take time out during the day, just for a minute or so, to evaluate what's going on with your body and your feelings. When it gets overwhelming just stop a second. Take some deep breaths and let go of that tension and make a plan for the next hour. Sometimes you just have to take it hour-by-hour. Make a list of small goals the night before. Think of what you can try and do that next day to better your situation, or find some more answers, and then try not to dwell on it when you can't do anything more that day. Don't punish yourself with carrying that stress 24-7. It's not going to make anything better and it's just going to hurt you. (I know, all easy to say at a distance, but trust me I've been in that whirlwind before and you can come out on top)

Take everything one step at a time. Each thing is just ONE thing, try not to bunch them all up together. Make a plan, talk to your husband calmly and pay attention to your stress level. I'm sorry I don't have a solution to your problem, but I've no doubt you guys are going to make it.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

First of all, I'd get a lawyer (or at least call one to talk) about seeing if there is something you can get (in writing) promising to pay X amount extra per month if you want to keep your house. If not, I'd look for subsidized housing in your area. Nothing to lose by checking it out. They go based on your income. You didn't mention if you work (and I didn't look at your profile) so if not, I'd suggest looking for a parttime job - even at McDonalds. At this point I'd also cut out all extras - tv, basic cell phones, no internet, etc. If you have credit cards, pay the min if you are paying more. Downgrade your insurance to liability only if you can afford it on your car. Talk with family - maybe they know if a house or apartment that you could afford. I am sorry you are going through this!!!

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B.W.

answers from Louisville on

I am sorry to hear of your troubles. It will get better. You have to keep on believing and keep your chin up, for the sake of your children. I am assuming that your hubby is still actively looking for a job w/better income while he is working. I would look into picking up a part time job and/or maybe one of you should pick up an extra job at night until you get back on your feet. Cut back on the un-necessaries like cable tv, internet, movies, eating out,and start cutting coupons. Think of low-budget type meals to fix for your family (frozen vegetables are pretty cheap and hamburger, for example). Put the word out that you are looking for a new place to live, maybe someone you know will know of a lower priced apt or house you can rent. You are strong. You and your family will get through this but you have to stick together and unite to work through it. Keep it together for your kids. I know it is hard. We have been through tough times, too, and lived week to week for a long time. But it will make you stronger together to get through this. Good Luck!

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I know that this is easier said than done, but can you take a really close look and make some more spending cuts? Is there anything you can sell to make ends meet? Do you work? If not, can you do something part time even to make cash? Can hubby (or you) take on a second job?

You have three children, so in theory you need a 3 bedroom apt or house, but could you "make do" with 2? It would be really tight, but it may also reduce not only your rent, but also utilities.

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