Parental Rights

If there is no custody agreement then he cannot have you arrested. But you should go file for custody asap. Talk to a lawyer. If he is on the birth certificate and decided he wants to take the child, without any sort of custody agreement he is within his rights to do so......even if he has never talked to the child. Good luck

I would consult with a family law attorney for what options are out there. This can be pretty sticky.

He can go to court and be granted rights but he cannot have you arrested for kidnapping.

If he is serious he can go to court and petition for visitation and they can grant him an injunction keeping you from taking the child out of state. Without going to court the police will not act on his call reporting you for kidnapping.

So to recap, he has parental rights but he does not have custody rights but can request them.

Yes, he has parental rights but he can't stop you from moving unless he goes to court. He cannot successfully accuse you of kidnapping. I suggest you consult with an attorney. You need a legal document saying that you are the custodial parent.

To change custody or to have parenting/visitation times enforced he will have to file in court for that to be done.

I was in a similar situation after my son was born. To make a long story short the police said that as long as there is no custody order both parents listed on the birth certificate have equal rights. That means your son's father cannot be charged with kidnapping either so I would suggest you get a custody order to protect yourself. However, in most cases the courts will determine if it is in the child's best interest to stay close to the other parent or to move out of state for the custodial parent's job. Considering the fact that your son has not had much of a relationship with his father I would imagine the courts will allow you to move but they may say that you have to cover the expense of getting your son to his father for visitation. I would suspect that if you push this at all he will get bored and take off again. Good luck!!

We are not lawyers here. You absolutely need to hire a very experienced lawyer who knows New York state law regarding custody. While it sounds as if your ex has little legal standing, you cannot go by what you read (anywhere!) or what others tell you -- unless they are lawyers specializing in this field. It will cost you, but it will be worth the peace of mind. And please, be sure to find out if you need some kind of court order regarding visitation and custody etc. so it is crystal clear that you are your child's SOLE legal guardian, now and going forward.

I can't tell from your post if the dad has been seeing the child at all -- you mention that you don't have any court ordered legal arrangements, but I assume that perhaps the dad has had some form of contact with the child--?? If so that could confuse things more than if he has had zero contact and suddenly appeared from nowhere. If the dad truly has had zero contact, you might ask a lawer if that can be called abandonment or how it would affect your case.

The fact his signature is on the birth certificate could give him some rights -- but again, you must get an attorney today.

Big eyeroll on the "kidnapping" threat. In many states, in the absence of a custody agreement, the mother is presumed to be the sole custodial parent even if there is a father listed on the birth certificate. New York does not appear to be one of those states, at least with information that is easily accessible on the web.

He can't have you arrested for kidnapping because there is no document that grants him parental rights, and the police have better things to do with their time than enforce non-existent court orders.

That said, he can certainly file for custody and/or visitation and drag you back to NYS for hearings at later dates. Of course you would also then file for child support.

If you can't afford an attorney (most single moms can't, I never could) you can call up the clerk's office of your local family court. Many courts have a free "lawyer of the day" service and you can meet with someone who will be able to answer your questions. I have found that the clerks themselves also had a lot of reliable information. We have successfully obtained custody of both my son and my husband's daughter without attorneys, so it can be done but I would try to speak with someone who can give you a clear answer on the presumption of custody question.

My guess is that the father will drop it once he sees that he can't control and bully you - most uninvolved non-custodial parents disappear back into the woodwork when the figure out that getting their way will actually entail things like effort, time and money.

Good luck to you...I would go ahead and accept that job, talk to an attorney or someone who can give you a clear answer on the presumption of custody question so that you know what the worst-case scenario is, and let the chips fall where they may. Even if he tries to file paperwork today, it will take a while for him to complete the forms, have you served, have the return of service delivered to court, and request a hearing, which will be scheduled months from now. So no need to panic today.

He does have parental rights. His name is on the birth certificate. But, no one has legal physical custody so you both have the same rights as far as that goes. You can take your child anywhere - there is no legal document saying you can't. BUT he also has that right - he can take the child as well. No one can call the police on the other because no one has a legal document giving them physical custody and with his name on the birth certificate, he is afforded as many parental rights as you. This is how it is in California. You should check with a family law attorney in New York for specific advice as to the laws in New York.

call the legal aid people in your city. THey can tell you what you need to know.does he even give you any child suport?

You may be the guardian now sort of as "default" but if you move, he's going to file and that status could change. If you never terminated his rights, he should still have rights. I can't image a judge would give him custody yest but they would certainly grant visitation.

I suggest you get something official in court now regardless of the job.

In NJ even though you have given birth, you are not by default the custodial parent. He would definitely have rights.

This is not a problem just a major inconvenience. Yes you should get an attorney. He can't have you arrested for kidnapping because there are no court documents in place giving him sole custody.

My suggestion would be to take the job in the other state. File for custody and arrange visitation in the state where you move too but definitely seek the legal advice from an attorney. While you are dealing with the issue of custody and visitation, child support is yet another separate issue you will need to consider. I understand you have been holding things down for your son for the last 4 years but your son has a right to be supported by both parents.

I know from my own personal experience just how painful it can be to have the father of your child NOW show up and show interest but it is in your son's best interest to get to know his father and that side of the family unless this man is abusive, drug addicted or something else along those lines.

You are in a tough positiion but with legal counsel you will be able to manage these tricky waters with ease.

Again get great legal representation and get into court as soon as you can.

I have to ask. If he has not been a part of your son's life how did he know about the job move?

Talk to an attorney. If he hasn't been involved at all why all of a sudden? Is this a control thing for him? Is the state going after him for money and now he wants to play daddy? More information would be helpful. But first thing you need to do is contact an attorney who specializes in custody disputes.

I agree with the others, consult an attorney. A father has rights whether he's on the birth certificate or not. He can not have you arrested, but he can force you to move back! I woud go to Court before you move. Show the court you got this job and its in your child's best interest to move. The Courts anr usually more likely to give you what you want if you ask first rather than do what you want and then ask later! Plus, some states make you live there for several months before the court will consider you a resident and allow you to file there. This will give him rime to file and force you to return to go to court! Good luck and talk to an attorney before you do anything!

You need to contact a lawyer. He signed the birth cert, so he has rights, but if you can prove he has never seen the child you may have a case for abandonment. either way, you need a lawyer ASAP

He has parental rights and could probably go and file to get a custody agreement through court. But I don't think he can do anything to stop you from moving without going to court first. Right now you have had the child with you exclusively so him trying to say you are kidnapping him is silly. There is nothing to enforce if there is no custody agreement. It may be possible that if you moved and he filed for custody/visitation where you live now you may have to came back for hearings and abide by any custody or visitation that comes out of that. If you moved he may have a certain amount of time to file for custody/visitation (maybe even 2-3 months depending on the state). So check with family court and a lawyer for the details in your state.

He is that child's father. He can file a motion with the courts and make you appear. I would contact an attorney about filing for child support and he will get visitation. He should have some local visitation so they can build a relationship and get to know each other before he stays with him extended time.

But he will get visitation and will have to pay all that back child support. Child support Enforcement will file the paper work and get the court order to take care of it for you.

He will never see a tax refund again. It will all go to you each time he files his taxes and they will take the child support out of his pay before he gets his check.

He has no custody or visitation agreement. He would need to get a lawyer and petition for custody or visitation. You should consult your own attorney. Court will take into account that he has never taken part in his son's life and never paid any support. Good luck

He can't have you arrested for violating a custody agreement when there isn't one.

Take the job and GTFO of there ASAP. Don't talk to him at all. Document everything he says.

If he has a problem and feels like he all of a sudden wants to play ball, let him file for visitation rights. As of now, he only has what you agree to until the courts tell him otherwise.

Also...everyone else is right...you're going to eventually need an attorney. But wait until you're established in your new place before you bother. It'll take him that long to file and get you served anyhow.

I'm sure I'm just repeating everyone else. If there is no custody agreement then no he cannot have you arrested. But my son's father and I are together living in the same house and I have a court ordered custody agreement! You seriously need to go to family court Monday and file the paperwork, in NY the cops cant help you unless you have a custody agreement. Meaning if I had never gone to court as a formality and my sons father had suddenly decided to take off with my son then I would have to file paperwork and possibly have waited months to get him back. I believe in hoping for the best but making sure you butt is covered! If you cant afford a lawyer most courts can get one appointed to you for free.

To many responses to read but having been through a battle myself all you need to do it file a petition with the court for full legal/ physical custody with visitation as mutually agreed upon ensuring that it says nothing about leaving the state. Legal Aid can walk you through filing the paperwork in pro per and have him served by the sheriffs office. Idle threats are common when the “convenience” is no longer going to be afforded to them