Pacifiers and 3 Yr Olds

have you ever seen an adult sucking on a paci? No.
it's annoying when you see older toddlers and even 5 yr olds in some cases, but eventually age, the great equalizer, makes it stop.
don't build a wall over a paci addiction, it's not worth it.
jmo :)

Tell her that pacifiers are for babies and that she's not a baby she's a big girl.
Does she sleep in a big girl bed? yes
Does she wear big girl underpants?
Does she need to be a big girl and help mommy with the baby? yes
pose all these questions to her.

ive been trying to figure out what the big deal is with pacifiers. it seems like a trend that just caught on--and everyone thinks there's a problem with it because the person before thought there was a problem with it. if you ask anyone what the huge problem is with a child having a pacifier past a certain age, you never really get a good answer. If it's always in their mouths non stop to the point where it was affecting their speech, that would be one thing. i dont think anything is wrong with it. it comforts them. why are you letting the child cry over it? just let him have it. if no one else is doing anything, then maybe they don't really care and they're just trying to be civil about it when you mention it--or they feel insecure because EVERYONE mentions it and they feel like they have to let people know that they plan on doing something about it so that they don't get the evil eye.

Honestly, don't be that mom/MIL. You stated the facts, now don't bring it up agian unless asked by the mom. Let them figure it out on their own. You have and keep the rules the same for your house.
As a mom, you know sometimes it is the path of least resistance that gets us through the day and while we would love our kids to do XYZ, in the grand scheme of things it is not THAT big of a deal and it gets you through the day.
They are both still pretty young. When the kiddos are both a bit older, your daughther/DIL will have time to really devote to weaning both kids off the paci:)

A small response to Grandma T- I <3 you... And yes, I did see an adult with a paci... They were tripping on Ecstasy. lol. I know, not the same.

I had my BIL's wife say something snarky about my 2yr old with a paci (he generally only asks for it when he's tired, got hurt, or is upset - uses it at night or nap). I told her when he doesn't have it available, his thumb goes in and it was suggested by the dentist that a thumb is usually worse... You can't get rid of a thumb.

I had one until I was 4. My teeth are great. My daughter had hers until she was 4 and her teeth are great. So, I agree with Grandma T on this one. To me, it's not the end of the world.

I know you have your opinions, and you have a right to them -but this isn't your child, so you shouldn't say anything. In the grand scheme of things, pacifiers really aren't that big of a deal. She'll drop it completely eventually -and probably pretty soon. I would never mention it again. Her baby brother will be giving it up soon as well (hopefully) -but even if he doesn't -still not your place to say anything. Although I'm sure there is one kid somewhere who did, I've never seen or heard of a kid tromping off to kindergarten who still uses a pacifier!

It's a jealousy thing. She needs your attention and love. Because you focus on the little one, and she used to be the center of attention, she wants that back, so she pretends she needs a pacifier. Try to pay attention to how much you leave her out of things and do your best to include her even while playing with your 1yr old.

Let this be a lesson to all paci sympathetic parents! I am not trying to ruffle feathers or offend anyone, but I can't hardly stand to see preschool age children running around with a paci in their mouth. Here's why:
I sucked a paci until I was almost six. My parents just never took it away, and I'm sure tried to justify it in a number of ways. Now that I have children of my own, I know now it was just plain old laziness on their part. They just didn't want to hear me cry, or deal with taking it away. Ultimately, my uncle, thank goodness, had good enough sense and stepped up. He put Texas Pete on the paci one day when I wasn't around. When I popped that thing in my mouth it burned me up-lol. He told me that he had put Texas Pete on all my pacis, and if I washed it off, he would put more on them again and again. He said he would be over everyday, with his bottle of Pete, until I threw them in the trash. That was the end of that. I threw them away myself.
People can say it doesn't hurt a child's teeth and all that nonsense, but I wore braces twice over 5 years to fix major orthodontic issues (misalignment, crossbite, bad overbite). I still have jaw problems from all the orthodontic work. The front of my mouth was so misaligned before all the work that the permanent teeth were loosening and I was developing periodontal disease. Was it because of that long term paci use? My dentist thought so. No one else in my family has orthodontic problems, so it definitely wasn't hereditary. Eventually, my parents had to pay the piper in the form of some serious $$.
Hopefully, the mother won't let it go on as long as my parents did. Feel free to hare this answer with your granddaughter's mother- you'll be doing her a big favor about 10 years from now!

Here is a link that will allow you to check out a few ideas that other mothers have done to get rid of the paci. There are a few ideas that are very creative and they make the child feel "cool" for becoming a big kid and that might be something that your graddaughter needs. Since she insists she is still a baby maybe you should try something to help her embrace being a "big kid". She is very young but maybe you and her parents can work on making her see that she is a big kid compared to her baby brother...hope this helps.

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/pacifier?utm_campaig...

Okay... this is always a huge debate! First, pacifiers may/may not have anything to do with teeth. However, I work with several speech and language pathologists who all agree that using a pacifier when talking will alter the way a child learns to speak and can result in articulation errors. Think about it... it's like trying to talk with a hard candy in your mouth all the time.

Having said that, the bigger concern here is the behavior regression and referring to herself as a "baby", which she is not. It sounds to me like she's using the paci to manipulate her parents and the in-laws. If she doesn't need it at your house, but needs it with them she's doing it to get their attention.

Talk with your daughter about ways to bolster the importance of your granddaughter seeing herself as a "big girl". This isn't about the paci, it's about wanting attention and finding ways to get it!

Honestly, I hear you on this issue but it's not your call to make. All you are going to do is create a rift between you and them. She will drop the paci habit soon enough. I'm sure she won't be going off to kindergarten with her paci in her mouth. ;-). I would just drop it unless your daughter brings it up with you. And, yes you can have "house rules" about no paci in your home but why? Again, you are just going to create more animosity that way both between you and the other adults and you and your grandchildren. Let it go.

I really don't want to offend but I think since this is not something that is harming the child- it's really up to her parents to decide when it's best to take the paci's away. If they share your concern but don't do anything then they are not ready, and right, wrong or indifferent- parents get to make these decisions. As the grandma- it's your job to spoil them and you have the luxury of not having to worry about being the bad guy that has to take the paci away.

I never introduced a pacifier to any of my children so there was never a need for one. Personally, I think pacifiers are useless and only become an annoyance later on when mama or daddy wants to get rid of it. My children never had one, I can't understand why other parents feel their kids need them.

I recently heard about a "paci fairy" who is closely related to the tooth fairy. Have her leave all of her pacis in one location at night before bedtime. Then, that night while she's sleeping, the paci fairy will come and collect them and leave her a "big girl" gift. Having her select a few big girl options the next time you're at the store will help her feel independent, too. Then she can be surprised by whichever gift the paci fairy leaves her.

It sounded like a viable option. One I will be participating in when that day comes for me. My daughter is 1 and I can already tell that leaving the bedtime paci is going to be a challenge!

If the baby is going to be 1, he won't need a paci anyway! Take them all and chuck them in the garbage! At 3 1/2, that's going to cause a lot of permenant dental and speech problems. Buh-bye pacies!! Make a rule, if the grandbabies are at your house, NO PACIFIERS, sorry, house rules. Your grandbabies parents need to be on the same page as well. Fight the good fight :)

I could care less if a child sucks on a pacifier or not. If it bothers you then stick to your guns. Say not at your house.

I have to live every day for the rest of my life seeing my daughters recessed jaw and messed up teeth due to not letting her suck on a bottle or pacifier when she obviously still needed to suck on something. Her fingers were very convenient and she still sucks on them as an adult when she is really stressed or very tired.

Have you tried doing reverse pschology---she wants it probably because she sees her brother get the attention of being a baby (and the memory of sucking is residually comforting, probably). So, if she wants to be a baby, then tell her what babies can't do: If she's a baby, then she can't (fill in whatever fun thing it is that her brother is not allowed to do, places he can't go, toys he can't play with). And that if she is a baby and wants the pacifier, then she also can't do the fun things a 3yo can/go to the fun places a 3yo can, etc.

Pediatricians and Dentists recommend discontinuing the use of a pacifier because it can cause speech problems and/or crooked teeth. You can try all you want, but you have to get her parents on board!